Teachers! I have an excellent parents' evening tip for you.

[OoozingCervix]

1. If you have a 10 minute slot and you are still talking after 25 minutes to a parent there is quite obviously an issue that needs to be discussed further at a later date.

1. May I suggest you get a timer? Put it on your table. Set it for 9 minutes. If after the allotted time you are still talking, hand over a card with your email on it and suggest the parent book a further appointment to see you.

IANBU.

Who would have thought us teachers would be so touchy about a bit of passive-aggressive criticism? It's not as if we've had a long half term* of babysitting educating large classes of children, being put under increasing pressure to reach unattainable targets in GCSEs in which the goalposts are constantly being shifted. Oh, and being slagged off for striking to defend standards in employment and education.

• Oh yeah, we get next week off. We're so lazy, aren't we?

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias Thanks.

of course it's the teacher's fault that you were kept waiting. We love nothing more than discussing every single detail about every child's life with every single parent. No? of course we can't be arsed to even learn every child's name. Hmm, I'm confused. Which is is? Well?

This thread has proved that teachers cannot win either way. Parent's Evening is dominated by parents who either a) love talking about their pfb, b) cannot accept that their child has not out performed every other child, or c) feel the need to tell you how to teach their child because they are unlike any other. Parent's evenings are painful for all involved, most parents don't understand that if there is a major issue then a different appointment needs to be made, unfortunately reminding them of this does not work. We end up being accused of not caring or being dismissive of a life threatening issue.

I'd much rather be at home with my own children!

Carabaos thank you. Thank you.
I get really cross when I queue up at DDs parents evening, and the teachers surreptitiously look at the photo list before speaking to me. She is in year 11. And she not even that quiet.

Our school offer wine, perhaps that might help everyone?

wickeddevil - why would you feel cross that a teacher uses a visual reminder to match to a name in order to make sure you get the most accurate parent's evening comments about your child? Some people just remember better with a visual to consult, rather than just a written name. Teachers are just people - not super-humans who can instantly recall several hundred people's names and progress at the flick of a switch.

Not so easy when you have ten minute slots and one turns up 25 minutes after their appointed time "traffic on the M25 was simply GHASTLY! I guess that's the price I pay for working in London.' (Uuuhhh... The price I pay more like it) and then says "you can just slot me in at the end-I don't mind waiting!"
I ended up feeling VERY rude as I was packing away the chairs in the classroom while they were hanging about after their new appointment. I ended up being 45 minutes late to pick up my 9 Monty old from the childminder It's hard to kick parents out!

Another set, after being 5 minutes past their allotted time, still sat talking to me after I'd said thanks for coming and had WALKED to the door! And their DC is top of the class! Nothing left to discuss people, move along!

Errr that would be " nine MONTH old".
I did not name my pfb Monty....

It strikes me that it is like many situations in life, there will always be people who have no consideration for others, in this case, neither for the parents waiting, nor for the teachers.

Pans and what exactly are parents expected to discuss with a teacher on 'Parents' evening' if not their own child? I just don't believe it is 'dominated' by these kind of people- talk about an exaggeration. My DP would probably prefer to 'see' his own children if he is to be back as 'early' as 7pm but what kind of parents would that make us- ones that can't be bothered!

Tips for parents...

Please do not whine if your allotted time is not the exact one you requested. 6 families wanted the 3.10 slot.

Please do not interrupt me taking the register to ask me when your appointment is. I wrote it in your child's diary... last week.

Please turn up at, or shortly before, the allotted time.

If you are late, please do not get huffy that I have started to speak to the parent due after you. I will see you next. Please do not interrupt us ... and certainly not 3 times.

Please do not whine that I booked myself one slot as a break. I was talking to parents up to 7.30pm. It was a 12 hour day.

The first thing that I said to you after Hello was "Is there anything that you'd like to ask me or any issues that you'd like to raise?" That was your cue for your list of questions. The end of your 10 minutes is not the time to say "Just one thing ..." and produce a list of four points.

