Why are the richest always the tightest?

[KeepOnKeepingOnAndOnAndOnAndOn]

I have friends from all backgrounds. I myself had a middle class upbringing, but both parents are very working class and proud. We were always raised to have respect for money etc

In life I have met some very rich people, at uni my best mate was the richest girl there. She was lovely, but very stingy with her cash. Not with me, I just mean in general.

One of my other mates is also very tight fisted, yet shes bloody loaded. Most of my mates who are normal to skint are very generous and tip Etc.

We are comfortable, not loaded though. I am generous and tip and certainly not a 'taker'.

Its seems the biggest 'takers' in life always see to be the rich. They think nothing of coming over time and time as in for tea/ borrowing money / but never invite people to theirs. Try to dodge outa payin for their share of meals etc.

AIBU to think that rich folk often seem rather tight? Is this why they are loaded!

[MissMilbanke]

Somebody posted upfront about never putting money into shaking tins on the high street.

I volunteer for a small local charity. We get one day a year (all through the proper channels in the council) for our small group of volunteers to stand on the street with our tins.

Its very times consuming for very little reward in reality and its sad to think that some people will deliberately not contribute - But its one way we can raise awareness and raise some funds.

I have to say men are always more generous than women !

[NearTheWindymill]

I'll always put something in one of the those tins Millbanke I will not have any truck with chuggers though or with anyone who calls at the door for sponsorship.

What people don't know is what goes on behind the scenes, be it levels of debt or gift aided standing orders to charities, etc..

[TheSpottedZebra]

MissMilbanke (ref collection tins) I have to say men are always more generous than women !


But see - it's not a fair measure of generosity really, is it? On the whole, men have more coins to hand, in their pockets, so it's easier for them to safely stop and contribute. Whereas by and large, women have less coinage, and it's in the purse, in the bag, on the shoulder. So they'd have to stop, rearrange bags, rifle through handbag, get out purse, risk dropping cards etc all over the shop...

[flippinada]

I think there's a difference between being thrifty (looking after your money, being sensible about spending, budgeting etc) and being miserly (going to ridiculous extremes to save money, being plain old mean).

I'll give you a good example of the latter - a relative of XPs who was very well off and had hundreds of thousands in the bank. They worked in finance and had sold a house in London for cash at the height of the financial boom, so very comfortably off.

When this relative moved back to their home town, hundreds of miles away, they bought a new house which happened not to have a wheely bin. For some reason the council wouldn't replace it so, rather than simply buy a new one (which they could have easily afforded), they drove back to London, collected the bin from their old property and took it back to their new place.

I wonder if it ever occurred to them that they probably spent more in petrol getting to London and back than buying a new bin would have cost?

[MissMilbanke]

Ahh you have restored my faith in human nature nearthewindymill

and good point zebra I never have any money to hand and always end up having to rummage in bottom of handbags etc

[wowfudge]

Hmm - interesting. Friend of a friend is very comfortably off. Early 40s, no kids, etc. has already paid off mortgage and owns (outright) another property he lets. He is properly minted and was bemoaning to my friend that he had no one to leave his money to. She suggested charity or, jokingly, herself because she could think of loads of things she'd love to have the money to do.

And there is the answer: this guy is rich in monetary terms, but won't enjoy his money while he is alive. Which I think is odd and sad. Yes, save for your retirement but fgs enjoy life while you can. Travel, indulge in your hobbies, go and do something different. Anything but sit there telling someone less fortunate that you are loaded and don't know what to do with it!

[Pagwatch]

So your friend of a friend is a tosser.

That's not indicative of any group of people. That's just him.

[Rabbitcar]

Totally agree.

One example - I worked at a law firm as a trainee and was friends with a partner earning approx. £400k. We went out for lunch and I paid, so the next time, he paid. It was the cheapest cafe (in the City, so not as cheap as it could be, and we did eat in) and the total meal came to £8.

He spent the next week worrying that the 80p tip he had left the waitress was too much.

We didn't go for lunch again. I hate stinginess, especially towards those who could do with a bit of money themselves. Fine, be frugal at home, but not tight towards others.

Tightness is probably one of the things I hate the most in people. Very different from being thrifty/poor, and very unattractive.

