To wonder how people actually afford childcare

[roweeena]

So I should of thought of this before I got pregnant but I have a 3 month & 27 month old. Thinking of going back to work in Sept when they will be just shy of 1 & 3.

Contacted nursery under my work - 2 days a week for the both of them will cost £1020 per month!!! Dread to think how much full time would cost.

I was full time before and DS was in with a childminder but we have moved now and this nursery seemed so handy. Just going back 2 days a week now and going to have to also work one weekend day. Just can't afford to go back to work for more than that.

We have no family close by who can help out. Both myself & my husband are in quite reasonable jobs (in fact in my job people always assume I must be loaded - media reporting). Just wondering how other people actually afford childcare for two.

Ps I know DS1 will qualify for free 15hrs from the Jan but it doesn't seem to make that much difference as its only term time & 3 hrs a day (pretty useless for working mums)

[roweeena]

Italian - no wonder Danes are the happiest in Europe!

[rainydarkskies]

I see!

I don't think you are loaded but I KNOW you earn well above the average, and I can state that without reading the Daily Mail.

I am not saying for a moment that you are lying, I am saying however that I do not feel 'free' or heavily subsidised childcare for people who earn well above average is fair. I recognise you have other outgoings but these are not the responsibility of others and I feel childcare falls into this category also.

[ItalianWiking84]

I think it's more that the idea in the Nordic countries is higher tax but more paid by government and more welfare for all. But then again, I earn decent in a bank and pay 38% in tax which I think is fair, because my doctor, hospital, school, uni, roads and more is free...

[catinboots]

We have a magic goat that shits gold nuggets.

Seriously - I go to work to pay for the nursery fees, diesel and a very small contribution to the household.

However it also means that my career will still be intact when DS2 starts school.

[addictedtosugar]

Its reading threads like these that make me glad I live up in the "Grim" North.

roweeena any way of relocating? It cost me £1500 full time for 2 kids before the free hours kicked in. So our nursery costs must be significantly lower than round your way (and this wasn't the cheapest nursery). Have you got a quote from any other nursery, as well as the childminders etc others have been suggesting.

One other thought, if you are the major earner, could DH reduce his hours? Say you working full time, and him doing the 3 days a week. That would increase the household income?

PS its beautiful up here. I can be paddling in the sea in 20 mins, or out on the heater moors in 25.

[roweeena]

Yes but rainy I'm asking that if, despite myself and my husband having reasonable jobs, we can't afford to work full time so how the hell does anyone else do it.

I'm not saying all high earners should have subsidised childcare but I think the extortionate childcare costs must be reviewed as they are holding back women from progressing in their careers, working full time etc.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

We have no family nearby. We will afford childcare for 2 as follows:-

Two good salaries - this is the main thing - we both earn well so the cost of care is more affordable.
Childcare vouchers - we have carried on saving them during my maternity leave so once I go back all our childcare will come out of pre tax income
3 year age gap (sorry - I'm about a year late advising you on that one!) but it means that we will only have a few months of 2 in childcare before dd starts school. Once she is there we will be using a combination of holidays, clever working patterns (I work 3 days a week but my employer and nursery are flexible so I could do 4 days the week before school holidays and 2 days the week of school hols), childcare swaps with friends and going to stay with grandparents to reduce holiday club costs. Our commutes are very short so we won't need breakfast club and ASC is only £8 a day so feels very cheap.
I think we must live in a cheaper area than you - 3 days of childcare for one is less than £500 a month
Maxing out maternity leave - I'm taking the full year plus all my holiday tacked on the end. (Although that is more because ds is my last baby and I want to than because of childcare. However I will have a few weeks of getting full pay but having no childcare costs.)

Looking at what you have said I think that your problem is that your main earner (you!) is working less than full time. It might be worth looking at the figures if you worked full time and your dh part time or you full and him not at all and see how they stack up.

We are in this position as I earn slightly more than dh working 3 days than he does in 5. We decided to stick with doing it this way though as I prefer part time, he prefers full time, due to the tax situation me working full time is less lucrative than at first glance and we can afford it. But if you are going to struggle then this may be your best solution.

[roweeena]

Addicted - a move up north would probably solve the problem as I would have PILs who would save me a fortune in childcare! Maybe that is the answer - move closer to granparents

Maybe it is just a ridiculous nursery as well, the quest for reasonable childcare continues!

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

addicted crossed posts with you there - we also live in the "grim" North and love it.

(My best best bit was moving up here from the south and buying a bigger house in a nicer location for less money. It was like a magic trick!)

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

Roweeena is your nursery £60+ a day per child? That sounds extortionate! Its about £35 per day here, with reductions for more days and siblings... come to the midlands!

