To send my children to Catholic school when we're not?

[JohnCusacksWife]

We are not religious and our DDs currently go to the local non-denominational primary school. Our village is in the catchment area for 2 secondary schools - a not very good non-denominational school in the neighbouring local authority and a very good RC school in our own local authority area. There is also a good non-denominational school in our area but we're not in the catchment for that and would have to make a placing request, which would probably be granted, but that would mean we'd have to make our own travel arrangements.

In the next year we'll have to decide which school our girls will go to and I'm leaning towards the RC school although they would obv not participate in any masses etc. Would IBU to send my girls to a school which happens to be RC just because its the best when (a) we don't believe and (b) I have a general problem with educating different religions separately?

Just to be clear we wouldn't be bending any rules if we chose that school....as it's in our catchment area it's technically open to all children in the area.

[ClaudiusGalen]

There is a massive difference between a collective act of daily worship of a broadly Christian nature and an RC school.

If you send them, don't do what some people do and come back on here posting when they are taught that what Roman Catholics believe is the truth, rather than as 'some people believe...'

NigellasDealer, most of Lancashire remained RC due to distance from the centre, but by the end of Elizabeth's reign Catholicism had become more of a country house religion of the gentry and their servants.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I think for us it was not fitting in not the differences but not understanding the faith and their different types of worship and expectancies.
There was a lot of worship, church attendance and even if you are not Catholic you are expected to follow the catholic Faith, we were made aware of this from the Priest and HT. We agreed as at the time we didn't realise how involved the religion aspect was.
I believe they are all the same irrespective of who is baptised and who isn't. That is why they are a church school, they have to keep this ethos for the practising religion as that is why most people manage to attend.

[littledrummergirl]

Our local rc school takes applications from all parents however they are asked to provide documents re christening babtism or whatever youre religion involves. You also need a very good letter of recommendation from your religeous leader saying how involved your family is.
There are a lot of hoops to jump through.

[snowpo]

My DS has just started reception in Jan at an RC primary. We have recently moved house and thought they had a space at the local regular primary but it was taken the week before we moved.
I would never have considered it as I am an athiest, DH is Church of Ireland.
However as they had spaces we had a look around. Its a lovely school, priority to Catholic children (70% or so) then Cof E, then to other religions and lastly any other children. I have actually been surprised how little mention of religion there has been. DS has been to Mass and had a leaflet in his book bag but no more full on than the private primary he was at last term which was CofE.
Have you looked round the school? If there are no requirements other than catchment and its the best school, I'd go for it. Presumably some of your DD's non-RC friends will be going?

[squoosh]

I went to a convent school, when I tell people that they assume it meant daily mass and non stop prayers. It really wasn't. A couple of masses a term, some teachers would say a prayer before class.............and that's about it. You don't have people whispering Catholic doctrine in your ear all day long.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

There is a massive difference between a collective act of daily worship of a broadly Christian nature and an RC school. In scale but to an atheist family, believe me, it is all part of the same crap.

[WooWooOwl]

YANBU at all.

[NigellasDealer]

" most of Lancashire remained RC due to distance from the centre, but by the end of Elizabeth's reign Catholicism had become more of a country house religion of the gentry and their servants."

that is interesting claudius.....was chatting to a nice student from that area the other day, he was telling me about tiny secret churches hidden in the big houses, and hefty backhanders from the gentry, and people who would attend the anglican church with ear plugs in......so the church warden would stand at the door and check people's ears!

sorry op for highjacking your thread - fwiw my sisters attended a Catholic school and what they told me about what they were told about abortion and contraception was a bit '''

[ClaudiusGalen]

I teach in a VA CofE school. Our act of daily worship is a 'thought for the day' in form. It often isn't even a Christian thought. In assembly they are asked to 'bow their heads' in contemplation. We have a school prayer, it just sits on the notice board.

I went to an RC sixth-form college. It was full on. Pictures of the products of abortion. Mass daily for all. I sucked it up because I wanted the education. If I was going to moan about it, I wouldn't have gone.

[ClaudiusGalen]

Yes Nigella, the recusancy fines were such that many people attended just enough to avoid them. The missionary priests and Jesuits who arrived in the 1580s could only be hidden by the rich, so they and their servants got spiritual guidance and services, whilst the poor did not, so it died out much easier amongst them. Look into the Continuity Vs Discontinuity theses.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I don't think it is fair that some people will miss out on a good education and that church schools are quite often your nearest and best school.

