To give money to a homeless person?

[MissedSomeBullets]

(Promise this isn't one of those I did something nice and I know it but want others to know too type of threads haha)

Basically on Saturday night I was out with a group of friends having a few drinks. Two of them needed to go to the cashpoint so the rest of us were waiting outside for them in the freezing cold.

A homeless man was sat nearby, I can't even begin to imagine how hard living like that must be but in this current freezing temperatures it must make it that much worse.

I said I'm just going to give some change to that guy when my friend said no because he'll just use it to buy drugs.

Now I'm not naive but I wouldn't make a sweeping generalisation about a group of people that like. Whilst its better to give directly to a charity, I would chance it now and again that the money I give could be the difference of someone having a hot drink or bed for the night.

Aibu to give money?

[Latara]

Honeysweet I don't know, I don't think they can be that stupid hopefully.

As well as the Roma gangs there are groups of English homeless men who sell the Big Issue and pool the money on drink and drugs here. They hang out on the cliff tops and on the beach area. You get to recognise faces after a while!

These groups of men aren't interested in getting into shelters or hostels because they do drink and do drugs. The shelters tend to be run by church groups who don't like drink and drugs on the premises so it's better for the men to hang out in groups and do what they want.

There are genuine Big Issue sellers too they tend to be smarter dressed and will say what their aims in life are; I met one at the local shops.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

YANBU.

It's your money and you can give it as you see fit.

Presented with a real person in front of you in need you did the caring thing.

The money was given as an act of kindness,and it is up to the recipient to allocate it according to their most urgent need.

I am so fed up with people who have always 'had' moralising about the have-nots.Just because we have roofs over our heads and a meal at the end of the day,it doesn't make us any the better person than those who do not.

It just makes us luckier.

If you get scammed every so often,it's better,surely, than doing nothing for others in need.

[Latara]

Sometimes there are women who hang out with these groups, one of them used to sell the Big Issue in town for years and was always with the same group of homeless men, she told my mum she was hoping to get off the streets one day and away from that lifestyle.

She isn't around any more... hopefully she's made it and nothing bad has happened to her.

[littlebluedog12]

I always buy the big issue as I know the big issue has rules about sellers not being under the influence of drugs/alcohol and they have a good outreach programme, so by buying the big issue you are genuinely helping someone improve their life (and it is a good read).

Reluctantly, I don't give money to beggars anymore, after reading what homeless charities have said about it. But I do offer to buy them a hot drink/sandwich if I can.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Latara correct most shelters do not allow alcohol on the premises (and obviously nothing illegal), I've only known one that allowed alcohol and that was only over xmas. We will keep guest's alcohol safe overnight and return it in the morning. If they want to drink they have to leave the shelter, and once a guest has left (after 11pm) they are not allowed to return that night - there have been occasions where addicts have woken in the early hours with withdrawal shakes, and had to leave to drink. However over this winter, I think we have got 4 or 5 individuals into residential detox programs.

[MoominIsGoingToBeAMumWaitWHAT]

I give change to homeless people; I can't force them to spend it on hot food/a hot drink, I can't force them into a shelter or a treatment programme, I can't force them to take any steps that could change their life.

But if the change I give gets them something - even if it is alcohol or drugs, to stave of withdrawal which could kill them - that will get them through another night, that's another night and another day where potentially, someone with more information and resources could come along and help them.

That's the way I look at it, anyway. Giving someone a Big Mac isn't going to help them if they're suffering from withdrawal.


I don't buy the Big Issue in my town though because the woman is very open about the fact that she owns a massive home and bought her last of several expensive cars in cash. In other towns I would if I saw sellers, but I won't buy from her on principle.

[Shallishanti]

I always feel bad that I don't buy the Big Issue- but I really don't want it !
If I have food etc on me I sometimes offer , or will buy stuff for people (not as often as I should)
I think we should learn from the people here who have some expertise it's not 'show compassion by giving money' OR 'judge people as feckless and ignore their needs'
A friend told me once what her friend did, which I thought a good idea- every day he would make his own lunch (a sandwich etc) and the make a second lunch. Then he would give the 2nd lunch to whoever he came across begging. Very little time or expense involved but a big impact on whoever received it.

[Latara]

I think that homeless people tend to have many issues to start with that stop them getting off the streets - because there are ways to get off the streets if you want it badly enough.
For example drink, drugs, a bad upbringing eg. in the care system where you aren't prepared for life, or serious mental health issues where you can't cope with life stop people from getting off the streets.
These issues are what need dealing with, and the help is there but those at rock bottom have to want the help sadly.

