to wonder if period dramas have ruined real men for me?

[olivebee]

I grew up on a diet of period dramas. Pride and Prejudice, Wives and Daughters, North and South, Emma, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility, Tenant of Wildfell Hall - the works. I loved them, watched them over and over again. Read all the books until the pages fell out. I fell in love with the morally courageous, dynamic, flawed men who leapt off their pages.

I have just come back from a date with a bloke who told me repeatedly and at length about being chased by a grizzly bear whilst on holiday.

He then informed me that his cat wakes him in the morning by licking his nipples.

Clearly, he isn't the one. I get that real men cannot live up to literature. I am not looking for perfection, but I would like someone who is just a teensy weensy bit like John Thornton. AIBU?

he can wake me up by licking my nipples any day of the week

yes you could shag old colonel Brandon and talk dirty in his ear about Eliza and he would probably croak and leave you a rich widow.

I agree about men in historical dramas, I also have a sideline in lusting after Vikings and highland warriors (hangs head in shame). Think about the levels of prostitution in bygone eras though - I read a study that said the average Victorian gent visited prostitutes twice a week. And the total hypocrisy of society - couldn't see a respectable woman's ankles, but could buy endless young girls for virtually nothing. Quite a bit less hot...

I'd like to use this thread to have a wee rant about arsey Mr Darcy. Although he has a million good points (bloody gorgeous, strong morals, extremely kind, honourable and yay, rich) he has awful, awful social skills. I would much, much rather have the grinning, silly, friendly, gregarious and yay, rich, Mr Bingley than struggle on with a moody, enigmatic, zzzzz....

Aahh, I feel better now.

Period drama men are lovely, but they were created as the ideal, perfect English gentleman and very few men can live up to that all the time. Cat nipple-licking should definitely be avoided though, lol.

Extra smilies to Cashmiriana for reminding me of Peter Wimsey and his Harriet swoon

Would definitely run off with Wimsey, and not only for the flat at 1a Piccadilly with the primrose yellow study.

Cannot see the point in the Heathcliff/Rochester types though. Far too much bother.

at "arsey Mr Darcy"

Wanda

well, that works too, Precious .

(110A Piccadilly. I tried to find it once. It wasn't where I thought it would be.)

John Thornton?

If it is not too unladylike, I would say, no fucking way! You wouldn't be able to speak to the next door neighbour without him concluding you were having an affair.

I completely agree with casmiriana's mother, too.

As interesting boyfriends, some of them make the grade. As someone to have a longterm relationship and house with? No, no, no!

YADNBU - reading has ruined real men for me too.

:( oh well we can dream

And, of course lest we forget - all of these 'period drama heroes' would have thought nothing of using the services of a 13/14 year old prostitute, or just shagging one of their indentured servants and then throwing them out on the road, if they got pregnant.

Maybe that's why I love Kester Woodseaves.
He's one of the workers. Not a self-made (ie on the labour of 8 year olds doing a 14 hour shift under the looms, yes, I'm looking at you Mr Thornton) man but an actual worker. He earns an honest living by his hands.

I know Mary Webb was writing a lot later than the others under discussion but it is set in the early nineteenth century.

(Yes, there is a dodgy bit, but he's actually kind to Prue, and a nice contrast to Gideon who takes brooding to its logical conclusion.... and the results aren't pretty.)

I love him so much I can't even cast him in my head for some hypothetical film version. Nobody is good enough.

Mr Rochester despises the women he kept as mistresses far more than he does himself for having mistresses. Notice that?

Mr Rochester is my man of choice.

Cashmiriana's mother is undeniably right, but I still have a little over Mr Thornton and feel obliged to point out that, compared to his fellow mill owners, he was a beacon of enlightenment.

It is hard to compete with a man in breeches.
That's before your get to the waistcoats and collars and riding boots.

I may be shallow.

Gabriel Oak. Good with sheep.

Heathcliff does a good line in hanging dogs. Puppies when little and then that dog of Cathy's later. ROMANTIC!

And Heathcliff and Cathy are the ultimate 'AIBU to tell my friend I can't stand hearing any more about her car-crash relationship?' LTB couple.

oops, spooky cross-post

Heathcliff hanged dogs? HOW did I not remember that?