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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find it odd that this case has garnered more media attention?

47 replies

fideline · 13/02/2014 05:54

Guardian article here

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Balistapus · 13/02/2014 11:40

I still find it odd that there has not been more/wider coverage.

What's the story? Woman finds out different countries have different laws? Hold the front page!

I think the best way to do something about the plight of Dubai/ Saudi women is to not visit/ invest in those countries, a la apartheid in a South Africa, until they've changed the law. Something Mrs Lachaux didn't seem bothered about.

AuntieStella · 13/02/2014 11:47

Consular assistance means ensuring that Brits are being treated properly within the laws of the county in which they live.

Separately, the Government may task the FCO to lobby for better human rights, or for countries to sign up to specific international conventions etc, but that is a long slow process and its timelines simply do not match the plight of those who find themselves caught in a horrible situation under the laws of the country which they reside in or visit.

fideline · 13/02/2014 11:51

Okay, I was strangely reticent to articulate this suspicion, but I guess what I was really getting at apart from attempting to draw attention to the petition was a sneaking suspicion that there is something akin to Missing White Woman Syndrome at play here.

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babybarrister · 13/02/2014 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Balistapus · 13/02/2014 12:17

I think you're looking for prejudice where there is none. This is a non story because it's about an international family circumstance, the mother's ethnicity is irrelevant. Hundreds of British children are kidnapped and taken abroad by a parent every year, but I bet you can't name a single case, regardless of the mother's race, because it's not newsworthy.

fideline · 13/02/2014 12:24

You have to remember, the newsworthiness of something isn't determined by the legalities or the naivete of the key players etc. E.G. The Two British / NI women jailed for drug smuggling in Peru.

I suppose I am asking a journalistic question rather than a legal or moralistic one.

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fideline · 13/02/2014 12:27

There have been "expats snogging in ME taxi" stories that have attracted more coverage than this, after all

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babybarrister · 13/02/2014 13:27

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pixiepotter · 13/02/2014 13:56

Unfair it may be through western eyes, that is the law of the country she chose to live in.
Please remember that between 40 and 60% ( depnding which surveys you look at)of UK Muslims support the introduction of Sharia law in this country

EssexGurl · 13/02/2014 14:21

Big article in Evening Standard last week. So publicity is out there.

SulkingintheShrubbery · 13/02/2014 15:52

Lots of victim blaming going on here.

wannaBe · 13/02/2014 16:02

her ethnicity has nothing to do with it. and ignorance is no excuse - you go and live somewhere, then you make yourself aware of the laws of where you live.

It's a bit like these people who smuggle drugs in countries where the penalty is the death sentence and then cry "What about my human rights, I'm british, God damn it!" when they're sentenced to death. Not that it's comparable obviously but ykwim.

And nobody is saying that this particular woman deserves this but that women need to think long and hard before getting involved with someone who originates from a country where a split might mean the loss of their children/own freedoms, or at the very least should think long and hard before going to live in such a country.

As for the four year old, he's not a British national as doesn't hold a UK passport, so is therefore not within the British remit, unfortunately. Besides which it's certainly not for the British government to intervene in foreign custody cases and neither should it be.

fideline · 13/02/2014 16:07

My understanding is that the husband is a French national and that the little boy holds dual British/French nationality

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babybarrister · 13/02/2014 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fideline · 14/02/2014 00:31

"it is not just on family matters - in UAE you get sent to prison if you do not pay your mortgage etc ...."

Wow. Enlightened place all round.

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rab1010 · 14/02/2014 00:31

thankyou @fideline for posting - i just saw this because I am pretty much swamped fulltime campaigning for my mum and Louis

thank u all SO much, I cannot keep saying this enough. I actually feel bad that I only ever log in here at night to respond (just so swamped juggling campaigning and the day job!!).

I really value all the messages, kind words, signatures , and awareness raising from you all. I am touched and I actually told mum that we have quite a following on MN...She shed some tears but it makes us know that we are not along when for 3 years it felt like that.

Please continue to share and tweet etc.