I worked with a homeless man in a factory before I did nursing; the managers knew he was homeless and he'd got the job after walking into an employment agency (there are places in town where homeless people can shower and wash their clothes).
Several lads at the factory lived on other peoples' sofas. Some had prison records but they'd still got the jobs.
They were earning good wages so they'd soon be in their own place.

Now I work with lots of immigrants in the hospital - many came here sharing beds / rooms in the worst parts of town where the 'down and outs' live. The difference is that these immigrants don't do drink or drugs, they look smart and want to work hard. They buy everything at car boot sales and live cheaply. They start off doing the worst jobs with employment agencies and graduate up as their English improves. They end up getting their own flats.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

I'd rather not enable it either, but while we are waiting for a system that helps people to not get to that point and which actually helps all those at that point, what do you do? Assume that everyone will use money for drugs/alcohol and that their use is at a problem level and give no money based on those assumptions? So that people can't eat, are even more desperate and more and more of them resort to stealing or prostitution?

I wouldn't feel any better about myself for denying possibly someone getting drugs not when I might actually be denying them getting a meal.

I don't trust you to take this money and spend it wisely, so I will provide actual food for you. Seems really demeaning for people who are already demeaned on a daily basis.

There's no 'win' here. There's no right thing to do that has a guaranteed positive outcome for all. Not while there is nothing substantial in place to actually help people. We need more input into child services, we need more help for troubled teens. We need more provision for mh services. etc etc etc.

It shouldn't get to the point where people are on the streets. But until that changes, what are the choices? If someone wants a sandwich, I'll get them a sandwich. If someone wants a coffee, I'll give them a coffee. If someone wants a quid for the phone/a coffee/some juice/whatever, I'll give them a quid. I'm not going to look at someone and assume they're a drug or alcohol abuser and they're lying to me. If I could give money to a charity that guaranteed to ensure that each and every homeless person was fed every day and that that would be done not in a lady bountiful way but as every person's right, then I would be the first one there with my bank details!

and in the meantime I'll carry on shouting out for changes with my one tiny insignificant little voice and hope that enough people are shouting too so that eventually it will be remembered by those with the power to change things these are human beings!

[ToBeSure]

I never, ever give money but have given food or drink. I think it's better to volunteer or give to homeless charities rather than individuals.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Here's the nationwide version of NSNO:

www.streetlink.org.uk/tell-us-about-a-rough-sleeper

If anyone is concerned about any individual on the streets. No a Big Mac is not going to stave off withdrawal; but the next hit could kill them, or lead to them dying from exposure. I'm not saying that to be dramatic, it is the (very sad) reality that has happened to people that I have met and had previously worked with in the shelter.

[Latara]

Sorry I meant to say, I live in a seaside town where many people come from other areas to claim benefits and detox here because if your homeless it's nicer to be homeless by the sea basically.

The local CMHT is overloaded with patients and the town has many detox centres and outreach agencies for people with drug and alcohol problems and needle exchanges - there is a lot of help available for homeless people and addicts should they want it.

[Latara]

The town hall is where the homeless people go to get help with housing / shelters and they give out all the information for help they need but many don't use it for a variety of reasons.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

There are a lot of people shouting IShiver; but your one tiny little insignificant voice would be more powerful joining in the chorus with the established homelessness organisations; whom pretty much all, AFAIAA, would say that giving money in the street isn't a great idea on the whole. As to what do I do; as I've written - I give or offer to buy food/drink; I will contact NSNO to help get people a bed for that night; I volunteer my own time fortnightly to help run a local shelter; I also donate food/clothing to the shelter; and money to a national charity that campaigns on the issue.

[limitedperiodonly]

I live in Westminster in a very touristy area so we get a lot of street sleepers for lots of reasons.

1. it's warm and sheltered;
   
2. There's safety and companionship in numbers;
   
3. There are soup runs and good begging opportunities so we get a lot of commuter beggars.
   

Westminster has a campaign against soup runs and another against giving people money because they attract commuters.

I had some sympathy with it because some beggars, but hardly any of them, can be pests but mostly because the people doing the soup runs can be insufferably saintly without regard to the problems they cause to residents.

Anyway, one afternoon I was punched in the face by a homeless person who was angrily confronting passers-by. I tried to dodge him but failed.

