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AIBU?

To give money to a homeless person?

116 replies

MissedSomeBullets · 10/02/2014 10:07

(Promise this isn't one of those I did something nice and I know it but want others to know too type of threads haha)

Basically on Saturday night I was out with a group of friends having a few drinks. Two of them needed to go to the cashpoint so the rest of us were waiting outside for them in the freezing cold.

A homeless man was sat nearby, I can't even begin to imagine how hard living like that must be but in this current freezing temperatures it must make it that much worse.

I said I'm just going to give some change to that guy when my friend said no because he'll just use it to buy drugs.

Now I'm not naive but I wouldn't make a sweeping generalisation about a group of people that like. Whilst its better to give directly to a charity, I would chance it now and again that the money I give could be the difference of someone having a hot drink or bed for the night.

Aibu to give money?

OP posts:
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limitedperiodonly · 10/02/2014 15:37

YY NigellasDealer

I have little knowledge of addiction - apart from my own self-medication on wine - but I was shocked that a functioning (and growing less so) alcoholic friend decided to go cold turkey and was seriously ill in hospital in about 36 hours.

I was told that that alcohol is different to other drugs. Not necessarily less dangerous, but different.

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AmberLeaf · 10/02/2014 16:19

The council will house anybody that is truly homeless

That really isn't true.

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limitedperiodonly · 10/02/2014 16:56

The council will house anybody that is truly homeless

Eh?

Who said that?

Either they're Panglossian or taking the piss or perhaps the Daily Mail.

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frogwatcher42 · 10/02/2014 17:34

The council does. If you present as homeless you will be given a room/roof. They do not put you back on the street.

Round here anyway.

As I have said earlier - I can only talk for round here but having put people through the system it is certainly the case in this authority.

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frogwatcher42 · 10/02/2014 17:40

Oops. I see my mistake. I didn't mean that the council will physically house somebody all of the time. What I meant was that they will help you find a place to live. That may be a private landlord or shelter - but it will be a roof over the head.

I thought they all had to legally - they can't put people back on the streets. Our local council is good.

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nevermindthecat · 10/02/2014 17:47

Homeless people don't wander around in a permanent state of starvation, you know! I don't even like hot drinks very much: would rather have a can of Coke.

I'm torn here because it does feed a habit I don't approve of and that incidentally makes the streets a dangerous place for all of us. But on the other hand there is something utterly soul destroying about being given a bag of chips - bit like food vouchers for benefit claimants.

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nevermindthecat · 10/02/2014 17:48

Frog - they won't, you know!

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AmberLeaf · 10/02/2014 20:15

I think two posters have said similar [the council will house you if you are homeless]

That really is utter bollocks.

I expect whoever said that has little to no experience of being homeless/social housing, but I am not surprised at some people thinking homeless people 'choose' to be homeless if that is their understanding of how it all works.

Trust me, it is really not that easy to get a roof over your head, it is also harder for some people than others. Single adults [especially men] with no dependant children don't have a chance on the whole.

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haveyourselfashandy · 10/02/2014 20:37

I always give change to any homeless person I walk past and there's a few where I live! It drives my DP mad and he always spouts some shit about how the money will go on smack,drink and the like.I don't care what they spend it on as long as it helps them get through the night in this weather.
I don't see anything wrong with offering food or drink but I can't bring myself to ask them,I don't know why I just feel stupid iyswim.A man did once ask me for one of my greggs sausage rolls and I gave one to him and his dog the cheeky swine.I also gave him some change and made him promise me he would by some dog food!

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haveyourselfashandy · 10/02/2014 20:38

I was a teenager then so it was a few year's ago now.

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NewBeginings · 10/02/2014 23:48

The council will only provide a roof if you are considered to be in 'priority need' eg particularly vulnerable. Otherwise they just give advice but that might include pointing you in the direction of a shelter.
If the council could house everyone who is homeless we probably wouldn't be having this discussion!

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MissedSomeBullets · 11/02/2014 00:07

Returning to this thread quite late. I just wanted to point out in the situation I was in there were not any places close by selling food/hot drinks (due to how late it was and there being no vendors).

So it was pretty much ignore him or give him money. I chose to give him money. I will never know how he spent it.

I think my friend can be narrow minded at times and probably doesn't consider that people are made homeless for numerous reasons. I think giving aid overseas is a fantastic and worthy cause but I do wish more was done in terms of helping our own.

OP posts:
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Caitlin17 · 11/02/2014 00:35

I give money fairly regularly, specially if someone has an animal. I'm in the camp of it's not for me to tell you how to spend your money.

I'm also guilty of £10/£20 at Christmas, and on one occasion €20 on the way home from an office party. I had opened my purse in front of the person to discover I had nothing in it bar euros. In the most awful Lady Bountiful mode I suggested he could spend it at Marks & Spencers.

I don't buy food but will buy things like cakes/sweets/dried fruit from places like Pret a Manger . I bought a couple who clearly were alcoholics Green & Black easter eggs. They seemed really touched by it.

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Misspixietrix · 11/02/2014 07:50

It really isn't as simple as that. For one the council hasn't got enough properties to rehouse everyone. They have a responsibility to under 16s in A way not to adults. I know of two adults in the last few months that have had to sleep in the car because the Hostels were full and Funnily enough walking into a Council didn't make much of a difference to their situation. Caitlin Grin at Lady Bountiful way. I always think they remember stuff like this though. I couldnt begin to imagine what an awful existence it must be :(

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HelloBoys · 11/02/2014 09:42

I'm now torn between the obviously needy (I don't care if my money supports their drug habit, none of my business) and the career type. If you can call them that.

All I can say is the last person I bought a hot drink and muffin for seemed grateful, I asked her if she wanted a drink, she said what she wanted, I got her a proper coffee rather than instant from cafe (no Starbucks) and even tho she didn't want food got her a muffin and said if you don't eat it give it to someone else.

She really didn't look like she wanted to be sitting on the pavement all day.

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Caitlin17 · 11/02/2014 17:40

Agreed Pixie the council's obligations are for the bare minimum. This might be night shelters where people are kicked out in the morning and not let back in.

Just think , have any of you been in the situation where you've locked yourself out but someone will be home to let you in in a few hours time. On a nice sunny day with money in your pocket it's fine, if it's cold and wet and you have no spare cash to sit in a café or pub those few hours drag and drag. Then imagine every day being like that.

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