Okay, well, I’m now home from work after 13 hours (today did suck) and sitting with my feet up so can reply properly to all of you interesting people (rolls up sleeves).
Let’s just say it once more: I’m not a surgeon!
Next, again, I wasn’t asking anyone whether I should go to work or not. Neither was I really looking for sympathy (though that was lovely, thank you) or people telling me I was putting my babies at risk (don’t you think I have enough to deal with today?). My job doesn’t involve extreme physical exertion. I’ve changed things so that I don’t have to do too much, physically, and I can sit down a lot of the time. The twins are absolutely fine.
However, I’m going to address the peripheral issue of my going to work (or not) this morning because, to be honest, the hectoring, it’s-perfectly-obvious-you-should-call-in-sick brigade and their associated value judgements have annoyed me a bit. Not everything is as simple or as obvious as it seems. I don’t consider myself indispensible, I’m not arrogant, I’m not putting my babies at risk deliberately, I’m not irresponsible.
I’m FREELANCE.
I don’t live in the UK. There isn’t any maternity protection where I live. If I don’t work I don’t get paid. And as a self-employed mum-to-be I really need to balance feeling crap versus having money for things like prams and cots and hospital bills (our country of residence doesn’t have a social security system). Not to mention having to save for when I take three months off work when the babies are born in a country with no maternity benefit. (Before anyone starts, DH is wonderful and works 7 days a week. We’re sharing the workload. We didn’t expect to be having twins so we need to knuckle down and work a bit harder – me while I am still in any way mobile- to figure things out financially. THAT'S responsible behaviour.)
If I had "called in sick" this morning many people who had been booked (and paid) in advance to take part in a project today would have been cancelled too. That would have had a knock on effect on another related deliverable in four days time.
As an aside, there isn't anyone TO call were I to "call in sick", since I was completely in charge of the project today. I'd have had to call the project OFF.
This part of the project happens every week. As someone reasonably pointed out upthread, I can’t call in sick every single week, every time I have a bad night, putting projects in jeopardy all the time.
And CRUCIALLY, as a freelancer with a pivotal role in an ongoing series of projects, I get precisely ONE chance to cancel a bunch of people with no notice and fuck up a carefully-planned and expensive work day before my job goes to someone else.
If I had known in advance that I was going to have a bad night I could have found someone yesterday to take over for me. However at the time I posted it was 6.20 a.m. in my timezone and I was due to start work at 7 a.m. It would have been impossible to find someone to fill in for me at that time of the morning and at such short notice.
So all you judgey pants people who thought it was so bleeding obvious that I should have called in sick: I DON’T LIVE IN YOUR (COMFORTABLE) WORLD. Not everyone does. I’m doing the best for my family and our financial situation and it isn’t easy, and YES I HAD TO GO TO WORK TODAY. Call off the dogs.
The next post will address the original question.