to want DP to let me go on this course?

[Desperateretrainedmumof3]

I retrained nearly 2 years ago but haven't got a job. We're really struggling with money, we could even lose the house.

Anyway there's a course which teaches you how to get interviews for the field I retrained in, it costs £50 and is based in London (we don't live in London so travel costs but a return train is £20 then tube costs so maybe £80 total?

DP says its snake oil, taking advantage of people's misery, but it's totally legitimate. I feel so unsupported by DP. AIBU?

Ok- one more practical suggestion, trying a different tack here.

If you are so convinced this course is going to lead to a permanent job for you in your chosen field, living where you do, then why not show your partner how you will shave £5 per week off household bills for the next 16 weeks to cover the cost? There must be some way of doing that, eating really cheaply , turning the heating down a few more degrees etc. That way you're demonstrating that you won't be out of pocket so there's no argument really. If the course is really so good that its the one factor stopping you finding a post then you'll find a way of covering the cost. It's actually incredibly cheap; most London based courses would be hundreds of pounds.

Cross posts there woodrunner, but YY I could not agree more. Like I said, if a younger, enthusiastic teacher could demonstrate to me that they would connect with my children and give them a first rate tuition experience then my children would no doubt buy into that idea far more readily than a teacher who might have the edge in years of experience but not engage so well with my kids

As I said: it's all market forces, and in the current climate people need to be able to sell themselves as having that something extra

Chottie I have tried to find work but its just proved so hard and I am not trained for anything except my field, I was a SAHM for years.

But that's not true. You might think it is but being a SAHM teaches you a lot. You must have at least a working knowledge of health and safety, nutrition and conflict resolution if you have 3 kids.

I know it is not what you have trained for but have you considered care work? Care homes need people to cover 24 hours so if you are happy to do just evenings or weekends you are at an advantage.

I don't think £50 is well spent on a course at the moment because there are not enough jobs.

I totally understand about not being able to afford childcare if you are not working but do contact some agencies. Yes some work is very last minute, I've had a call in the morning asking if I can work that pm, but it isn't always like that. Things like maternity leave are planned in advance but if you are not signed up to an agency you won't be considered.

Also think outside of schools. I'm fairly near the Black Country museum and I know some of the people in costume are teachers.

I disagree because although parents may want a very experienced tutor, there are fewer of these than there are desperate parents who will pay pretty much anyone with some relevant qualifications to tutor their children. It is not hard to become familiar with the relevant exam board- I tutored Eng Lit very easily having never taught this subject in my life, all the stuff is online and easily accessible now.

It's easy to say- oh well, you have to have experience to be a tutor, but this is not true. Offer reduced rates, be prepared to teach a wider range of subjects. Many tutors do not do this as their main job as the work is irregular and traveling is a pain- if you get say two or three pupils, a couple of hours a week, after your dh gets home, this is quite a bit of extra money for no childcare outlay.

Great tutors might be in demand, but the only way to get experience is to start out! Tutoring is not a catch-22 in the same way as getting a full time teaching job in your desired discipline.

super I have read the threads thank you and I still think that backing yourself into a corner repeating I can't do that because... To every kind helpful useful suggestion won't actually help yourself. And she is posting in aibu rather than employment issues! But teaching and tutoring can be great ways to earn a living although incredibly hard to combine ime with young children. I am a teacher who retrained at advanced age live in a very rural area and haven't been out of work either in school or as tutor since (except when I'll with cancer or now looking after chronically sick dd). It's easy to say I can't do that or that won't work because but the suggestions being made are helpful and useful. The OP is in a really hard position but there is a way out and I wish her well

The nqt year does not have to be completed within 5 years

Have you looking into learning support work, I see so many adverts for LSA work. Have you looked into special needs as well? It'd get some experience under your belt (while bringing in some immediate money) then you'll stand in better stead for a teaching job.

