To be furious at swimming pool regulars who think they own the bloody pool. To the point of kicking a disabled child?

[Sneezecakesmum]

Dont know who I am angrier with. Myself or the middle aged woman swimming in the local pool apparently doing her daily 50 lengths of breast stroke, when we (the interlopers) dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!

FFS she came up behind us so definitely saw us. I was holding a child festooned in buoyancy aids, (so both arms needed) and facing away from her so I didnt see her. The first thing I knew she kicked/or hit me lightly then with the next stroke kicked out strongly and I felt the childs body rock against me. Luckily he is a tough nut and just looked a bit shocked.

AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? No apology, no acknowledgement despite being fully aware she hit us!

I just stood there like a wimp feeling it was my fault for being in 'her' pool

You know that thing where you do/say nothing at the time, but rage and vent afterwards? Well I am venting!

[bruffin]

I very much doubt she kicked intentionally. I have kicked the walk and damaged my toes doung breast stroke. It is very difficult to deliberately kick someone intentionally when swimming.

[magoria]

Did she know your child was disabled and deliberately kick him?

Did she even know her foot caught a child and not you?

I have both kicked and been kicked in pools it is just part of moving limbs.

Yes an apology would be nice but I think you have milked your title to make it sound a deliberate and vicious attack on a disabled child.

[Hairylegs47]

The things folk are coming up with as excuses for the swimmers awful behaviour are more shocking than the original 'offence'. The woman kicked a kid in the pool, but that's ok cos she couldn't see/OP was in her way/OP was standing with her back to her/she was swimming laps.
Change the setting to a Main Street pavement, the OP has the temerity to be in said woman's way, so she accidentally kicks the child on the way past.

OP, YANBU at all. Let it be hunt her down, stake out the pool, and stalk her and just keep enjoying the time you have with your DC. It shocked you, her behaviour, but just forget her. If you are at the pool the next time as someone's doing laps but just in the regular part of the pool, stay calm and swim on! You have as much right to be there are they do.

[OwlCapone]

CBA with all the frothing here.

[OwlCapone]

It was an accident. Get over it.

[OwlCapone]

Change the setting to a Main Street pavement, the OP has the temerity to be in said woman's way, so she accidentally kicks the child on the way past.

Don't be so ridiculous. The equivalent would be accidentally bumping into them. She didn't kick out at the child, she was swimming.

[Sneezecakesmum]

Owl. Unfortunately at the time I did not express anger or frustration, which is why I am so angry now. Not just her actions, but my own lack of action which permitted someone to continue to think that they own a public pool and can kick children who are there. Unfortunately my natural politeness and others like me allow arrogent people to behave like this.

She may have been swimming for fitness, but the disabled child with me was also there for therapeutic reasons as well as fun!

[annebullin]

Yes the equivalent would be accidentally bumping into someone, but surely you would apologise?

[bruffin]

Op
What has having a disabled child got do with it
It wss an accident get over it.

[TheTerribleBaroness]

If you didn't speak to each other, how do you know she was a regular doing her daily 50 laps?

A woman, probably accidently, kicked you and DS whilst swimming. She is wrong for not apologising. Try not to stress about it anymore as you seem to be letting previous feelings about the pool cloud the issue.

The pool should really have areas sectioned off. I would mention it to the management. I also think that you mentioning DS is disabled is important as it highlights the importance of going swimming for him and that he needs to feel secure in the water. Being regularly kicked will undermine his confidence.

[SpringyReframed]

Why do have to say "middle aged woman"? WTF has age got to do with it? Also why has her "daily lengths" of "breast stroke" got to be mentioned? If she had been a 20 year old training for a Triathalon would that have been better for you?

The tone of your post is very unpleasant. Are you sure you werent deliberately getting in her way?

