To give money to a homeless person?

[MissedSomeBullets]

(Promise this isn't one of those I did something nice and I know it but want others to know too type of threads haha)

Basically on Saturday night I was out with a group of friends having a few drinks. Two of them needed to go to the cashpoint so the rest of us were waiting outside for them in the freezing cold.

A homeless man was sat nearby, I can't even begin to imagine how hard living like that must be but in this current freezing temperatures it must make it that much worse.

I said I'm just going to give some change to that guy when my friend said no because he'll just use it to buy drugs.

Now I'm not naive but I wouldn't make a sweeping generalisation about a group of people that like. Whilst its better to give directly to a charity, I would chance it now and again that the money I give could be the difference of someone having a hot drink or bed for the night.

Aibu to give money?

[Topaz25]

Iseeyoushiverwithantici
Are you talking to me? Because I actually said that I don't assume everyone on the streets has a drug or drink problem.

[Dahlen]

If you only intend to give money to the homeless if it is going to be spent on improving their lives or helping get them out of that situation, the point is being missed somewhat.

Many people are homeless because they are no longer capable of making decisions in their best interests. They may never get off the streets, despite all the help in the world.

They still deserve a little human kindness IMO.

Homelessness is a very complex problem. In a way it epitomises the idea of the deserving and undeserving poor. I always think the best way to deal with that particular notion is to realise that it is a stupid demarcation. 'Choosing' to live on the streets is not generally a choice made by happy, high-functioning, well-supported individuals who have other options, however voluntary their choice may seem.

Who cares for those who have given up caring for themselves? Surely that's the mark of truly altruistic giving. It doesn't have the feel-good factor of reports of your adopted child adopted in Somalia or Big Issue success stories though.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

Yes, I was replying to your first post. At the time your other posts were not there.

[Honeysweet]

It is not kindness to give an alchoholic, alchohol, or a drug addict, drugs, unless they are dying.

[Underthemountain]

bbv story on this

[Underthemountain]

BBC!

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

I would imagine that in this context, 'kindness' means compassion and understanding, not 'being kind', iyswim. human kindness v kindness.

It's not kindness to leave people to starve or freeze on the streets either. But that is apparently state approved judging by the distinct lack of adequate support and resources available to those whose lives have utterly crumbled, whereas understanding the human need for comfort and escape while in a totally hopeless situation is somehow frowned upon.

If adequate support was there before people reached this point, how many would ever reach it, I wonder?

[NigellasDealer]

It is not kindness to give an alchoholic, alchohol
actually yes it is or they could have a heart attack from withdrawal.

[Honeysweet]

On the basis of your post NigellasDealer, an alchoholic should never stop drinking

[Honeysweet]

ISee. Wouldnt you rather help them than help them to carry on the way they are?

[NigellasDealer]

no honeysweet, alcohol withdrawal should be done in a clinic or under medical supervision. If you had ever seen a true alcoholic with full body shakes, you would get them a bottle of their preferred tipple i can assure you.

[Latara]

The dilemma I have is that our local Big Issue sellers are part of a Roma gang - if I buy the Big Issue off the girls who sell it then the money is not likely to end up in their pockets but in the gang's.

The girls are out in all weathers, they look poorly dressed but they get the bus somewhere after their 'shifts' and have mobile phones - their clothes never improve even though they seem to sell lots of magazines.

I just don't think they see the money they earn for the gang.
They obviously stay somewhere and would be better off getting a job with an employment agency in a care home or cleaning like the other immigrants I know have done - as their English has really improved.

I always used to buy the Big Issue from them but now I realise they are working for a gang I'd prefer to buy them a hot drink If I thought they'd want it.

[HelloBoys]

I've given homeless people coffees, food (breakfast bagel and muffin) in past. Sometimes if I have enough money I give them the change eg if I spend £5 note.

My SIL has got into a friendship with a homeless woman near where she lives and walks past on her way to train station. So far she's bought her toothbrush and paste, gloves and given her a jumper.

At this time of the year you have no idea why they're on the street - abuse, etc, in care in past and you should not judge.

[NigellasDealer]

I would not bother with big issue - the vast majority of them have more secure housing than i do tbh.

[sonlypuppyfat]

I used to work in a small newsagents and beggars used to come and change up what they had made, and they made a lot far more than I was earning. And also where I worked it was at the base of a block of flats and thats where most of them lived.