However, if you register your children at a faith school you must be prepared to follow that faith and immerse yourself in the belief.
My dd many years later attended our local CofE school, this was not much more than collective worship in comparison to the Catholic school. However, attendance at church was compulsory, as was being christened, all major festivals were celebrated at the church and were compulsory as there would be nobody left at the school to attend to none conforming dc.

It is a difficult decision but if it isn't your religion or you don't support it whole heartedly imo it isn't fair on your children.
Even after supporting as we did it may not work out and then you have to be prepared to uproot your child/ren.
Unless you are 100% sure or have no alternative please don't do it.

[MissDuke]

I am very strongly against education being linked with churches, so it would be a major no-no for me. I am surprised you are against it, yet are willing to send your children there? I couldn't do it.

[PinkFondantFancy]

Why would DC "obv not attend mass"?? What harm do you think it would do?? If you're worried about that I'd strongly suggest it's not the right place for your DC.

[NigellasDealer]

it is 'Muslim' btw

[soontobeslendergirl]

We considered it, mainly because my son was bullied in primary and they had a very good pastoral care. We are atheists. 30% of the school attendees were non catholic but obviously we would only get our placing request granted after all Catholics who wanted a place got one.

in the end we had another, better academically, school nearby that we also thought our son would be happy in. It had a reputation as being harder to get into whereas the catholic school told us that they would be likely to Grant even a late application. We applied to the hardest school to get into and got a space. If we hadn't it is likely that he would have gone to the RC school. However, I am actually getting annoyed at the amount of religious worship (not education) being undertaken at the non-denominational school, so I think it would have really not have been right for us.

[JohnCusacksWife]

Just to reiterate there are no hoops to jump through...we're in the catchment so could get in, RC or not. I do have some concerns about specific RC teachings about birth control, abortion, homosexuality etc but it would be up to us to make sure our daughters knew what our views on that are and how they differed from any teachings they may or may not get at school.

[Wallison]

It really is appalling that people should have to make these kind of decisions just in order for their children to have an education - religion has no place in schools. Having said that, OP, you have to work with the hand you're dealt, and it sounds like the Catholic school might be your best option, although of course I'm sure you'll be visiting all the schools and talking to current parents about their children's experiences at each of them.

[JohnCusacksWife]

They would not attend mass because we're not catholic. They would opt out of that along with the other non-RC pupils. I don't think it would do any "harm" it's just not what we believe.

Miss Duke, I'm willing to send them there because it's the best school....no other reason.

[NigellasDealer]

that's ok i just thought you might like to know that,
"the seemingly arbitrary choice of spellings is a sensitive subject for many followers of Islam. Whereas for most English speakers, the two words are synonymous in meaning, the Arabic roots of the two words are very different. A Muslim in Arabic means"one who gives himself to God," and is by definition, someone who adheres to Islam. By contrast, a Moslem in Arabic means"one who is evil and unjust" when the word is pronounced, as it is in English, Mozlem with a z"

[Caitlin17]

YABU. Whether there should be state supported religious schools is another debate.

[BratinghamPalace]

You will get no argument from me OP. My oldest two are in RC school and the youngest one is in a Jewish school which makes for interesting Easter conversations! I am RC, or should I say a cultural Catholic having being raised one and sent to an all girls boarding convent. I am a skeptic by nature but I will say that many things those nuns taught me about my body and my worth as a human stood me in very good stead in my life. We sweat the details a little too much in my opinion. Just don't be offended by the things they will be taught!

[JohnCusacksWife]

Wallison, it does anger me that parents in our village are put in this position. Our choices are a non-denom school in the neighbouring local authority which has not invested anything like as much £ in its schools as our own local authority or an RC school in our own area. We pay council tax to our own council but do not benefit from the good non-denom education our council offers.

[mumandboys123]

You would need to check about the opting out - it's not an option at the school I work at. We have no issues with non-Catholics (I am non-Catholic as are many of the staff) but would have a major issue with non -participation in school life generally which includes worship on a daily basis. You wouldn't last long if it bothered you. It is way more than just attending Mass or the odd prayer.