There really is no great secret that you need to pay for to get a teaching job. There is lots of free advice on the Internet - some good stuff on you tube. Obviously the first thing you need to do is make sure your cv is great & do a good job of filling in application forms. Chances are if you make contact with a local school someone there will be willing to help you in these areas. When I was looking to start teaching & had to spend time observing at a school before I could be accepted for interview on a course I found a couple of schools very keen to help me out. The HoD & a few teachers were very happy to spend some time talking to me, answering questions & giving advice.

Once you've been accepted to interview, the next step is making a good impression..... lots of free advice out there, & delivering a good lesson (look up ofsted criteria; ensure frequent opportunities for students to demonstrate progress - mini plenaries throughout, finish lesson on time.... So allow time for packing up. If all pack up in plenty of time use it as a chance for further review of lesson) Again, lots of free advice out there & it will be possible to find a local friendly teacher to help you. You should find the school with the vacancy willing to help out with all of the above. Some welcome people to visit the school prior to applying (I've known two teachers get offered a job on their unofficial visit).

The real secret of getting the job, the thing that the HoD will be looking for? I have been told by many, & my experience is they were telling the truth.... Is this...... if you have all handed in great applications & got to interview stage then the first thing they are looking for is; 'can I work with this person? Will they fit into the department, the school?' Of course a good lesson obs is important but they are aware that these things are artificial & so are not really something to stress over (do still out the effort in though), a good interview, have answers to their questions, have questions for them. If there are 5 or you who have done all of the above it is the 'can I work with them, will they fit in...' that will be the decider - it could even be that your lesson obs did not go as well as the others, but if they feel you will fit in better then you will be given the benefit of the doubt.

So don't spend money on a course you cannot afford. Spend time googling & going on you tube & go visit some schools.

I think the OP is probably feeling overwhelmed by now but I'd like to offer something which she can feel free to take
or leave. If you can get to Leeds on a week day which we can negotiate privately I'd be happy to offer a 1:1 careers advice session free of charge. PM me If this would interest you. No catch/pressure.

Look, someone explaining they can't do something suggested does not make them ungrateful, rude or depressed.

I read a quotation once which said 'freedom is another word for nothing to lose' and there is some truth in that (some!) There are times when something suggested may be a good suggestion in a general sense but not for that individual.

When someone has said several times they can't do something, I think people need to respect that, and to stop repeatedly insisting the OP does it: I'm talking about a variety of threads now, not just this one.

Aw that's so lovely of you ilovesooty :)

I am a history teacher who recruits other teachers, I work with NQTs and trainee teachers, one of the things I do is help them with the application process and career planning. Like you , I also retrained after having children.

On the one hand I think Yabu because it is very likely that you are not finding work because of a lack of experience not your application technique . However attending the course may give you a confidence boost and a touch of reality and therefore if you can sell things on eBay or raise the money in another way perhaps you should go. However i honestly do not think that the course contents will help you get a job, what might do is reinvigorate you. Understandably you are coming across as negative, stubborn and depressed - you may not actually be any of those things but that is the vibe you are giving and it is not helping, attending this course might help you shift that.

I think you shoud give yourself a deadline of September to find a teaching job and then accept that this is not going to happen. From experience of working with NQTs and trainee teachers , if they do not get a job of any description within a year of qualifying it is very difficult for them to get on the career ladder. You made it more difficult by having a child around the time of qualifying. I am expecting number five so I am not saying that you can't have a career and children - but timing is everything and you have fallen foul of that.

Many of the teachers that I have recruited have done the things that you say you can't and therefore you have that going against you as well as lack of experience.

I struggle to understand why you can't get a TA position if you have QTS and relevant experience - that would worry me because if you can't get a TA job, how likely is it that you will get a teaching job? I hope that does not come across as harsh, but I think in your financial situation is as dire as you suggest then you need to be realistic.

I think your best option is to offer tuition and to undercut those around you because that will be your selling point as others around you will have more experience. Perhaps the tuition could pay for the course.

OP i'm sorry you are going through this.
You have mentioned bar work and shops and care homes.if you are willing to do other jobs then would you considare nannying? It pays better than shop job and you can take your child with you especislly if you look after a two year old.
In your cv it will be a job with children.