[Latara]

Also there is a group of local 'down and out' lads who sit in the same place begging for change - they too work 'shifts' and swap places every few hours.

One is in a wheelchair and I happen to recognise him from the local hospital and he hangs around with homeless or vulnerably housed men so I guess he is one of those as well.

I also happen to know they are addicts so I don't give them money - they do get benefits (so do I so I'm not judging) again I'd rather give them a hot drink if I had one.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

both.

As a 'issue' - that of homelessness and the factors that lead up to it - I would like to see much more done and will and do help with that as much as I can by contributing to organisations that are trying to help and support people and raise awareness.

on an individual level - it does the individual sleeping on the streets tonight not one bit of good to be denied that tiny bit of escape if escape is what they crave because people have some sort of Grand Plan for homelessness as an issue or think that by denying someone a few quid they can somehow save them or compel them to 'save themselves'.

Assuming of course that that person happened to be someone who actually took drugs or was an alcoholic and wasn't one of the many people on the streets who have hit rock bottom for any one of countless reasons and the few quid you could have given but won't just in case they would buy beer with it would have filled their belly tonight.

[Latara]

My sister's friend is a local policeman; they do check on all the rough sleepers in town.

First they check that they are ok; sadly they have to often 'move them on' from tourist locations; lastly they do a check on who these people actually are.

It often turns out that they are on the run from the police in other towns; one beggar was actually a wanted murderer!

My sister's friend used to give them change when he moved them on until the other police told him they spend it on drugs / drink; then he bought one of the men a coffee and he promptly got it literally thrown back in his face. That is why I don't buy homeless people drinks without asking.

[Honeysweet]

Nigellas. But they are not going to go to a clinic if they can get money to get booze are they?
They need to be helped medically, not hindered.

[Honeysweet]

Latara. Do the Big Issue management know about what is happening in your area?

[Honeysweet]

Do the Big Issue sellers with secure housing rely on the money they make from selling The Big Issue?

[NigellasDealer]

Nigellas. But they are not going to go to a clinic if they can get money to get booze are they?
They need to be helped medically, not hindered
eventually that is their choice which they will take regardless of whether alcohol is available or not -

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

I volunteer regularly at a local homeless shelter and it has totally transformed how I treat people I walk past on the street or meet on the tube etc. I definitely don't give money, but I will often stop if I have time and either offer food I have (I usually have some kind of snack in my bag) or invite them to the nearest place to get a coffee/hot food (McD's or whatever) if they need it. If someone doesn't want to engage with me or if after chatting it's clear that they don't know where/how to find a shelter, then I will call No Second Night Out (0870 3833333) on their behalf and an outreach worker will try to find them and help them, and personally that is what I would urge people to do if they are concerned about individuals on the street (in London at least, don't know if it's elsewhere as well). On two occasions this has meant the person has waited to meet an outreach worker and within a few hours has a bed somewhere for that night, and is engaging with services to help them. NSNO let you know if they were able to find the person you were calling about.

Personally I would rather help address immediate needs (food, shelter) and help link someone to the services available to support them, than give money enabling the situation to continue. Getting someone into the shelter system doesn't magically solve all the complex reasons that they have ended up where they are in the first place, but it's a start.

[frogwatcher42]

Surely you are better off giving the money to a homeless shelter for them to use.

I did some work with a shelter for a while. The true homeless in our town have very complicated reasons for being on the streets and do not want to take a home that is offered to them. The council will house anybody that is truly homeless, and we have an excellent scheme that helps them too. The people living on the streets now in our small town are mostly there through choice (I wouldn't say definately all as it can vary as people come and go) and they go to the shelter for a shower and a hot meal etc then go back to the street. There is a needle exchange and help available. They are mainly drinkers or addicts though and money given to them goes on that.

Alternatively there are some people who claim to be homeless, make a LOT of money and then go home to their house for a good sleep. They do very well out of it.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

ISeeYouShiver it does the individual sleeping on the streets tonight not one bit of good to be denied that tiny bit of escape if escape is what they crave because people have some sort of Grand Plan for homelessness as an issue or think that by denying someone a few quid they can somehow save them or compel them to 'save themselves'.
I completely understand this argument and used to make it myself, and absolutely I agree that it is inappropriate to judge rough sleepers for turning to alcohol/narcotics in order to help escape their situation - most homeless people with dependency issues developed them whilst on the streets rather than the other way around I believe. However the reality is that people die on the street because of it, and I'd rather not enable that.