I've posted about MIL before. Basically, I find her a very selfish person. That's fine - she's entitled to be so.
We have a 14 month old DS and a 4 week old DD. my parents are the antithesis of PILs and give us a huge amount if practical and emotional support. They are "doers". So they'll just arrive with meals and pitch in with cleaning etc. MIL sends weird passive aggressive emails saying she wants to "help" more but won't actually do anything practical. And, when she's with the DCs, isn't very good at putting their needs above hers - eg she'll have DS shrieking with hunger in his high chair whilst she has her lunch first etc.
It's MIL's 60th birthday and she wanted to have an evening meal thing. Again, she's quite entitled to have that but we felt that wouldn't be possible fir us given the age of DS in particular. And we live over a hundred miles from the PILs so it would have been a long drive home later. Staying with them isn't practical. But the main issue is that 14 month old DS needs to be in bed.
Instead, we suggested going out for lunch with the PILs as MIL always saying she wants to see the DC etc.
So it was agreed that we would travel to the PILs and take them out fir lunch. They would then have their evening do that day. Fine. We would go up and down in the day (long round trip) to facilitate this. Plus I am exclusively expressing to feed DD due to latch probs. but that's ok - it's only one day and I bought an in car charger for the expressing machine so I could sit in the car and do that.
Last night, MIL phoned DH to say that, actually, she would prefer to have her hair done in the afternoon so we would need to cancel the lunch and she would like DH to come to the evening do. The DCs and I can stay at home - ie she's not bothered about seeing them
For the avoidance of doubt, I want to be very clear that I entirely respect MIL's right to have whatever kind of celebration she wants for her birthday.
What is getting in my nerves is her self-avowed wish to see more if the DCs. Despite making no effort to come and see them and then turning down the opportunity to do so to have her hair done.
I'd quite like to say something to MIL, should the opportunity present itself, but I won't. Because at the end if the day, she's the one who choses what kind of relationship she has with the DCs.
AIBU re this
AIBU?
MIL 60th birthday - AIBU or help me get some perspective
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 18/02/2014 12:16
does DH really want to go?
what would happen if he got sick 
and couldn't make it to the dinner in the middle of nowhere with nowhere for him to stay?
A video to be played at the event...oh the temptation 
.
It would be tempting to arrange it so that it is just blank screen, voices in the background every now and then, just basically like an attempt at videoing that didn't work. 'Whose idea was this anyway, mutter mutter'...fades onto white screen, then dead silence.
Ok, I know you can't but it'd tempting!
Enjoy your nice peaceful weekend. Sounds like DH will be stuck with paying the bills again, for them, unfortunately.
And another one, I wouldn't respond OP. You made your position crystal clear to the rest of us 
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Have you not read the thread Nerfmother? Your summary is wholly inaccurate in that it misses out a massive chunk of information re the MIL's form for telling other people that her grandchildren are kept away from her when making no effort to see them herself and turning down opportunities.
TO me MN seems full of people who can't read. I agree with the poster who suggested literary comprehension lessons 
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