To keep ds off school tomorrow because he's exhausted?

[Mittensonkittens]

Ds is in reception. He's well below statutory school age being one of the youngest. He has really struggled with being tired anyway and unfortunately is one of these children that is hyperactive when tired. Basically the more tired he is the harder he finds it to sleep.

Yesterday we had a family wedding at which ds was page boy. He just about got through it but today is extremely tearful, emotional and easily frustrated. He can't concentrate and his reactions to everything are very over the top. He won't nap and never has so the best I can do is put him to bed about 6pm.

If he sleeps in tomorrow (going to bed early and sleeping in are the only ways to help since he won't nap in the day as he fights sleep like it's the enemy) would I be unreasonable to keep him at home and have a quiet day? He hasn't had a day off so far since starting and has a full on couple of weeks coming up with school performances and school christmas parties. I would just tell him he was a bit under the weather. He loves school so isn't the sort of child to decide he wants another day off randomly and play on it. It would just be a recovery day. Generally since starting reception we haven't been able to do anything at the weekend so he can recover from the week but it was unavoidable as it was a wedding. We also stopped over at the hotel so he didn't sleep well even when he was in bed.

AIBU?

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

Day off, absolutely.

[NurseRoscoe]

I'm sorry if I sound nasty but this sort of post annoys me a bit! If he had a cold at that age, I would of said keep him off, colds and little illnesses are harder to deal with at 4 than they are are at say 10 or 11 years old.

However my niece has gone into year one fairly recently and the expectations are so different. Days off school for being tired are a bit silly, he needs to get into a routine and those caring for him need to learn how to manage his behaviour. Let him have a long sleep and a few early nights this week. My son is 2 and has nursery 2 days a week 8:30-5 I work and he is the sort of child who needs a lot of sleep and this is how we cope.

[LynetteScavo]

I don't think we will ever get a diagnosis

I too thought that about my DS. For a long time I thought DS was "highly sensative" He was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum aged 13 - becuase I acutally asked for a diagnosis, rather than asking the psychologist what they thought.....

Keep your DS at home and have a lovely day with him.

[BarbarianMum]

I think if you accept that just 4 year olds can start school full-time, then you should accept that they will need the occasional day off when it just gets to much for them. The idea that this somehow sets them up for a life of idleness and skiving - is - just - rubbish.

OP YANBU

[northlight]

Oh, and have the day off. It is only one day. Try to take the pressure off yourself as much as possible

[Gileswithachainsaw]

barbarian

That is so very true!!!

[Oddsocksrus]

You are not ott, reception doesn't have the rigid programme that happens further up the school.
Keep him home let him have a nice quiet day and send him happy and calm on Tuesday.
My dd is exactly the same, when she is over tired I keep her home, school have experienced the full force of her rage and wild behaviour when too tired. It doesn't happen often ( once this term) and normally she is a sweetie but there is still a tipping point. Her teacher commented that there were a couple of other kids who should have the same.....

[sittinginthesun]

My eldest son ticks every box but one in the Highly Sensitive Child boom, and had terrible trouble sleeping when he was younger.

He was much better when he hit five years, and his hormones settled a bit.

I had to keep stimulation to a minimum, until he was in juniors really. I completely get the exhaustion thing, although my son has always had a huge amount of stamina.

but, I have to say that, in your position, I would still send him in unless he was absolutely on his knees and ill. I found that routine was the key.

I had a very good communication with his teacher (always have actually) and let her know how he was. School could always call you if it gets too much for him during the day.

it does get easier, and ds can now cope with most things, although he struggles with parties or late nights.

[Floggingmolly]

Why couldn't he have had a quiet day today? That's what weekends are for...

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Still mystified as to why exhaustion does not count as a valid reason for keeping a FOUR YEAR OLD off school for one day. He's barely out of toddlerhood FFS. I'm pretty sure it won't affect his cv as an adult.

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

That was aimed at NurseRoscoe by the way.

[Mittensonkittens]

He did Molly, but we were stopping over as the wedding wasn't that local so he didn't sleep brilliantly and then we had to travel back and the family were still all about this morning so it wasn't massively calm. He went to sleep at 7.30ish tonight, it took him an hour to settle so not too bad considering.