[OwlCapone]

Compare these two questions:

1. AIBU to think you should apologise if you accidentally kick someone in a swimming pool?
   
2. AIBU to want to rip the fucking head off the woman who kicked my disabled child in the swimming pool?
   
   
3. perfectly reasonable and sane
   
4. utterly bonkers and well over the top.

[Sneezecakesmum]

I didnt say she did it deliberately, ever. But commonsense tell you if you are kicking out in the direction of other users and children you take evasive action. It was her arrogent attitude of 'get out of my way'. I dont have to avoid you, you have to avoid me, that has angered me!

It was the lack of apology or even acknowledgement that is annoying.

[Whathaveiforgottentoday]

Of course you have a right to be angry so people agreed with you at the start of the thread then you mentioned you like to rip her head off and suddenly you don't sound so reasonable. She kicked you which was probably an accident, she should of apologised to which she is definitely BU, but everybody needs to respect others right to enjoy and use public swimming baths.

[TheTerribleBaroness]

In fact, the more I think about it, the pool is at fault for not providing safe zones for the different swimmers.

[Lottiedoubtie]

Lottie. She swam very very close to us. Less than an arms length away so unfortunately for us, not a legs length away.

Sarinka. I was facing away from her. She came up behind me. How could I have taken more care.

I was not standing in her way. I couldnt SEE her! She could most certainly see me!

I repeat. She couldn't have kicked you if it happened in the way you describe. If she could see you, and was swimming towards you how on earth did she kick you?

She might have kicked you as she swam away from you? In which case, you were moving and she couldn't see you. So if it happened, it was an accident.

Although yes, if it happened she should have apologised.

[ChelsyHandy]

I'm sure she didn't do it deliberately, breaststroke is quite a forceful stroke and perhaps she didn't have full sensitivity in her foot or leg and was disabled herself?

But swimming pools are for swimming in, and if you are carer to a disabled child, surely its your duty to avoid placing him in a position in the swimming pool where he is going to get kicked by people swimming up and down? People swimming lengths usually go up and down in a straight line, so they're not that hard to spot.

[Sneezecakesmum]

Yes I was deliberately getting in her way because I like to have a child kicked. Man, woman, teenager, old, young, of course it doesnt matter. If Id said young man, would the response be different?

[BarbaraPalmer]

yes, her manners could have been better, but in an open-to-all swim session you will invariably get splashed, bumped and kicked. it's par for the course.

[TheTerribleBaroness]

Yes. Because then we would have needed to know if he was fit and looked good in trunks.

[Silvercatowner]

On occasion I have tried to kick people who get in my way (mostly muscly guys doing butterfly, not disabled kids.....). It's actually really hard to kick someone with any accuracy when you are swimming.

[OwlCapone]

I didnt say she did it deliberately, ever. But commonsense tell you if you are kicking out in the direction of other users and children you take evasive action. It was her arrogent attitude of 'get out of my way'. I dont have to avoid you, you have to avoid me, that has angered me!

"Deliberately" is implied by the phrasing you used though. Also, common sense should tell you that, if you are sharing a pool with serious lane swimmers you take evasive action and keep an eye out for them. There is also a certain arrogance in assuming she has to avoid you. Both of you were in the way of the other. If I am in a pool with serious lane swimmers, I keep an eye out around me.

[Sneezecakesmum]

Oh well. Lottie. If you say so. I am a liar and we didnt get kicked ........even more

Ok so I have never ripped anyones head off and I never would. I would have asked her politely if she was aware of kicking us and pointed out it was a public pool.

[allcatsaregrey]

I can't believe people are excusing this woman. it is never acceptable to kick a child. if it was an accident she should have apologised profusely. I am also the invisible parent of an invisible disabled child and swimming is the one thing that he enjoys in his life where he is excluded from just about everything else that other kids get to enjoy. I would have been raging as well.

[Icimoi]

Lottie, I was assuming the kick happened as she swam past? My feeling is that she misjudged how close she could swim. Pure accident, but she should have apologised.