It's very hard for people who are being intolerant and aggressive to recognise their own behaviour and attitudes.
Who is the best judge of what it feels like to be in the receiving end of homophobia or racism? Not straight or white people, but those on the receiving end. If a child tells you that it is being bullied, would you assume that his or her account of the experience should be trusted or would you believe the bully? White people are quite capable of being unaware of their racist attitudes and simultaneously believing themselves to be non-racist, bullies can be unaware that what they are doing is hurtful.
So when people say that posters on this, and related threads are being aggressive or intolerant or prejudiced or bigoted, it is perfectly likely that these posters are unaware of how their posts are being received, and of the hurtfulness of their words. It's never pleasant to think that you are behaving in prejudiced and hurtful ways, but don't we owe it to others to at least listen to their experience and presume that they are being truthful about it?
For my part, I can see that the admissions rules of VA CofE schools are experienced as deeply unfair and discriminatory, and while I still think that worship in schools can have a really valuable part to play in children's educational, social and moral development, I have been convinced that selective admissions by faith schools are wrong.
Is it too much to hope that there might be some rapprochement from the other direction?