Or you can ask the mums at school if they are looking for job too and perhaps you could collect their dcs with yours from school, take them to their house and use your teaching skills to help with homework till the parents come home?
Try to move near a city.
I really wish you good luck.

I have been on one of Theo's courses. She is amazing, gives fantastic advice and a real confidence boost. I got the next DHT job I went for so am certainly a fan. However lots of the advice is around using the strengths/experience you have and how to make it fit the job you are going for. Since you don't have any recent experience and qualified a while ago I am not sure the course would be of much benefit to you.

As others have already mentioned it will be very much the same content as the 'getting your first job' posts she already has on TES.
Have you tried posting a message (addressed to her) in the job seekers area on TES. She might give you advice relating to your very specific situation.
Good luck

Lol, I didn't realise Theo was a woman!

I agree with sleepyhead though-you may find the course a) doesn't tell you anything you can't find out on TES and b) won't help you tailor your experience if you fknt actually have any.

It sounds a bit you are pinning all your hopes on this and it won't be quite the solution you wish for.

Nothing shows dedication like volunteering to get experience; that will also give you stuff to write about on your application.

I agree with your DH. What have you been doing since you qualified?

Paynoattention you are being sympathetic to the OP's current emotional needs, but lots of us who may seem to be putting pressure on her are also very sympathetic to her long term circumstances.

I'm sorry but I don't believe none of the solutions are possible. They just feel impossible because the OP is justifiably tremendously stressed and overwhelmed right now, and what she wants is for the right job to come along instead of looking at the interim steps she needs to take to ensure she is the best candidate for the job when it does come along.

An example is - she said she couldn't do a job because all the pay she earned would be taken up with childcare and travel costs. I know scores of women who work with no profit for a couple of years when DC are pre-school age, because they want to be in the current market. they know the pay will suddenly come in when the DC hit school age. But OP isn't prepared to do that. It's not impossible. It just doesn't suit her, and I suspect the can't do attitude is one that puts off any prospective employers. For every candidate who says it's too hard to get tutoring work, TA work, to volunteer etc, there are candidates who make it possible, who bend over backwards to get the requisite experience. That's who OP is up against, so all of us who are pushing her are doing so because we can see she needs a change of heart about what she has to do - not what is convenient or of immediate benefit but what she absolutely must do in order to reach her goal within the next few years.

I lived with a DH who reacted like OP to being made redundant. Nothing was ever quite right. The perfect job never came along. Meanwhile he did nothing for way too long. In the end, after about five years of faff, he started making small inroads into things which he'd previously dismissed and his career is making a slow but active turn for the better. IT's not easy. OP has to do some really difficult juggling, perhaps for no immediate financial gain if she wants to get the requisite experience for her field.

When depression hits, you think everything is impossible. It feels as though something has to be handed to you on a plate for it to be right. But life refuses to work for us like that, and the sooner we accept that and start making less than perfect moves in the right direction, which take far more effort and arrangement than we think we have energy for, that's when things go right.

TheoGriffs courses get very positive feedback so I would say definitely worth doing especially as on Saturday so presumably no childcare costs. As history is not really a shortage subject I think you need to be prepared to apply for jobs anywhere and move if necessary when you are offered one - since you are selling the house this would seem feasible especially if teacher's salary would be more than DHs and he could be SAHD in short term until he found another job. It is tough (I've moved long distances for teaching jobs twice, once with very young children after DH made redundant) but paid off in the end. I think people sometimes underestimate the benefits of courses which are often more than the taught input: meeting others and sharing experiences, boosting confidence etc.

I completely agree with woodrunner. Sometimes when people say they 'can't do something', what they actually mean is, they could do it but on balance they don't want to, or they would need to make some adjustments to their life to be able to do it.

Several times in my work life I've had people I know tell me they 'couldn't do' something I've done. The first time was when I returned to work when dd was 12 weeks old, and some of my friends actually said 'I couldn't do that'. Then when I had ds a couple of years later, and all my salary was going on childcare for the two of them, several people told me there's no way they would work for 'nothing.'

