Things that happened at my son's birthday party

[MauriceMinor]

Typical pre-school party at a little soft-play centre.

Halfway through one child rushes out of the play cage and is sick in a bin. His mother and several other parents sort him out, wipe up, change his clothes etc - then he rushes back in to play as if nothing happened.

His mother drags the bin over to the entrance to the play cage in case he needs it again. Which he does, five minutes later. People are looking a bit wtf at this point and I am pretending I don't see it as I don't want to get wound up. In total the boy is sick three times in the bin - the bin which we are using right next to the food table - and goes back in to play each time.

He looked dreadful, but was cheerful enough so she said it was a shame to spoil his fun. AIBU to think if your child pukes at a party, you take them home? At one point she had half the parents helping her wipe the floor and change his clothes. People treat her very kindly (myself included) because her son has mild autism and she is a single parent managing completely alone. I have extended huge empathy and friendship towards her. But I really think letting him throw up three times, very publicly, at my child's party is more than a bit off.

What do you reckon?

Also - this is weird too I think: at the end of the party, one parent (who I barely know) started cutting down the balloons and handing them out to children. After she had cut down the balloons provided by the soft-play people she started on our own helium balloons which had been sent to DS as a present from his granny for his party. They were in a bunch of 5 by the food table and were obviously our own. DH had to ask her not to but by then children were literally queuing up for their "take-home balloon".

That's weird, no? And grabby?

As I'm on a roll - one more thing: there was an older child there, looked about 8/9, I have no idea who she came with and didn't manage to ask. It was really odd as the equipment was clearly for little ones. I let it go but at the end the people running the place handed out the party bags and she took one! A bag filled with bits of things for toddlers!

AIBU to think all this is most peculiar behaviour? Or have I just not been to enough parties to know any better?

[He11y]

She emailed you at 3am to say her child has been throwing up all night?

Why didn't you ask one of the staff to intervene if you didn't feel able? You only have yourself to blame if you stood back and let him hug your child after throwing up and probably having spores on him!

It's odd you have two parents bold enough to take balloons and sneak in an extra child, but they didn't speak up either. They seem the sort that would, especially balloon lady!

Glad your son enjoyed it though.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

I'm trying to be charitable that the balloon woman was trying to help (lots of places do give away a balloon at the end; and it can be a bit frantic trying to get everyone out and returned to their parents before your allocated time is up, and it's annoying when parents just stand their and watch you doing everything).

The mother of the vomiting child was out of order, and someone should have told her that after the second incident, if not the first.

The extra child is really not uncommon - worth putting very explicitly on the invite if siblings etc are allowed or not.

I still maintain that nothing good can come of soft play and they are the devil's own work

Hope the vomiting bug doesn't go around your family, OP.

[Rooners]

Be prepared OP that other families will probably blame you if their children get sick.

I hate to say it but it was your responsibility to ask her to leave with her child after the first incident, and I completely get why you didn't, but still, it wasn't going to be possible for anyone else to say anything so that comes down to the host I'm afraid.

I am sure you feel upset enough already though without me saying that!

But next time - do something.

I would have taken my children home if that had happened at a party we were at. I removed my smallest from a party last year when a child obviously had chicken pox - I didn't say anything as it wasn't my place to, but it was summer so we left the building, I let my older one stay as he had already had it.

I hope that no one is ill but it sounds like it's almost inevitable.

[Tailtwister]

The ill child should have been taken home immediately. It's completely unacceptable to have a child who is throwing up and clearly unwell playing around other children.

The balloon thing...a bit odd, but maybe she was trying to help? She should have asked you first though and definitely not tried to give away the helium ones.

The older child is just a fact of life at parties nowadays, especially soft play ones. Parents are often single handed and have to bring older siblings with them and if their party child is young they might not feel ready to leave them.

Parties are stressful. DS had his on saturday and although it went well I was surprised at the behaviour of some of the children. Even the party organiser commented on how grabby one in particular was.

[CuntyBunty]

You need nicer friends. That's all.

[tyaca]

Feel sorry for mum-of-puker, but she should have taken him home.

Balloon woman doesn't sound grabby at all . Sounds like she was just pitching in to help tbh. I have often seen softplay venues hand out balloons to party kids, but i have never heard of a birthday child receiving special party balloons - so I'm not sure how she was meant to distinguish between the two types of balloons?

[Rooners]

I really dislike children's parties in any case. I think they are really bad for children quite often - like some kind of herd instinct takes over. It's viewed as a legitimate reason to behave badly for a lot of them - euqating 'special day' with 'do what you want'.

Watching a party the other week for 11yo children and a balloon fight causing much noise and disruption, and no one said anything, and then a solitary parent wandering around after it had stopped picking up the broken balloon pieces...as though it would 'spoil things' to make the children clear up their own mess...it seemed quite poignant to me.

Maybe I am an old misery though I have always hated the idea of people clearing up after other people's wanton decadence..!

[LucyLasticBand]

the mother of the vomiting boy sounds batty. you really should have asked her to take him home, did no other motehrs think that at the time?
she should ahve taken him home. i spose she thought it was nerves or excitement.