[bigkidsdidit]

We moved london to Scotland as we couldn't possibly have afforded a second child in London (and we earn 80k + between us). It is just about affordable up here eeven with high housing costs.

[Maeve789]

Yeh. When people said to me "i cant afford not to work" i knew they were paid a LOT

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

roweena do it!

Not just for the childcare but for the backup.

Baby ds got taken to hospital by ambulance on Sunday night at 8pm. (He is absolutely fine.) Dh stayed at home with sleeping dd while I spent 6 hours alone with him there. I wanted dh there, dh wanted to be there and we really wished we had someone round the corner we could call and they just come.

(We have friends who would but for various reasons now is a really bad time for them all.)

[addictedtosugar]

Mumoftwo lots of DH's southern friends can't beleive we have a detached house, while they are still in flats terraces.

roweeena you probably wouldn't need the grandparents except to cover emergencies! Thats what I'd love. Someone close enough to cover the last 24 hrs of D&V, or the ends of a cold.

Seriously look at DH reducing hours to allow you to increase if that increases overall income, and some other childcare options.

[addictedtosugar]

Mumoftwo crossed posts in the other direction

[morethanpotatoprints]

Roweena, the cost of childcare isn't stopping women from working at all.
Many women have husbands or partners and often have chosen to have their children.
If you can't afford childcare one of you either doesn't work or as a couple you lose the equivalent of a wage for a while.
Or in the case of a GP half a wage.
I don't understand how people can expect cheaper childcare. The only way would be to subsidise it further and make families pay for your childcare when one of them provides their childcare for free, that's hardly fair.

[CommanderShepard]

How do we do it? It's not that hard... (with the proviso that I work part-time - but we did the maths for full-time too)

Childcare vouchers
Sensible mortgage we can pay from one salary
Not-flash cars (we do manage to run two)
Meal planning to the nth degree
Not-flash clothes (supermarket for all of us)
Not-flash holidays

If you're the breadwinner, surely it makes more sense for your husband to be part-time and take on the bulk of the childcare?

To be honest "myself and my husband having reasonable jobs" kind of makes it hard to have masses of sympathy. You yourself have an excellent job. The lowest you could possibly be on as a qualified doctor is slightly more than £22,000. That's higher than my salary, and a lot of MNers. My salary's quite 'reasonable' - less than I used to earn, but such is life with a career change - but we can still afford childcare.

Is the reality that you're basically overspending and overmortgaged? Because I don't see how it can be much else.

[roweeena]

Mumoftwo - I hear you, our eldest has severe asthma with three hospital admissions in the last 4 months, just about doable Pre DS2 but a nightmare now I've got a small baby to look after too. It's times like that that grandparents are essential.

Baby dubs - I think it works out about £65 per day but I get a whopping 5% discount price for the eldest sibling! We can't afford it back to the drawing board

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

addicted Ooh - can you imagine - no more "I'm really busy tomorrow" "Well I'm really really busy tomorrow" hissed at each other at 3am while cleaning up sick. It's times like that when I would happily take an interfering MIL who lives round the corner and keeps popping round uninvited!

[roweeena]

Moretganpotatoprints - I think there are lots of women on this thread who have said they have had to stop working because of the cost of childcare

[breatheslowly]

So if you worked more than 2 days, the extra take home pay for those additional days is less than the childcare cost for those days. Really? Are you an employee or a partner? Have you taken into account the drop off in NIC contributions at higher rates?

How are you going to pay your mortgage then?

[Writerwannabe83]

This is why me and DH are only planning on having one child

We will be able to afford to put our upcoming child in childcare for 3 days (currently pregnant ) but there is no way our finances could stretch to the cost of two children in childcare. No way.

[annieorangutan]

maeve - Thats not true for lots of people. Me and dh are much better off in work with both kids in full time care than I would be without.

[bbcessex]

I have always worked and never had any free family/friend childcare to call on whatsoever.

I just wanted to point out that, unless a lone parent, childcare costs are a FAMILY responsibility - I find it amazing the number of people who say "will eat up my salary", "I'll be working for nothing".... Even though the net result is the same, psychologically you need to take it as a percentage of your family income... why should the mum's salary be seen as the one that's sacrificed?

FWIW - You need to be in a job that pays considerably more than the average wage to afford (typical cost) full time childcare.. that's just a fact.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

The really fab thing about being a GP is that there is not a village, town or city in the country that doesn't need one.

Is your dh's job portable.

Unfortunately mine isn't. Plus we love where we live.

Just need to convince my parents that they would like to leave the town they have lived in for 40 years and come and live here.