To ask about when nudity is no longer ok....

[JohnCusacksWife]

Chatting to a friend tonight and she was shocked that both my DH and I think it's ok to be naked in front of our DDs (9 & 7). We don't really shut doors in our house so they see us dressing in the morning and one of us is often in the shower while they're in the bath or vice versa. She seemed really appalled by this, although I do have to say she is a prude quite reserved. Are we unusual or doing anything wrong? Am intrigued to see if we're massively out of step with what's deemed acceptable!

[bragmatic]

My children are 7 and 8 and still get in the bath with me, and their father. They see us showering etc. I imagine it will remain that way for sometime, yet. I'm surprised that people's very young children never see them naked.

[Martorana]

We have just always had a rule that if a door is closed you knock and wait. So everyone can decide at what point they stop saying "come in" while unclothed.

Making a big deal out of it either way is the issue.

[meditrina]

She is no more a prude with issues than you are an exhibitionist with issues. Her opinion expressed privately to you is no more extreme than your opinion published openly to the world.

Different families have different attitudes to nudity. Both those described by OP are ordinary and widespread, and neither harms children.

[HappySeven]

I remember watching a programme years ago when Raj Persaud (who was the ubiquitous psychiatrist at the time) said that studies showed that children who regularly saw their parents naked started having sex later than those who didn't. He wouldn't admit whether his own kids saw him naked though.

As a child I don't remember seeing my parents naked and I was definitely a late starter when it came to sex so I don't fit into that data but I'm very happy for my kids (4 and 7) to see me. I'm going with the 'stopping when they feel uncomfortable'.

[BabyMummy29]

Having been flamed for being a prude on a similar thread recently, my children never saw me of XH naked. I just didn't see why they would need to.

Some new neighbours once said "It'll be great not to be sharing a house any more. We'll able to walk around naked any time we want to," I couldn't understand why they would want to walk around naked, but each to their own.

[DescribeTheRuckus]

I grew up with parents that were (what I thought) private in a prudish way; my mum has body image issues which she so kindly passed on to me! I'm determined not to make a big deal out of nudity stuff, so we're pretty open around here. DS is 7, DD is 6...neither of them is bothered about privacy or about DH and I being naked in their presence. Obv, we don't parade around in the all together, but we've just never made a big deal out of it!

[TheSkiingGardener]

I think probably puberty is around the time for a little more reserve from the opposite sex parent. But mainly if the kids show any sign of being uncomfortable follow their lead.

[ilovepowerhoop]

me and dh sleep naked and the kids (age 7 and 10) see us naked a lot. DD (10) is a bit more self conscious and will go to the bathroom/her bedroom to get changed but doesnt seem bothered by our nakedness.

[Weathergames]

Cover up when they start covering their eyes and saying "ewwww" when the see you naked.

HTH.

[icanmakeyouicecream]

I'm mid twenties and still see my mum naked.

[Bowlersarm]

It's fine as long as they are fine with it.

Ds aged 17 comes to chat to me still if I'm in the bath. Although he wouldn't want that to be in reverse.

[Dancergirl]

OP, it sounds like you're judging her as much as she's judging you.

So what if she gets changed under a towel? I'm ok with my family seeing me naked but I also despise communal changing rooms at the gym etc. I'm choosy who I show my naked body to.

There's no right and wrong here, it's whatever each person/family is comfortable with.

[Slapntickleothewenches]

I don't think YABU if everyone is happy about it. DS is nearly 10 and we still amble around in the nip. Only upstairs and only to the bathroom and back I should add, not going in the loft or hoovering the landing :o
He has started to become slightly more modest himself but doesn't show any sign of embarrassment at us. At the moment we do a little fake scream of shock if we happen to see a naked body and he still finds this funny. I think when he starts to not do this will be the time we will need to reassess, though part of me does think that we are not pressing our nudity on him, just carrying on about our business as normal.

[Joysmum]

For me, nudity became more difficult when I started to shave off my pubic hair. This coincided with just after DD had finished sprouting hers anyone would think I'd planned it that way! and I wanted her to learn that as she's now a young lady, she needs to learn about modesty.

So it's not a case of not feeling nudity is inappropriate, more a case of not wanting to discuss sexual preferences as she's too young for that just yet won't be too long though

[Martorana]

"I wanted her to learn that as she's now a young lady, she needs to learn about modesty."

Why?

[SaucyJack]

My DDs are the same age as yours, and none of us are fussed about nudity. Comes of living in a flat with only one toilet I s'pose.

[foreverondiet]

My dc are dd 10 Ds 3 and 7. I don't mind any of them seeing me naked although dh won't let dd see him naked. Probably will be more covered up in front of ds1 when he is 8/9 and has to change in men's changing room at swimming pool.

[missmarplestmarymead]

Totally agree, Claudius!

[WWOOWW]

When I am naked (walking from bedroom to bathroom) I shout out 'naked mum alert' - if my kids (aged 23 and 11 - both boys) don't want to see me they stay in their rooms or shut their eyes. Younger one will come and sit in the bathroom with me while i am in the bath but only if I have covered up with bubbles. I bath with the door open - don't want to see me dont look !!

[ShabbyChic8]

I think your children will show you if and when they begin to feel uncomfortable with your nudity, or theirs. I think its great that they are comfortable with it now.

[DomesticDisgrace]

God they're just bodies there's nothing to be ashamed of. I think it's really sad how uptight we're all getting.

I love the old women in swimming who just prance around without a care in the world while the young, tanned and toned young ones are trying desperately to cover up.

[Dancergirl]

God they're just bodies there's nothing to be ashamed of. I think it's really sad how uptight we're all getting

So is this your attitude to a shy child who wants privacy when getting changed?

It's not about being uptight, we're all different and what is comfortable for some isn't for others. It's about having respect for people's feelings.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

OP Each to their own regarding the level of nudity they are comfortable with, but I'd have to put a stop to any talk of it being 'dodgy'. I would have to call her on that. It crosses a line.

[thornrose]

My dad used to cross the landing from bathroom to bedroom starkers. It started to bother me a bit when I was about 12 but he was a formidable character and I couldn't possibly say anything to him about it!

A child might not be able to express their discomfort which would be my only slight concern. If everyone is happy and relaxed and communication is good then each to their own.