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Also I should add that I'm the first to say children shouldn't be taken out of school for holidays even in reception because despite the fact that they play a lot, they also learn extraordinary amounts. However in these circumstances I'd count exhaustion as a valid reason for a day off sick. Like I said upthread, better to have a day off than to be trying to catch up for the rest of the week. By the sounds of it this would be a one off, and the ops son isn't routinely missing days here there and everywhere, which wouldn't be acceptable.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

He did have a quiet day today flogging

Just he was so over tired and emotional that it didn't help. He needs a night in his own bed and a day at home.

I doubt his gcses can be Written off over one day

[Stampstamp]

Keep him off if he's exhausted. Some people seem obsessed with 100% attendance, I'm not sure what exactly they're hoping to achieve by this. He's 4. Frankly a duvet day at 4/6/8/12 isn't going to harm anyone. Insisting children attend full-time when they are so little "because they'll have to do it when they're older" is utterly bonkers. By that reasoning, you may as well start all babies at full time nursery to prepare them for school. When he's older, he'll be... older. And most likely will be better able to cope with the school day, because he's older.

[DorisHerod]

I was a Reception teacher for many years. Keep him off. The run up to Christmas in a primary school is often exhausting for small children. The timetable changes because of rehearsals, Xmas lunch, carol service, Xmas fair etc. even if his class aren't involved the school routine often changes eg can't use the hall for assembly, can't use the music room as costumes stored there etc etc.

It is overwhelming for a lot of children. And tiredness makes it worse. Every year I found that reception children get more and more minor illnesses as the term ends mainly due to be run down and over tired.

A day off is a good idea and lots of early nights and steady routine over the next few busy weeks.

[Rockinhippy]

My DD has always suffered badly with exhaustion, struggles to sleep if overtired, often just struggles to get off to sleep full stop, can get quite hyper if over tired too, also becomes sensitive to noise, light etc & even now struggles with over simulation if having a bad day health wise - she's also always been fussy with labels, seams etc etc, as she feels them more, still does even now at 11.

She's one of the eldest in class & not on the autistic spectrum though - she was diagnosed with joint hypermobility syndrome, which is the same thing as Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility type & all of this & more are also symptoms of that.

Could this be a possibility with your DS ?? - it was never obvious with my DD in her early years, she's no contortionist, but she passed the Beighton Test with a 7/9 score & more unlisted affected joints, we had no clue that her range of movement was abnormal as its normal for both me & DH as its an hereditary condition

[Rockinhippy]

Sorry premature opting

My DD still needs to have very quiet weekends in order to be able to cope with school, sadly we've had to give up a lot of activities she loved, because she just gets too wiped out & needs weekends to be "in days" to rest up & she is still wiped out to the point of been run down & ill at the end of term

[shebird]

You know your child and what is best for him. This term at school is you totally hectic and very tough on little ones. I wouldn't worry about him missing out as it's probably all nativity practice these days. Anyhow how can a child learn when they are exhausted?

[Rockinhippy]

PS, forgot to say - at that age, I agree with the others, if he's wiped out & grouchy, keep him home :)


My other comments were aimed at you saying you he can't cope with school & doing anything on weekends - this kicked in for my DD after she was seriously ill for a while & lost fitness - basically with EDS they need to be super fit just to cope with basic everyday life, if not they get exhausted very easily.

[AGlassHalfEmptyNoLonger]

Mittensonkittens

Firstly, I would keep ds off school tomorrow. He's 4, he's exhausted and as you say, a quiet day at home tomorrow will prevent a horrendous week.

Secondly, have you heard of sensory processing disorder/sensory integration dysfunction? This explains a bit about it, and seems to fit your ds very well, going on what you have listed here. And if it is, you may be able to get support from OT for him, depending on which areas he is affected by.

[Mittensonkittens]

My god glass that is my child!
He can actually be sick at the smell / texture if foods and complains that some textures 'hurt' him.
He had his haircut pre wedding and I had to change his top three times because he said he could still feel hair in it and it was hurting his skin.

He does describe noise as painful.
Thanks for that, I will read more.

[AGlassHalfEmptyNoLonger]

Ds is affected by many of the issues listed on that page, but it is grouped in with his Aspergers and Dyspraxia, rather than a separate issue. It is an issue in and of its own though, and there are ways to help minimise the processing difficulties, once you can pinpoint the specific issues, and when they occur.

[Rockinhippy]

My DD is also affected by many if the issues listed on that page, but in her case it's all linked to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.