I had an invite from a good friend recently for a group girls weekend away recently involving a couple of sleepovers at a two friends houses. We will all share the costs of the food. The email went to about ten people.
At the end of the email, my friend put
‘Bugslife, I am assuming you won’t be staying but it would be great if you can join us’
Quite quickly another email arrived with further details for paying for stuff, sleeping arrangements etc and another direct comment to me
‘BTW Bugslife, I assume you are not free for the weekend sleep over so this doesn’t apply to you, but you are very welcome to join us.'
I immediately felt that I wasn’t really welcome.
The background is that I have two small children, no family help, both were exclusively breastfed as they refused a bottle, DP used to work a lot of weekends away and we have, as you can imagine, been skint the last few years on one salary (though I am going back to work soon, phew) I have had to turn down some invites for meals nights out for out etc for these reasons. However, I do still go out, always turn up for birthdays, gatherings as much as I can, just not out as often as I used to, and not spending lots. Not unlike a lot of people with young families. I have also had nights away more recently (eg family parties). I’m not a hermit.
In addition, about six months ago, an old friend of this group got married abroad. He sent me a card announcing the marriage. I mentioned this to friend (sender of emails) and she told me that a surprise party had been held in the UK when he visited his home city, in his honour. I said I was very sad I didn’t get to go. She then said, ‘oh, you should have come along’ and I said, how could I when I knew nothing about it. . She then admitted she didn’t tell me about it as ‘she assumed I would not be able to come’ I was very upset, and said there was no reason why I couldn’t have gone, I have family near where the party was being held and could have stayed with them. I could not get my head round it at all. She then mentioned the girls weekend thing and I said I'd love to come.
In spite of this previous incident, she has just done this. AIBU in being very hurt and angry at being singled out like this?
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AIBU?
to be upset and silently fuming at this?
70 replies
bugslife · 08/07/2014 22:20
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