[Only1scoop]

Yanbu....never ceases to amaze me how necky or some people are.
The puking just awful....3 times ....should have taken him home.

The balloons helpful or not....should have checked with you first.

Random 8yo turning up .... Should have checked with you

Like you say....ds had a great time....I guess that's all that matters

Hope you don't all get sick

[Crowler]

Vile. It doesn't matter if the child is autistic, he spreads sick bugs all the same.

[Mellowandfruitful]

This happened recently at a party my DS was at - child (who happens to have SN) vomited, mum took her home straight away. That's definitely what should have happened for you.

Balloon woman - weird! One of those people who just has to 'help'

Sibling - afraid it's very common, would have let one instance go.

[Kittymalinky]

Re the vomiting - I teach a no so little anymore lad who vomits whenever he gets over excited.

Class parties are alway accompanied with a sick bin for him. He eats, gets super excited, throws up and carries on as normal. He also had mild ASD so could be something like that rather than a bug.

Other things - very weird

[Katnisscupcake]

OMG - that would have been my idea of hell !!

I have a vomiting phobia (phobia of me catching it as opposed to seeing it IYSWIM), so if my DD had been at that party, I would have made our excuses and left if there was a child being sick - no way I would have risked it!!

If it had been DD's party I would have asked the woman to take the child home. When vomiting is involved it's the only time I am brave and would enter into (potentially) a confrontational situation...

Poor you!!

[3littlefrogs]

I had a party for dd in a church hall with entertainer etc.
Several mums brought older siblings and stayed gossiping throughout the whole party while their older kids ran riot opening the party bags and throwing things around.
Never again.
I think some people have no concept of how to behave.

[Trazzletoes]

Kitty the child's mum has contacted the OP to say he has a bug as he has been throwing up all night.

It's because of parents like that that I don't feel I can take my immuno-compromised child to soft play or play groups etc. I just can't trust that other parents will keep an obviously sick child at home so MY DS has to lose out.

She should have had the common sense to take her child home. As she didn't, someone (whether that's the OP or play staff or whoever) should have told her to leave.

[Crowler]

I agree with Katnisscupcake I would have been out of there like a shot. I am vomit phobic.

[pigletmania]

Yanbu at all, no excuse that Chid should have been taken home straight away, the staff informed about te bin so it could be removed to recent further contamination. I personally would not have been so restrained, I woud ave told her by the second time to take him home as he's obviously not well, and I would gave asked the staff to sanitise the bin. I hate selfish parents lie this, yes dd 6 has Autism, as soon as this apened she would be straight home after te first incident.

[WipsGlitter]

I think balloon woman was probably trying to help. It can be v chaotic at the end and most parties I've been to give out the balloons at the end.

[pigletmania]

Yes I am an emetophobe too, I certainly would have told te mother

[pigletmania]

The boy looked unwell too, sohome it shoud have been

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

I'm glad I'm not the only person to think the balloon thing is not that weird.

Kids like balloons, and balloons at parties like that tend to get popped after everyone leaves so it's a waste anyway. May as well let children take them home. No she shouldn't have gone after the helium balloons, but perhaps she assumed that they were going to waste just the same. If there weren't enough balloons, then she hadn't thought it through but you can't fault her for trying to help IMO.

Sibling is fairly normal and at least it sounded like they were well behaved and also normal (ish) to provide party bags for siblings even if age inappropriate (I'd say 50/50 at parties I've been to? Some just have generic spares in case of extras)

Puking kid's mum was out of order especially if it was out of character.

[pigletmania]

The balloon thing would have pissed e off but not as badly as te puking boy not being taken home straightaway, you have just heard he's been throwing up all night, so obviously a bug

[endlesstidying]

Vomiting child - should either have not been there in the first place (had he already vomited) or have been taken home as soon as it was clear there was a problem.

Balloons - Another parent trying to be helpful but goes a bit far and makes a mistake. We always give out balloons at our parties what else are you meant to do with them? If another mum handed them out I'd be relieved. She should have checked with you about helium ones though. I think other parents can make or break a party. There's so much to do and if someone is prepared to pour the drinks, slice the cake, run about with plates of sandwiches etc. life is easier for everyone

Sibling - normal surprised you only got one. we had at least half a dozen at dd's last birthday party (they move quickly hard to count them!) IMHO opinon its a good lesson for our children in mixing with different ages groups and showing courtesy to people who aren't necessarily our friends. That said we tend to have dd's birthday parties at home or use a community hall partly for this reason. I do know the extra cost at a cost per head party is prohibitive for most people. Was the sibling added to the bill OP or did she just have some sandwiches and a party bag?

[Nanny0gg]

Is it because I'm old?

Speak to these people!

I know you were shocked/surprised at the behaviour, but I would have given the benefit of the doubt for the first vomiting imcident, and then asked he be taken home after the second.

I would have marched straight over to the balloon woman and asked her to stop, as a) first balloons weren't mine and b) second balloons were my DC's. (Did she leave the special balloons alone, when told? Or did your DC miss out?).
Older child? I would have told her the party bags were for the little ones and asked where her mum was.