[Rabbitcar]

And I have met very many lovely, generous people who don't have much money at all.

[OwlCapone]

That must make it fact then.

[expatinscotland]

I don't have friends who are tight. There is nothing good about stingy people. The second they show themselves up as tight, I delete them from my life.

[Pagwatch]

I worked in the City for a decade and a half.
My friends and all the people I knew were incredibly generous.

I know a woman with red hair who is something of a twat. Perhaps red heads are twats?

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

My PIL are so tight it's funny. It doesn't really get you anywhere in the end. They are worth over a million and the inheritance tax DH will have to pay on their estate is double our mortgage. They might as well bloody spend it than give it to the government

[manicinsomniac]

I disagree. Mean people are mean people regardless of income. And so are generous people.

I only have two friends (a couple) who are millionaires and, obviously, I don't know the ins and outs of what they do with their money. But some things are evident:

• they bought a struggling young man a car so that he would able to do his job.
  
• they founded, own and partly run their own charity
  
• one of them manages and finances a drop in shelter
  
• whenever I go out with them they insist on paying. I don't always let them but the offer is always there, they certainly aren't tight
  
  They also have a fantastic house, cars, holidays, clothes etc but why shouldn't they? I bet they do a lot more for other people with their money than I know about.

[NearTheWindymill]

Actually MissMillbanke one reason I always put something in a shaker's box, and the charities I can think of off hand are: leukeamia, shooting star appeal, children's cancers, alzheimers, parkinsons, Iris (?) is because inevitably I think the people holding the can have been touched by tragedy relating to the charities they are collecting for and to help in this way is part of the process of bereavement and coming to terms with what has happened. I often ask if they have been affected by the illnesses they are collecting for and they usually tell me all about their husband or wife or child or niece/nephew, etc..

[KERALA1]

My sisters ils are hilarious very wealthy but stay in youth hostels and shop at aldi religiously also keen on cutting out coupons. Then super generous paid off both kids mortgages rather than saving it for iht

[Ewieindwie1]

DH is always generous: stands up first and offers to buy drinks when out in groups, tips generously and rarely discusses money. He works hard but isn't interested in money. It's probably of the most appealing and loveable things about him. He is generous with time too. Maybe those things are linked?

[grovel]

I worked for a mult, multi, multi millionaire. He was tighter than tight in everyday life. He also gave millions to charity on the quiet. Very hard to generalise.

[specialsubject]

Bill Gates tight, eh? The below is funded largely from him selling his shares.

www.gatesfoundation.org/

I'm sure plenty of other people do the same. They may of course not shout about it. BTW the most efficient way to give to charity in the UK is a direct donation to the charity online - do it via justgiving etc and while your name may show up, that's 6% straight off it.


the playground insult 'tight' does not apply to those who don't waste a fortune on sparkly tat at retailmas, cards that get thrown away next day, food they don't eat, brands etc etc. That is called 'having a brain'.

however not paying your way and not giving a bit of time is mean.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Prefer to give to charity by direct debit as they get gift aid. I do sponsor DC in things but it annoys me slightly when there isn't a gift aid option as the charity is throwing money away.

[Pagwatch]

Specialsubject

Did you really not get that I was being sarcastic - having quoted the two people who have made the greatest charitable donations in history, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet.

[Pagwatch]

[specialsubject]

no,I didn't. Sorry. But no need for too violent toy-throwing, sarcasm doesn't always show in writing.

and there are plenty on here who would hate Bill Gates because he (Shock horror) looks like a 'geek' and has made money from (double shock horror) science.

[wowfudge]

The guy I mentioned is incredibly tight with his money - he'll be leaving a sizeable estate with his house, flat and the savings that he never spends at this rate. Yet he is the sort of person who doesn't tip in restaurants, counts up his exact bill on the rare occasions he eats out with others and doesn't leave a penny more. Oh and a few weeks ago, my friend had arranged to go round to his place to watch a film in the evening and asked whether some other friends she was with that afternoon could come along. He said yes then emptied his wine rack in the kitchen so he didn't have to share his wine!

I think it's terribly sad that he doesn't have the imagination to be able to enjoy his money and is so miserly.