Please do not complain to the Head the following day that I was unprofessional for having a bottle of water on my desk and daring to take a sip. (see above comment about the 12 hour day).

Please do not complain that I have not yet marked the work that was done earlier that day.

... and breathe...

Oh well it will soon all be done on skype and when your 10mins is up you just disconnect! Maybe they should set it up so the parents stay put and the teachers move around!!! That way any long conversations are interrupted by a teaching colleagues which might make it easier to move on as they want their chance to tell them how wonderful their child is. Might be tricky co-ordinating so that they see the right parents when streamed - maybe the parents would need to be streamed.

3bunnies, my school has parents evenings where the teachers move around to the seated parents.

Last parents evening we sat outside DS1's class watching the previous appointment overrun by 20 minutes. The door opened as we got up to go to DS2's appointment - we had to explain we couldn't wait any longer. Zero apology from either parent or teacher - the parent giggled and said something about talking a lot Yes, and now we will not have an appointment at all.

I also don't need to hear how good/bad you were at school. If little Johnny is good/bad at English I really don't need to hear how you liked writing stories and reading books, that you haven't read a book since school or that you can't spell... I am here to talk about your child, not you.

I always know my pupils' names but do refer to a spreadsheet as I cannot remember every grade, assessment or target they have off the top of my head.

Spikeytree - how does this work? I have huge boxes of stuff to show parents?

Did anyone else's parents approach secondary school parents evening like a military operation. Mum took half, dad took half, each had note pad and pen. Got there early with list of teachers. My job was to run around and see who didn't have queues. Of course I had to stay in corridor while they did their interview. They always managed to get round all the teachers. Quite funny thinking back

NQT, Cervix?
Or the sort of teacher that parents describe as lovely and approachable, because they can't say no?

I agree with you, I've done hundreds of parents' evenings and never run over.

two separate occasion I had to leave parents evening without seeing the teachers as she over ran, I had to go to work and had allowed enough time - but after an hour of waiting I walked up to the desk and said excuse me but I can't stay any longer I have to go to work. As I was left in an awkward position by the teacher I couldn't just leave but need to excuse myself from the appointment.

For it to happen once was excusable but for it to happen twice wasn't

I was told they needed longer with the other parents and I said exactly the same as Op - then get them in at another time or give them a longer slot at the end of the evening, but don't have other parents sitting their for an hour and then have to leave for a nights work, it is unfair and down right rude.

Secondary school is far better and well organised with all the teachers in the hall sat in alphabetical order, we see 10 teachers in 40 minutes and leave, most we have appointments but some we don't and slot in when they have a gap.

We don't show stuff, PurpleGirly. We take our mark books and that is it. Queue up for parents in the order they arrive, do your stuff and move on. In reality you get hordes of marauding teachers wandering the hall looking for a free parent and then swooping in. If you have no parents in the hall at a particular time, you pop into a 'holding pen' and wait. Name of pupil belonging to a particular set of parents is on the desk plus projected on the whiteboard e.g. table 1, Joe Bloggs. By 9pm the atmosphere in the holding pen is verging on hysteria.

I'll always remember the parents who turn up with biscuits, or a bun, or samosas, or a cup of coffee for me because they thought it was a long night and I might need a bit of a snack.

Oo parents please don't tell me that," I play guitar and am in a band"," I can't read a note, don't know where he/she gets it from","can he/she have their instrumental lesson at lunchtime?"(yeah with the other 30 parents wanting half hour lessons in the 50 minute lunch 'hour'), "It must be fun teaching music"( Sometimes yes, mostly its loud and knackering and full of technical issues... My headphones don't work, my batteries have run out, can you tune my violin/guitar/ukulelee).

I could go on. I won't though.

Ukulele argh. Long day

I often think why not spread parent evening over a few weeks. There the teacher could see perhaps 2 parents after school. Then the teacher could leave at a more sociable time.

How does that work when you teach hundreds of pupils?

SilverApples, I had one turn up with wine. Best parent ever!