When talking to the police about it, through my broken nose, I was slightly pissed off when the officer said: 'Oh dear. He was probably angry because we'd been round about an hour before and poured their drinks down the drain.'

That's another Westminster campaign with the Met Police. Fucking genius, eh?

I'd have preferred the police to arrest him if he was causing a problem but otherwise just to leave him to quietly self-medicate and not get so angry that he assaulted me.

They didn't catch my assailant. They didn't even bother. But they did send me a generic letter advising me that as a victim of crime I might like to access counselling.

I haven't seen him since. He's either dead or in prison. I don't much care.

But I would say that if you want to give, give it unconditionally - I've given pet food recently because my cat is a fussy little bugger and I guessed correctly that the person's dog wasn't.

But making high-minded judgements about what is good for people is wrong and can backfire on others in ways you hadn't thought of.

[frogwatcher42]

And certainly round here there is food available, and a shower or emergency bed, support and medical help. The homeless people know where to go as there are charity groups who support and help and go out at night. Councils will house the homeless too. I know this may not be the case in all towns or areas but a lot of these centres are not publicised in the wider community because of local residents making a fuss so you may not be aware of the help that is around - certainly I wasn't until I did some work at the shelter (which itself doesn't signpost itself and looks like a normal house).

What upsets me is the massive rise in professional begging where the public get dupped into giving money to a 'homeless' person who actually makes a LOT of money and goes home to their house and comfortable lifestyle. It takes money from the truly in need, means that some people give their own money to somebody who is much better off than them, and can turn the public against helping the true homeless. This does appear to be a massively growing problem round here.

I do think it better to give food, drink and support a shelter personally.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

At no point did I ask you as an individual, or anyone, what they do.

I find that kind of question to be arrogant in the extreme and would never presume to demand that sort of information.

When I said "what do you do?" it was not asking you the question what do you do. It was part of the sentence before it and a different way of saying what does one do?

[limitedperiodonly]

Apologies for not reading the thread. Maybe someone else has mentioned that selling the Big Issue is a passport to self-employed status giving the seller an NI number and access to other benefits.

Therefore it is strictly controlled round here by what appear to me to be quite nasty gangs so I don't buy it.

I reserve the right to give money, pet food and cigarettes - if I smoked - to anyone who touched my heart and not my nose.

[frogwatcher42]

And with our shelter, the 'residents' or users of it do not have to stay and so the very dependent are not excluded. They can come, eat, shower, get support, needle exchange and then go back out to drink or use if they need to. At least they go out with a fully belly and sometimes cleaner than they come in.

The church groups also take some food to the streets on cold nights too.

[Honeysweet]

www.streetlink.org.uk/about-rough-sleeping
Good link.

NigellasDealer. With respect and because no one really knows anyone on here, is there a reason that you call yourself Dealer?

[Honeysweet]

limitedperiod. I thought, perhaps wrongly, that The Big Issue was reputable, and know what is going on, and deal with situations quickly?

[NigellasDealer]

no I not a drug dealer.
I have however bought a shaking alcoholic some drink, as I did not wish to have to deal with them dying in my vicinity.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

ive worked on a drug and alcohol impatient ward and yes ive given money to homeless people.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

ISeeYouShiver apologies if you felt I was accusing you of being arrogant and misunderstanding your post. Although I guess by explaining the things that I do personally, as someone who cares quite a bit about homelessness, gives an idea as to what one can do.

[limitedperiodonly]

honeysweet, latara raised the issue of gangs controlling the selling of the Big Issue. I don’t know. I’ve heard of it, and also of the route to self-employed status, which is, in fairness, legitimate, if it’s truly legitimate.

What stopped me buying was seeing a very charming and friendly one-time seller of non-British origin, who I’d always bought from, threaten another seller. It was ugly and looked to me very much like he’d moved up a rung and become a gang-master.

But that’s in my area. I don’t know about yours.

Meanwhile I’ll continue to give money, pet food and gloves, thick tights and socks – I was having a clear out the other day.

I’m holding on to my tampons atm. I am a woman of a certain age and don’t know whether I might still need them. I’m also a bulk buyer, so one day some woman is going to luck in a big way. As she should. But also, she shouldn't have to.

Because being given tampons by some Lady Bountiful is shameful in our Big Society.

I am ashamed that we have come to this and that so many people think that this is okay.