to not want to buy a do-er upper home when DC are young - or maybe ever?!

[stuckindamiddle]

Many of my friends with small children are doing major renovation work to their houses - extensions, loft conversions, new kitchens etc. We're just in the middle of getting all the interior paintwork done by a pro - walls and wood - and between the dust from the sanding prep, the primer fumes and needing to keep small DC away from wet paint everywhere it's proving more than enough for me.

Once we're done with this there's nothing else major to do (hopefully!) but this isn't our forever home and we'll need to move in a few years for more space as DC grow.

I'm realising now that we'll need to rule out anything needing total renovation or anything more than cosmetic personalisation as I find the mess and inconvenience too much. We'll either have to pay a premium for the work having been done already or even - gasp! - consider a new(ish) build, which I don't generally like due to them being on high density developments and a bit identikit.

Am I being pathetic or do others feel the same?

[morethanpotatoprints]

YANBU its horses for courses. Some people can manage homes like this, especially if they learn how to do the majority of the work themselves and save thousands.
This is what we did on several houses, it paid off one mortgage by 40 and the second one will be paid off by 50.
My dh learned how to do every job except electrics as he wouldn't tackle this. He knew nothing when we got married but can do a house up from a shell now.
You can either live with the mess or not, there were times it drove me mad especially when dc were little, but the bigger picture always kept me focussed.

[missymayhemsmum]

Absolutely. Wait until the kids are old enough to help you sand, paint, tile and can learn useful skills like how to repoint brickwork and plaster, and you can make it a family project. 5 at least for decorating and 10 if there's demolition involved. Power tools, raised floorboards and a crawling baby is not a recipe for domestic bliss.

[Oblomov]

Couldn't. Even the mess of replacing a bathroom was enough for me.
Complete do-re-upper? For like months and months/ years?
No way.
Would kill me my marriage probably.

[SomethingkindaOod]

We've done it twice. Both times I was pregnant. It made life interesting for a while! No way would I do it again, if we move it will be to a completed, decorated house where the only thing that needed changing is the light bulb.

[WhereIsMyHat]

Oh and just to add, my H is a Project manager so that helps!

[msmoss]

I think I'd like my retirement home to be a project, I'll have the time and space in my life for that type of stress just need to work on having the available funds.

[WhereIsMyHat]

It depends on what you can afford, what type f house you want, how slumming it/ DIY capable you are.

We bought one as it was all we could afford. We're 5 years in and getting there slowly. Equity is allowing us to do a lot f work soon and my DH has finally realised we need to pay people to do stuff. It helps that neither of us are massively fussed on the 'perfect' house.

[Badvoc]

We bought a do er upper.
Except we didn't know it was when we bought it :(
2 years and ££££ later and we still aren't finished.
Next thing is a new kitchen (current one is falling apart, plumbing is buggered and the electrics aren't safe)
It's not an old house (1985) but the previous owners did all the work themselves...very very badly :(
I am dreading it :(

[BC27]

Oh god yes...the dust ! And the damp and the water pissing in everywhere. And the mice.

I love my house and I'd never leave it but I'd advise project managing it to within an inch of your life or you will end up living in a building site or hovel for years to come

[NearTheWindymill]

We bought a done up house when before our DC were born. DH then bought a doer upper which I did up against much stress and exhaustion and everything was sub-contracted. Now living in the done up one and doing up the old one.

The old one was near perfect when we bought it; over 22 years it turned into a doer-upper .

[KinderBoris]

Housework is a fucker in a house in progress though. My God, the dust!

[BC27]

Another one advising caution. We bought a doer up on the basis that I would do child care and housework and he would organise the doing up. He lost interest about 6 years ago. Sadly I couldn't reciprocate by giving up on the child care

[KinderBoris]

If you are a bit handy, it's really worth it. It just takes a bit of work!

I have what could be my forever house now and I'm not 30 yet. Detached, five beds from three, good area, landscaped garden etc. and it cost us what our friends paid for their finished two and a box bed
semi at the time. We had rotten balconies, ripped out bathrooms, dodgy wiring, leaks and a terrible, battered 70s kitchen to start with. We only paid for materials.

Five years ago something like this would have been far out of my reach. I hope a few years of rubble and dust while the dc are so young will be worth it for the home we will end up with. I've definitely got one more in me!

