To take some rent from DD

[Jayne35]

DD starts her first job soon, it's an apprenticeship so not fantastic money but more than I got for my first job - around £95 a week. I have asked that she pay £20 a week towards housekeeping costs and still do some jobs around the house if I ask (DH and I both work 40+ hours a week).

Is it now unreasonable to ask DC's to contribute? My XH has been telling DD her wouldn't take any of her wages or ask her to do chores etc the dole dossing entitled fuckwit which is really pissing me off and I think DC's should get used to 'paying their way' before moving out.

[LastTango]

You should take £20 - but she now pays for hair dye, cosmetics, etc.

[ilovecolinfirth]

Not unreasonable at all, it's a valuable lesson. I would suggest though that unless you NEED the money, maybe you can save it for her without telling her. She'll definitely need the help if she ever wants to buy a house.

[Randomeclectic]

Id probably take 15 a week but save it up for a deposit/car/tutoring fees for her.

[AllDirections]

I would have to take money from an apprenticeship wage. My DC understand that.

£20 sounds fair to me OP but she should also be buying her own clothes and hair dyes.

[mumtosome61]

I started working 4-5 days a week when I was 17, so gave my Mum half of whatever I earned a month. My Dad had left us in shit creek without a paddle - I don't think he paid child support because he said he was paying the 'mortgage' (he wasn't, it defaulted and caused my Mum tonnes of agro). When he stopped paying bills properly it became a lifeline for us.

I would do exactly the same thing - just to get that idea of budgeting in their minds.

I really think financial aspects like budgeting and understanding the concept of borrowing money should be taught in schools - I was offered my first credit card at 18 and didn't know what the hell it meant.

[Randomeclectic]

Also I think she should do one job each day - so cook or Hoover through the house etc

[Jayne35]

@LemonyCrickets

I have asked DD to do washing before and every-time she sends me pics of clothes asking 'Is this light or dark'? So I think I will continue to do the washing

[Wrcgirl]

I had to pay a third of my wages for keep, this helped with food, money was not abundant. I then had to cover car lessons/car and buy toiletries.
It was not a rule that I had to do a job a day in the house, but I tried to do a job on my day off and help generally.

Dh did not pay keep. His parents had money to cover and put him through uni. I did not go to uni.

He is better at budgeting than me.

Work that out! :)

[ChickenFajitasAndNachos]

Jayne will your daughter have to pay for travel to work, or can she walk or get a lift?

[Jayne35]

I do need some of the money, but some I will save for her. I'm not taking rent because my parents did but because DD needs to learn that things cost, this is the maximum I will ask for even if DD is still here in 5 years time on a decent wage.

With regard to jobs, she did have a couple of daily ones for which I paid her £10 a week but she no longer wants to do those (has said she will do some jobs without expecting payment as I pointed out that DH and I clean and cook and don't get paid for it. I also pay her phone contract.

[Lauren83]

From 16 I paid £120 a month out of a full time wage (14 years ago)

[Jayne35]

Wrcgirl - I'm rubbish at budgeting too (yet I work in finance!) Money was not abundant in my parents house either and as my parents both worked odd shifts I had to cook a couple of times a week too, that didn't help me either as my cooking is bloody awful!

Chicken - DD will get a bus a couple of days, walk a couple of days (she wants to keep fit) and as working hours include weekends, either I or DH will take her/pick her up at times too.

[SummerSazz]

My sister paid rent as she worked ft. I had to put £75 a week away from my summer job in 1991 which was probably more than half my earnings, but I took this to Uni with me to pay bills etc. I think Dsis is still bitter

[deakymom]

if it were me i would save the money up for her as a deposit for later when they want to go it alone x

ps your dole dosser ex h would lose some benefits if she lived with him so he would have to charge her x

[Jayne35]

Mumtosome61, I agree schools should teach budgeting and the credit card thing is not good. DD went to bank recently and they went on about changing her account now 18 and offering other services. I told her she really doesn't need a credit card yet!

[Jayne35]

Oh he would lose benefits deakymom? I'm just off to help DD pack her bags

[ModreB]

When DS2 started work at 18yo, on a full time wage, coming out with about £250 a week after tax.

We sat down and worked out how much he would be charged for a bedsit (inc bills) in the area where we live, which was about £90 a week.

So, he paid £60pw plus the meat bill (Which he got at a massive discount as he worked at a Butchers) which worked out at about £15, so a reduction on the bedsit price.

He is now at Uni, and has the best budgeting skills of all his housemates, who never learned about bills for gas, water, electric, etc, etc.

And I have a secret fund for him

[WitchWay]

Yes you ought to charge her. My brother earned a pittance as a school-leaver - DM & DF always charged him for bed & board - nothing like enough really - they knew that - but they felt it important he made a contribution.

[Whereisegg]

You wouldn't be unreasonable at all to take that op, but tbh I think she'll learn a lot more about budgeting etc if she paid for her own clothes and toiletries

[dawndonnaagain]

We kept it and handed it back when ds1 left home. Will do the same with the others. It meant he had his own place and could afford a car, too.

[pinkie1982]

When I got my apprenticeship in 2002 I was on £400 per month and paid my parents £100 housekeeping out of that. They used that towards food / bills. It's a life lesson, to understand that nothing is free and there is a cost to everything.