To think etiquette should be taught at school?

[Pedantichag]

What has happened to basic manners? Hmmmmm? Anyone have any idea where they've gone? Most people I've encountered recently seem to have lost theirs.

[manicinsomniac]

LaQueen how can you insist on a high reading level from an early age? What if your children have SEN or just aren't very intelligent??

I don't think it's a schools job to teach manners but a school can help. We correct children's table manners in the dining room, they have to hold doors open for adults, they can't run in the corridors, have to stand up when the head comes into the room etc. Just standard stuff really, I think most schools do it.

[JollyGolightly]

At my school we were taught how to.reply correctly to a written invitation and how to use fingerbowls, among other usefulnesses. Is this the sort of thing you mean?

[Fusedog]

No op parents should teach it

[Pedantichag]

I know parents SHOULD teach manners however many don't, this is an unfortunate reality as we know. This is also a statement of fact that no amount of pearl clutching can change.

For all saying teachers teach this and that and the next thing and therefore teaching kids basic social skills isn't their job, on the same token then shouldn't parents be teaching kids basics like colours, basic counting before they go to school do they can apply that knowledge in an interesting and meaningful way at school? No, that's teachers job. So that argument doesn't wash with me.

Part of a civilised society is basic manners, part of maths is basic arithmetic. I'm sticking by that logic before I getting a telling off.

[lainiekazan]

www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/mind-the-bap-since-when-did-chowing-a-chinese-on-the-tube-become-acceptable-9201613.html

This was in the Standard this evening.

I think eating in public is disgusting (excepting ice cream!), and I tell my dcs so. But it appears that noone else agrees now. Ds commutes to London and regularly feels sick as others chomp away on smelly food next to him.

When I was in the sixth form some girls were caught eating fish and chips in public at lunchtime on the first day of the lower sixth. That was it. Whole year ban from exiting the premises for the entire school year.

[Mrskeylime]

I think that teachers should model good behavior, but surely most adults do this anyway whether they are teachers or not?

[Pedantichag]

Mrskeylime

Can I come and live in your world please
No! Not being facetious either.

[Mrskeylime]

haha pedantichag! Most people are polite though aren't they? That's why we always notice the rude ones!

[Pedantichag]

To the contrary in my recent and not so recent experience. Always over joyed these days when someone shows even the most minimal of manners. Sorry state of affairs but then I am of course a pedantic old hag!

[missinglalaland]

I agree manners should be taught at home. That said, it's helpful if the school is enforcing the same norms.

[Goblinchild]

As I said, I can teach my lovely MC manners to children, but they may conflict with what goes on at home, and it may be sen as a direct attack on someone's parenting. Look at the bunfights that happen here, and we are all literate people with a certain degree of understanding.
If I have to teach it, my deportment will be improved by my nifty kevlar vest that I will put on my birthday requests list.

[PocketFluff]

At my school we do teach table manners, although more the sitting at the table nicely, being polite, sharing and passing food, making polite conversation end than the cake fork end!

We do a session every half term and try to fit the food in with our topic. We also try, where possible, to use a variety of foods that not all the children will be familiar with. They really enjoy it!

[mymiraclebubba]

Yabu parents should teach their brats manners

[NearTheWindymill]

I don't think they should teach etiquette but I do think teachers should be responsible for setting a good example in accordance with high standards. Personally I think that includes saying please and thank you, not yelling like a fishwife, disciplining children for bad language rather than making allowances because of background and the same goes for cheek, insubordination, disruption, etc..

I find this a really difficult one because MIL, a former deputy head, counts food and thinks it's a bit of a laugh to lick dinner plates. She also calls children thickos and says there's no point bothering with some children because at best they will only ever work on building sites, etc.

[Pedantichag]

Keep up my miraclebubba

[Pedantichag]

Nearthewindymill

I quite like your rather balanced argument.

As for mil 'oooooh, I say ooooh she's a bit naughty isn't she!!'

[QuickQuickSloe]

Manners are taught informally at my school. Good manners are rewarded and failure to use manners is picked up on and the child given a chance to remedy the situation. It's part of maintaining a learning environment that is good and happy for all the children.

[mymiraclebubba]

Sorry on phone and it failed to load most of the thread!!

[QueenofLouisiana]

Yes, model manners to my class. I always try to remember my pleases and thank yous and I hold doors for others.

However, my after school club today was a writing booster for yr6. Last term I ran an extension maths group for children choosing to take the Primary Maths Challenge.

Since I want to see my own child occasionally I'm not planning on doing another club.

[Pedantichag]

Tsk tsk Miracle.

Now! Moving on...(and beyond manners slightly).

Nose picking, spitting. That sort of thing.

Personally nose picking to me is vile however if whomever is carrying out this act in public and doesn't wipe the contents in their nose on anything other than a tissue or in fact eats it as I've seen, is it less offensive than say cutting finger nails on public transport transport or spitting in the street (my personal abhorrence), where bits of bodily debris is is waiting for some unsuspecting passerby to come into contact with it.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I have to say this though maybe controversial but:

Most of the children I come across are well mannered, its the adults who aren't.
My dd goes to lots of schools for various activities where there are many other parents, teachers outside the schools, and teachers from the schools in question.

It is very busy and lots of equipment being carried mainly by the children. We hold doors open for everybody, as do other parents etc.
Usually the children say thank you. A quarter of the parents do, and fewer of the teachers do. In fact the teachers are the worst.

I think the teachers do this because their minds are occupied on other things and maybe they are used to being opened for them.
My daughter comments on this quite often, she has started keeping tally . She is only 10 and these are all local high schools.

[MsAspreyDiamonds]

My cousin is an ill mannered, nasty piece of work because her mother is exactly the same. No amount of etiquette training will redeem those two. As the saying goes, the apple doesnt fall too far from the tree.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

I have never been taught good manners. They were modeled in the home and school and therefore are 2nd nature now.

Etiquette is slightly different. My grandfather and one of my teachers in PS taught me how to address bishops, en titled etc. While I can excuse lapses in etiquette, I judge the parents of those (under 25) who have poor manners. I am sometimes appalled at the lack of basic manners on MN.