[LurkingCinners]

ThisSummer, we treated the walls and it was a dry spell (yes really) 1.5 years ago so it dried fairly quickly.
But we were told not to paint or line the walls until properly dried out. And that would take months, humidifyer or not.

I was scared to do all the work for the mould to be coming through shortly after.

The one year it took us to make the house habitable was borderline for our teens. One of them truly hated it.

[lotsofcheese]

YANBU. We've just offered on an immaculate house, which won't need any work. Have DD (11 m) & DS (4) plays DP works away part of the week. I'm about to go back to work after mat leave & we have no family support nearby. I couldn't face doing major renovations. Not in a million years....

[MadBusLady]

What a pp said about not having much time to live in the finished house - there was a bit of a sad Grand Designs that was like this. It was a spectacular woodland house being built into the side of a hill and the family were all very adventurous and outdoorsy and lived on site in a caravan. It took 5+ years by which time the eldest was entering morose teenage phase and had spent a third of her life like that. Hard to comprehend that from your 40s when 5 years' inconvenience to achieve a personal goal probably looks like a good deal.

[Bagoffrogs]

We bought a doer-upper and moved in with a 3 month old baby, the two days in which we moved in and had to instantly rip out and replace the bathroom will be a reminder forever. However, we made this decision consciously as I didn't want to return full time and hence wanted lower mortgage payments. 5 years on and it is by no means a show house but it is our home, in which I have been able to spend a lot of time in bringing up the DCs without being bankrupt. It suited us, it won't for everyone however.

[ThisSummerBetterBeDarnGood]

walls had to breathe for a year to make sure they were dried out properly really?

Humidifyer?

[ThisSummerBetterBeDarnGood]

I dont know why but I could never live on a new development.

[ThisSummerBetterBeDarnGood]

I would have agreed with you but having seen the utter bargins some friends have got and what they have done with them...I think once the work is done and you have a stunning home and money in your pocket to do stuff with the work will be long forgotton.

[theborrower]

YANBU. We moved last year. Looked at a 3 bed that would have done us for a long time, BUT it was top of our budget, was liveable but did need done up, garden was completely unusable and not secured, would have needed quite a bit spent on it, and we just didn't have the cash to do it. Would have been throwing money at the house for years.

We ended up going for a good size 2 bed, cheaper and more affordable, doesn't need anything done to it. Ok, we'll have to move again eventually, but we have a young child and both work full time, pregnant again, would never have had money or time to do somewhere up. Far less stressful this way. I think.

[MadBusLady]

Yanbu and I have done a doer-upper. Would never consider it with littlies. There isn't a massive amount of money to be saved/made in it any more unless you turn over one a year, because everyone sees the point of doer-uppers. You have to do it because you like it and want the satisfaction of a particular result.

[LurkingCinners]

We bought a wreck 1.5 years ago.
The worst thing was, everything needed to be done at once. We lived in it except for the first week (when we knocked a few walls down).

Loads of things came up once we started, for example I have knocked almost every single ceiling down myself, and then had them replastered.
There was mould on the walls due to water leak, walls had to breathe for a year to make sure they were dried out properly.

The amount of mess and dirt was incredible.
Our youngest was 3 when we bought and I must say she was very very good with all the stuff that was standing around. She never touched anything.
Looking back, I would never ever do it again.

We aren't completely finished but will be by the summer. Those 2 years were hard, but worth it. We have a house we would never have been able to afford if done up, value has gone up, and we have what we wanted and need, in the right location.

Agree it's not for everyone, and agree strongly that you have to have the funds to do the work within a reasonable timeframe, otherwise it will put strain on all relationships within the house.

[nobodysbaby]

My parents did it from when I was about 7 to about 10, I absolutely hated the disruption and the house full of strangers.

[Cakecrumbsinmybra]

I guess it depends on what you want. Some people like the input they get, rather than buying a new build. We didn't have an architect, just a very good builder and someone to draw up the plans, so we designed everything ourselves (saving £1000'ssssss), but we enjoyed it. We didn't enjoy the roof being off in the winter and sleeping in practically every room in the house on rotation, dust everywhere, not even being able to have a crap in peace, always having to talk to different tradesmen every day, etc etc, but the end result is amazing. And we're really proud of the massive transformation. Besides, a new build of the same size/style and in the same location would have cost us at least £500,000 more than we paid for our house, so for some people it's worth it financially too.