New press release issues - she was found GUILTY today and she was denied a fair trial. Shocking and scary. www.echr.org.uk/?p=1184

This article in the guardian : www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/12/dubai-british-mother-kidnap-trial?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Please follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/Rabbhi

I am just trying my best and I hope that you can get behind us and help fight the battle!

Thank u all so much.

rab1010 · 14/02/2014 00:38

and just to clarify for some posters...I have a very emotive and personal stance on this (naturally).

My mum is a British citizen. Yes, it is clear she made a mistake going to Dubai (As we have now discovered). BUT the fundamental point here is that she married a DV perp which we unfortunately discovered after this all kicked off.

I wish one day I could write a book on this...

I saw the DV and abuse firsthand. I was with my mum at the police station when she tried to report the DV and the police officers told her to "shut up and go home". Yes, it is Dubai and yes, the laws are VERY different but that doesn't legitimatize violence agaisnt women. As a son it was very difficult to see- traumatic actually

Her husband started the DV shortly after she gave birth. He actually prevented my mum from getting louis a Brit passport and she was effectively trapped in the house- in the UAE you can be subjugated very easily. My mum was naive but that isn't her fault. She fell in love with what we later discovered was a documented abuser. Anyone who has an understanding of DV perps will understand how easy it is to get sucked into an awful situation- in the UAE this is exasperated.

I wish things were different but now I want to shine a light on this. Shine a light on the blatant abuse and the blatant denial of a fair trial. It is scary and upsetting (to say the least).

Hope you don't perceive this as a rant, merely my nighttime summary of a very long drawn out ordeal.

I do appreciate that people will have conflicting views on this but at it's essence this is a case of persecution. That isn;t right anywhere in the world, regardless of the laws and customs. Consider this against a backdrop of the UAE positioning itself as a bastion of progress and tourist hotspot. It is awful.

Please support me in my campaign www.freeafsana.com

Thank u all so much.

bochead · 14/02/2014 02:54

Western nationals need to boycott nations like these. Once the tourism industries and financial centres start feeling genuine pain, only then will there be any chance of change.

The more often cases like this are publicised, the more chance there is for as wide a range of women, both mothers and potential mothers to avoid the place like the plague, no matter if they have a new marriage or are about to celebrate their silver anniversary.

My sympathy in this case is all reserved for that poor little boy, who is now living with a KNOWN violent abuser. This poor innocent child is now at the total mercy of a monster, and I find that terrifying wherever in the world the situation occurs.

olidusUrsus · 14/02/2014 09:15

rab1010 you're doing amazingly - might I suggest you include a direct link to the petition in every single thing you post? I had to dig for it (even through given links) as I was taken through the Free Afsana site and had to navigate to the petition myself.

Make it easy for people! Here is a direct link short enough to get into your twitter statuses: bit.ly/MippT4.

rab1010 · 14/02/2014 17:09

Thanks for the tip olidusUrsus :)

and THANK u ALL so much

It is a shame MNHQ can't feature but I guess they have tons of requests.

Please do follow me on Twitter- If I amass enough tweeters then hopefully Foreign Office will be forced into action - it is upsetting and confusing to say the least as to why they have not done much so far. I think it is all to do with trade and perhaps the fact that my mother has been mired in such a web of cases. Very easy to do in the UAE.

We were on the BBC :
My twitter: twitter.com/Rabbhi
petition: www.avaaz.org/en/petition/The_British_Government_Work_with_Dubai_government_to_free_Afsana/?ckEeAbb

I am so appreciate for all the support, signatures and messages.

Thanks :)

babybarrister · 14/02/2014 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rab1010 · 15/02/2014 16:15

Hey babybarrister we aren't asking them to directly intervene. Just to raise the numerous issues with the UAE in order to protect my mum and brother who have endured what no one deserves to.

Please read my article and hope you can all continue to support my campaign. I just want my family home and for them to be safe- that is all.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/feb/15/my-mother-trapped-uae-nightmarish-legal-system?commentpage=1

Thanks all

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