Things that happened at my son's birthday party

[MauriceMinor]

Typical pre-school party at a little soft-play centre.

Halfway through one child rushes out of the play cage and is sick in a bin. His mother and several other parents sort him out, wipe up, change his clothes etc - then he rushes back in to play as if nothing happened.

His mother drags the bin over to the entrance to the play cage in case he needs it again. Which he does, five minutes later. People are looking a bit wtf at this point and I am pretending I don't see it as I don't want to get wound up. In total the boy is sick three times in the bin - the bin which we are using right next to the food table - and goes back in to play each time.

He looked dreadful, but was cheerful enough so she said it was a shame to spoil his fun. AIBU to think if your child pukes at a party, you take them home? At one point she had half the parents helping her wipe the floor and change his clothes. People treat her very kindly (myself included) because her son has mild autism and she is a single parent managing completely alone. I have extended huge empathy and friendship towards her. But I really think letting him throw up three times, very publicly, at my child's party is more than a bit off.

What do you reckon?

Also - this is weird too I think: at the end of the party, one parent (who I barely know) started cutting down the balloons and handing them out to children. After she had cut down the balloons provided by the soft-play people she started on our own helium balloons which had been sent to DS as a present from his granny for his party. They were in a bunch of 5 by the food table and were obviously our own. DH had to ask her not to but by then children were literally queuing up for their "take-home balloon".

That's weird, no? And grabby?

As I'm on a roll - one more thing: there was an older child there, looked about 8/9, I have no idea who she came with and didn't manage to ask. It was really odd as the equipment was clearly for little ones. I let it go but at the end the people running the place handed out the party bags and she took one! A bag filled with bits of things for toddlers!

AIBU to think all this is most peculiar behaviour? Or have I just not been to enough parties to know any better?

[hackmum]

YANBU.

Only read the first page of replies, but thought it was funny that people thought the balloon woman was worst. I think the mum of the vomiting child was by far the worst - incredibly unhygienic allowing your child to repeatedly vomit in a bin! And then not taking him home, potentially allowing all the other children to be infected.

Balloon woman was definitely grabby and cheeky.

Older child - again, v presumptuous and cheeky on some parent's part.

[SingMoreWhenYoureWinning]

Bit of a late reply to Crowler about ds1 being sick...

He never 'feels' sick before he vomits. It's just the effect the laughing has on his stomach. He does always hiccup before though, which is the warning sign.

He's 6 now and is starting, most of the time, to recognise what hiccups mean and has a quiet sit down, bless him. It was much harder to manage when he was 2/3 though (a memorable event was him lying down on his back on the sofa, MIL tickling his stomach to induce uncontrollable laughter, not noticing the hiccups and ds1 vomiting all over his own face. I had to use cotton buds to clean it out of his ears and everything [boak])

[Sillybillybob]

Proud the mum emailed in the middle of the following night to say he was still being sick and running a fever.

[ProudAS]

If it was a bug I reckon the child would have had other symptoms. DB used to be sick if he played roughly soon after eating.

Letting the child be sick by the food seems a bit much but if you're all OK it's probably nothing to worry about (it's now Tuesday and I assume party was at weekend).

[shebird]

Totally sums up why I hate kids parties. What rude people.
YANBU

[Purplepoodle]

The balloon thing I get. Parties are a new thing for me so wouldn't have occurred to me but friend with older kids said that kids always want the balloons so you need enough for everyone at a party - who knew

[Purplepoodle]

MrsKoala - WHAT!!! I would never expect that as usually invites are unnamed when handed out around here.

[Purplepoodle]

After reading these horror stories I think I love my local soft play. You can't get through the gate as they tick each child's name off a list given by the parents and ask what food they would like, ANY siblings they make them pay. In the party room each child is given their food by name, same with party bags. The owners are very savy with older kids so guess they learned all the lessons.

[CrohnicallyFarting]

I became ill almost exactly 48 hours after my daughter had vomited, she vomited after lunch on Friday and I started feeling ill (stomach churning and cramps) at lunch on Sunday and vomited mid afternoon.

[Twighlightsparkle]

oh my goodness, how awful.

id say 48 hours is the time when you are clear.

I caught noro from my daughter it struck my husband and I exactly 48 hrs after her first lot of vomiting.

fingers crossed.

[Floggingmolly]

And Dr. Dolittle passed him fit to party...

[MauriceMinor]

Oh good, so hopefully not Norovirus then. I have a fear of that! Apparently he has a fever too...eek!