I'm not saying there's a right and a wrong way, but what is perfectly clear is that these people could have done what I did, but weighed it up and decided not to. Which is fine. But then it's no good complaining that this may affect your career.

I've also seen both the above views on MN countless times. Oh and also posters who say they aren't prepared to move from the locality they live in. It's horses for courses though isn't it. Not a case of right or wrong. But there's nothing wrong with people making suggestions, talking from experience about what's worked for them and basically just putting the idea out there that there are different routes one can take. Sometimes it's only when other people say, hey, I did this/ tried that, that it inspires us to have a go at things we wouldn't have considered

I think that all this is overwhelming and you need to set priorities.
Right now my priority would be to make some cadh quickly. So i would look for casual jobs ideally combining that with some volunteer work relavant to teaching.

Once you make some cash and stand on your feet then you will be in a more powrrful potition to focus on your teaching career ad you will have some cash to invest i.e. childcare, car, courses.

I think you need to break it in 2 steps.
Walk first and then run.

My mistake, Snargaluff - it's changed since I did it. The five year limit, it seems, is for doing daily supply without starting induction. Good news for the OP though that there's no time limit!

The answer to the question "AIBU to want DP to let me go on this course?" is no.

However the answer to the question "AIBU to think doing this course will mean I can get a job easily?" is yes.

As is usual on AIBU people having been answering a different question to the one you asked but I think there has been some very helpful advice.

Many of us have answered the OP, marco; we just don't agree with your verdict on it, and we've gone on to offer advice which goes beyond the scope of the OP because as with many threads it quickly became apparent that whether to go on the course or not is actually not the most pressing problem. Many of us felt that in a situation where their home is at risk, it is unreasonable to spend £80 of the household budget on a course right now.

However, one of my recent solutions was that as the OP is so convinced that attending the course will lead to her securing a permanent teaching post, she could demonstrate to her partner how she will shave £5 per week off the household budget for the next 16 weeks, which covers the course and travel. That way she can show that she can do the course and recoup the cost within 4 months. Hopefully the OP will respond later to this and the many other useful pieces of advice, particularly about marketing herself for tutoring which many of us have suggested

No Marco, she's maybe not being unreasonable to want to go on the course but her dp is totally right that it is unreasonable to spend £80 of money they don't have to go on a course where she can do things for free to achieve the same end result, ie get a teaching job!

I can't help wondering whether the course will contain a lot of advice re experience that has been mentioned on these pages.

Hi OP, this sounds tough and I agree with the people who've suggested getting cash and house sorted before worrying about career.

Re tutoring - just wanted to say that I and my DSis have had the most luck getting tutoring via agencies -- yes they take a cut but they find the clients, make sure you get paid (if a good agency) and said clients often recommend you to others if you are any good.

As you specialise in the older age groups: one thing that worked for me when sixth form students lived far away or when the drive there was inconvenient, was meeting them in a cafe to tutor. That would help with your transport issues. I have also done online tutoring -- commenting on student essays so didn't need to mess about with Skype. I found the clients through a subject organisation. Older students can often be tutored evenings and weekends.

This is the prime season of the year to start looking for tutoring - parents or students themselves will get in touch with agencies following disastrous mocks or ASs! If you could offer Politics or Economics as well as History GCSE and A level I'm sure you can find a couple of students. You don't have to be an expert -- it's the individual attention and careful reading of the syllabuses that matters. Exam technique is not subject-specific and some students have very little.

I also disagree with the poster above who said exam marking requires a lot of experience -- some exam boards are pretty desperate at the moment. No harm in applying. Again it's prime season as it takes time to fill in forms and sort references. You may have to be creative getting the head teacher reference but I'm sure it could be done - one from one of your placements?

I hope our luck improves soon and do consider cover supervisor roles in both primary and secondary - one of those got DSis out of a prolonged period of unemployment post-DC.

Do go back to your training organisation, use their library and contacts and keep in touch with staff at your placement schools.