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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this was a little OTT?

110 replies

aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 11:02

Picking DS up from nursery last night and another Mum was there collecting her DD. She had her 5 yr old DS with her.
Her DS said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" (there are lifts and stairs).

Now I would have replied along the lines of Yes lets go.

She however said "Now is that a command or a request hmm?"
Her DS "A request Mummy"
Her " And how do we phrase a request properly hmmm?"
Her DS "Mummy may we go up the stairs please?"
Her "Now that's much better, I will listen to you know you are speaking properly"

Me and DH were just stood there looking at each other thinking WTAF??
Then I was thinking - was that OTT or am I just really common to think it was??!

OP posts:
Original poster
aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 13:53

Becles Love the pp who pointed out that her DS can use 'command' and 'request' in context at 5 years old - can yours OP?

Errr - no, but then he is only just 2.

Tilly ^But if the OP would prefer, I suppose I can stop acting like an adult and go for the "stop telling me what to fucking do, alright". I mean, if it would make me seem less snobbish, and make me fit in better? Or perhaps I could slap them?

Sorry for placing kindness to my children over fitting in or the all-important English need to "not sound posh".^

Tilly not at all sure what you are suggesting, this has nothing to do with being snobbish, nothing to do with being an adult, nothing to do with swearing at your children or even slapping them. This is to do with an OTT response to something quite simple.

Your post is implying that this is what I would think more acceptable.
How dare you?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 13:57

Why don't you start a thread Tilly? You seem to have things you want to discuss that aren't really relevant on this one.

MrsCakesPremonition · 04/04/2014 13:58

Tilly, I think most people's immediate responses would have been "Yes, let's" or "Not today" or "OK, you go up the stairs and I'll meet you at the top".

I can't see anyone implying that swearing or slapping would be a reasonable alternative to the conversation in the op.

MrsCakesPremonition · 04/04/2014 13:59

Tilly, I think most people's immediate responses would have been "Yes, let's" or "Not today" or "OK, you go up the stairs and I'll meet you at the top".

I can't see anyone implying that swearing or slapping would be a reasonable alternative to the conversation in the op.

TillyTellTale · 04/04/2014 14:01

aworkingmummy

I dare, by reason of being able to type, and seeing threads like this and this.

Loads of people defending a woman for swearing at her children there.

Perhaps you, as an individual, prefer a bit of light pedantry to swearing at one's children, but it doesn't seem universal here.

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 14:03

No, I am lost again.

TillyTellTale · 04/04/2014 14:04

But they are relevant, Sparkling. They are.

And they will continue to be relevant as long as people make the posts they are making here. I understand it's not the free-and-easy sneer at an MC parent issue you want, but you know...

I don't see why I should have to shut up about actual "spirit sapping" because it makes people uncomfortable. I'm at a computer. No-one can do anything to me here for communicating.

Original poster
aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 14:04

Tilly
You are sarcastic, pompous and how can a put this? - a pain in the arse.
Stop reading in to things that aren't there, stop assuming what sort of person I am and go and start your own thread and stop haunting this one.

OP posts:
BeverleyMoss · 04/04/2014 14:05

I'm lost too, I cannot fathom what it is about this thread that is so offensive to people who have experienced speech difficulties.

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 14:07

It feels like I haven't RTFT but I have. Confused

TillyTellTale · 04/04/2014 14:12

sparklingbrook Nothing like dampening a child's spirit.
FryFatManiac If these children get these lectures all the time, it's going to sap their spirit.
Sparklingbrook The sad thing is that he probably won't even bother suggesting it next time because he knows he will get a lecture.

These are the problems in the thread. So much about a woman wanting "may" instead of "let's". Where is this attitude when children with even a tiny problem with R's are getting bullied?

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 14:13

What? Confused

BeverleyMoss · 04/04/2014 14:14

Eh?

And in principle I do think it's spirit dampening when a five year old, who has made a perfectly polite request, is reprimanded and made to repose the request. Yes, I do.

TillyTellTale · 04/04/2014 14:17

How clearly can I put it?

Having the physical shit being kicked out of you at age 11, by three boys, who you'd never met before because they heard you speak? That's sapping.

Having your friends' parents (they'd be on MN today) giggling at you and asking you to "repeat that" so they can snigger some more? That's sapping.

Being frightened to say anything because your class sniggers at you for saying wope for rope? That's dampening.

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 14:19

I don't doubt what you are saying Tilly but I am struggling to see what any of it has to do with this thread.

Original poster
aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 14:20

What has this got to do with this thread Confused

OP posts:
TillyTellTale · 04/04/2014 14:20

Beverley I can assure you that at five, I was fine with being asked to try "may I" instead of can. And I don't think it was because I'd been desensitised to speech criticism. It hadn't started yet for me.

BeverleyMoss · 04/04/2014 14:21

sorry are you saying we shouldn't be discussing or criticising the manner in which a parent is 'teaching' their child to speak while there are children being bullied for speech difficulties?

that's a bit like insisting no-one says 'I'm Starving!' when there are actual people starving in the world.

Gruntfuttock · 04/04/2014 14:23

Surely the point is that a little boy of 5 saying "Mummy let's go up the stairs" hadn't done anything to deserve a po-faced lecture about commands and requests. It was OTT imo.

TillyTellTale · 04/04/2014 14:26

I give up.

It has to do with this thread, because either you are adults without any grips, who truly think the worst that can happen in this area to a child is a bit of may I-ing. In which

Or, this is just the age-old "loud parenting" dislike, and people will do absolutely fuck-all if witnessing a child being bullied. And you will continue to sneer at "Wossy" and simultaneously feel pleased you don't "sap" spirits with the use of a perfectly good modal verb.

Original poster
aworkingmummy · 04/04/2014 14:28

Best news I've had all day is that you're giving up on this thread Tilly Grin

OP posts:
BeverleyMoss · 04/04/2014 14:30

of course no-one thinks this is the worse thing that can happen to a child,
don't be ridiculous.

We are talking about OTT and for some laughable parenting, not bullying.

Gruntfuttock · 04/04/2014 14:30

Sorry, I should have added that I do feel sorry for the little boy because in no way was he being rude or demanding and it seems a bit of a harsh way to be talking to such a young child that hadn't said anything that needed correcting. That little bit of sympathy for the little boy has nothing whatsoever to do with having sympathy for the children bullied for speech impediments. Having sympathy/empathy for one thing doesn't mean you have no sympathy/empathy for anything else that children may go through.

sezamcgregor · 04/04/2014 14:57

I think you may be talking about me!!

I make my DS "talk properly" all of the time.

Gruntfuttock · 04/04/2014 15:00

sezamcgregor So you would have corrected your DS had he said "Mummy let's go up the stairs" would you? That's talking properly as far as I'm concerned so doesn't need any correcting.