[Triliteral]

I usually reckon once we have cleared the 48 hour mark that it is pretty unlikely to happen, though obviously it depends what it is. Norovirus is very quick to manifest (sometimes only a few hours).

[MauriceMinor]

DS fine so far. Anyone know how long till we can be sure we're in the clear? We've never had a sickness bug. I'm grilling him after nursery each day to find out if anyone was off but so far not heard anything.

[Triliteral]

IS your DS okay MauriceMinor? Has anyone else told you they've come down with anything?

[Floggingmolly]

Looks like we'll have to start printing the disclaimer "for use by the named recipient only" on our party invites from now on
Who in their right mind would assume a personal invitation was just a bums on seats job?

[Sparklymommy]

MrsKoala we almost had a similar incident at one of our dcs christenings. We invited BIL's parents (they were family friends) and they couldn't make it so asked if it would be ok for their older son and his family came instead!! BIL was livid (especially as at the time his db had upset SIL) and made it clear to us that we were not to allow it! I barely knew his brother!!!!

[Crowler]

They're so vile. Incidentally, my 8-year old (who is exiting the soft-play phase but is occasionally drawn back in by laser tag at Gambado.... ) has told me he may be sick the past three times we have gone to Gambado on the way home (I nearly crash when this happens. I need counseling). There's something about the running around/fetid air/chicken nugget combination.

[LaGuardia]

YABU just for going to indoor soft play. Filthiest places ever. Gross. Nothing good can ever come out of those bacteria- filled sh&tholes.

[AmIIndecisive]

Parties can be very stressful.

The vomiting thing sounds grim and if other children get ill, the parents will probably blame you for allowing the kid to stay but the parent was out of order keeping the kid there.

YABU re the balloons, it's not uncommon for kids to want the balloons and the lady was probably trying to help (and secure one for her) but nothing unreasonable in you saying your child's specific ones were your child's birthday balloons and please can they be left alone.

Re the older child, unfortunately this happens all time, people assume they can bring siblings etc as they have no one to look after their kids. As time goes by you will assume this happens (or people never RSVP and turn up anyway) and buy a few extra meals and going home presents.

Oh well, at least you have a whole year til next one, try and remember how much fun your kid had and don't dwell on the irritations.

[MrsKoala]

My sister had a party for my 7yo nieces and took in to school an invitation for everyone in the class. She didn't make the invitations to named people as couldn't be arsed to write them out. Big mistake. On the day about 10 kids turned up, holding invitations, who had not been invited and no one knew who they were. It turns out the actually invited kids couldn't make it so the parents passed on the invitations to someone else. As if they were just concert tickets or something.

Something similar happened at my 1st wedding. We invited an older lady family friend of exH (like an 'aunty' to him). She couldn't make it so sent her son in her place. He proceeded to get pissed, call my BM a slag, racially insult her H, and leave our wedding cake at a bus stop

[Babiecakes91]

I agree the ballon things weird, I have an autistic 2 year old who's almost 3 and he gets sick out of over excitement but I can tell which ones am illness and which ones just happen every other day.
I hope no other kids have caught the lb virus but sometimes when my ds is sick I just know it's because he's too hyper which other people can't tell by looking at him x

[Madeyemoodysmum]

A child in my dds classes mum is a GP
The child was sent home after being sick one day. The next day he was back, I asked dd why as usual school enforce 48hr rule she said

"It's ok mum, his mum has a really important job! "

Wtf

I was livid!

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

At my DS's 5th birthday, siblings came who weren't invited, which I semi-expected and, as it was a Church Hall type of party, I could absorb them and their parents were staying. Most I knew already, being in DD1's class and were only 2 years older than my DS (I already expected a handful of siblings, as a couple of lone parents with several children had asked beforehand). However, part-way through a game, I noticed a sibling had been left, his father (who I hardly knew) had scarpered and I hadn't been told he was there! I was livid, both being used as childcare and the safety implications of not knowing who I was responsible for, but I didn't get a chance to speak at pick-up and it was half a term before I saw them at the school gate again. I tried to compose a text, but couldn't get it all in. I shall be pre-emptive with that family next time and I suppose I was fortunate in that the children are delightful and well-behaved and I think it was a missed cultural nuance which meant they were left. I did, however, make it clear that older siblings were not to dominate or spoil it for the invitees, that invitees were seated first at the tea and, though I could run to a piece of cake for everyone, only invitees were to have a party bag. Grrr!! And I had named invitees on the invitation!

[Floggingmolly]

God, yes. Pirates party sounds unbelievably awful. Some people genuinely act like savages; hardly surprising when their kids turn out to be vile as well.