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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Generosity of the PTA.....

85 replies

whydoibothersometimes · 27/11/2013 11:21

My son came home with a letter from school stating the whole school can go to the pantomime in December, it goes on to say that through the generosity of the PTA all children can go for just £1.50 each....wibu adding a star next to that and writing at the side *and the collective generosity of parents that support PTA fundraising events....? I just read it this morning and thought I've spent far more than that saving at all the bake sales, Christmas fayres, summer fayres etc etc and donated things for all these events so actually i have paid for the whole ticket in a round about way....

OP posts:
DziezkoDisco · 27/11/2013 19:33

We're not complaining about having to do it, but are complaining that after all the hours we put into it, someone who's baked a couple of cakes and given a bit of cash (for their own childs PTA) is then moaning that the people who, also bake the cakes and give the cash BUT then put in a good few days worth of their own free time each year can't be thanked over and above the other parents.

If the PTA didn't put together the events there would be no panto.

whydoibothersometimes · 27/11/2013 19:43

Ah we'll least I now know that being an active member of the PTA isn't an act of altruism then disco, so no different from me wondering why no thanks are given to the parents that do attend all events and spend a fair bit of money at these events because we know it is being used for the benefit of the children....i

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 27/11/2013 19:51

I don't think I've ever known of any PTA event that parents haven't been thanked for supporting.

ArbitraryUsername · 27/11/2013 19:57

At our school everyone is part of the PTFA whether they like it or not. So thanking the PTA isn't just those who are actively involved; it is thanking everyone because we're all 'the PTA'.

Beachcomber · 27/11/2013 20:04

I don't know how things are run in the UK, I live in France, but if a letter like that was sent by our school, parents would take it as read that they are ALL the PTA.

And then the honest ones would be admitting that unless they have volunteered and organised and given up time, that they are grateful that others do.

Our PTA is struggling and may not continue because not enough people help. Most parents come to events and spend money, which is great and the point of the whole thing. But there would be no events to come to if some people didn't give up lots of effort, time and generosity to making those events happen.

We are currently getting together a questionnaire asking parents if they would rather just get their cheque books out at the beginning of the year and pay upfront rather than buy things at events because we don't have enough people who actually help with the organization.

Which seems a shame because the kids love the events and they really do help all families get the most out of school, regardless of their personal budget.

I guess saying the above makes me a PTA martyr. Something I never thought I would be but which seems to be an inevitability of being an active PTA member because it really is a thankless task. I mean other than being glad that your child and every other child in the school benefits from PTA efforts.

OP you are being petty IMO. Get more involved in the PTA if you want thanks and glory .

Beachcomber · 27/11/2013 20:38

Also your PTA sounds pretty exceptional if they brush off offers of help.

At ours you are leaped on with thanks and never allowed to leave .

DziezkoDisco · 27/11/2013 23:00

Of course its not altruism, We do it to benefit the school my children go to.

Lilacroses · 27/11/2013 23:51

Well, when you think about it really deeply op is anything completely altruistic? I do loads of things for other people where there is no actual payback but I do it because is makes me feel happy to see them happy, it makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel as if I'm doing something worthwhile and frankly I like it that people see me as a kind person!

I don't think anyone is expecting people to fawn all over them with gratitude, they are just expecting a bit of appreciation for what they do and not to be called martyrs when they describe the effort they put in.

headoverheels · 28/11/2013 08:35

OP your post makes me sigh. Some people really do have to work hard to find something to moan about! Your DS is going to the pantomime (almost) for free, your school has an active PTA, you are happy with the level of support you give them. It's all good, surely?!

kerala · 28/11/2013 10:52

Also why should parents be thanked for spending money at events? They get something out of it (to attend said event). Admittedly event may not be much fun for adults (though some are) but the children will love it. Inflatable reindeer races anyone? Hell if you're 37 amazing if you're 8!

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