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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have rung another school about this?

26 replies

Aethelfleda · 08/10/2013 17:35

I was walking my DCs to their school (let's call it School A) this morning, when the traffic coming along beside us had a lady driving her three DCs to another school (School B). As they passed us (fairly slowly as the road is busy at that time of day) I noticed that none of the three Dc in her car were seatbelted, one in the front and two in the back. It wasn't clear whether they were sat on booster seats (they all looked about 8-10 years) or whether they were siblings or a carshare. They definitely were not wearing belts though. They all had school B's jumpers on.
As I walked the DCs the rest of the way it kept niggling me how much I am annoyed by parents that don't belt their kids in, mostly cos it's not fair on the kids in the event of a crash. Those kids clearly were used to not belting up as they were old enough to have done their belts had they wanted to.

When I got home I decided to ring School B to explain what I'd seen and ask if they could please consider some sort of seatbelt safety education for the kids or a small word in the next parent newsletter. I know they have no power over what parents do outside school but maybe a bit of education in the school could help change behaviour of the kids?

The lady at the school sounded a bit Hmm when she realised I wasn't a parent at the school. Was I being U to ring them?

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 08/10/2013 17:38

I think police would have been better but it was good of you to act. It's dangerous and stupid.

YouCantBeSerious · 08/10/2013 17:39

Yes you were being unreasonable. It's nothing to do with the school.

Johnny5needsinput · 08/10/2013 17:40

Wats it got to do with the school?

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2013 17:40

YABU it is nothing to do with the school. If she was driving them to the pub would you have rung the pub?

ilovesooty · 08/10/2013 17:41

Well this seems to be the post you finished in full, but I'm really not surprised your contact with the school was received the way it was. I doubt if the school sees the issue anything but something parents and carers are responsible for.

YoureBeingADick · 08/10/2013 17:43

Are you the person who stood infront of a car in a supermarket and refused to let a man drive home without car seats in the car?

HangingGardenofBabbysBum · 08/10/2013 17:46

When you were small, did you want to be a police officer?

You could buy a wee notebook and note these and other transgressions. Pop into the police station each Friday afternoon and see if they've missed any.

If you get more than two more than a trained copper in any week, treat yourself to a chocolate bar. Or epaulettes.

I played this with my two year old. Great fun.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 08/10/2013 17:48

Gotta love how everyone's all Hmm with the op. They were driving without seat belts, the thinking that something could be put in the news letter isn't that far fetched really.

Those kids were in danger, if she drove into you fast enough any one of you could suffer the trauma of one of the kids lying badly hurt across your bonnet. Least she tried to do something.

Original poster
Aethelfleda · 08/10/2013 17:48

Hee! No you're (and what a lovely nonjudgemental namechange by the way, have a Biscuit) I am not she.

I only rang the school B because the DC were all in their uniform, I didn't think quickly enough to get the reg number (who carries a pen on the school run? I was supervising my dc). I have already stated I know the school aren't responsible BUT if it has a chance of them reminding the schoolchildren how important seatbelts are then it may have made a tiny difference. If you think seatbelts are unimportant then dig out the public information film on youtube from a few years back about the unrestrained teen who kills his mum when the car crashes.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2013 17:52

I totally see why you were upset by it Aethel, totally. But I don't think ringing the school helped anything.

You know if she had pulled up and got out would you have spoken to her? Genuine question. I don't think I would be brave enough.

YoureBeingADick · 08/10/2013 17:52

Well i didnt namechange for this thread, ive been this name for a while now but if the cap fits Wink

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2013 17:53

I don't think YBAD has n/c for this thread BTW.

3littlefrogs · 08/10/2013 17:57

Waste of time ringing the police about anything IME.
Probably a waste of time ringing a school about anything too. IME.

I can understand you feeling a bit frustrated at the carelessness and stupidity of some people though.

Original poster
Aethelfleda · 08/10/2013 18:00

Oh OK your, biscuit retracted then! I do understand it's the parents' responsibility and all that, but yes I think I would have spoken to the mum (and probably got a mouthful back, but hey.) I just do not get how people think seatbelts are an option for a routine, predictable driving journey. Exceptional circumstances may be different but are you seriously telling me you wouldn't care if someone's DC went through a windscreen when it could have been avoided if they were educated about seatbelt safety? If I were at the school I'd want to try to remind people about it....

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 08/10/2013 18:03

There's stuff in our news letter all the time regarding parking, or letters/phone calls the school have had about parking and other problems. It really wasn't such a far fetched idea IMO.

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2013 18:06

I think your heart is in the right place Aethel, and YY to parents thinking 'it's only down the road'.
My two are 14 and 11 and I still ask 'are we all strapped in?' before I drive off. It's habit.

I hope that woman doesn't ferry other peoples children about in that manner.

FreeWee · 08/10/2013 18:14

Do you know what? I'm going to say YANBU and this is why.

Haven't we all been saying who was looking out for Daniel Pelka and Baby
P if their mothers weren't? Lots of people saw but nobody did anything. This example by the OP could be seen as a case of neglect. If the mother isn't caring about her children's safety who is? If we all sat back and said it's not our/the school's business then more neglect will go unreported. This mother was putting her children's lives in danger; to ignore is to ignore children in danger.

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2013 18:16

I agree to a certain extent Free but I don't think we can compare those tragic cases to not strapping the children into the car.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 08/10/2013 18:16

I don't see the harm. The school could put a note in the Newsletter or something.

I had a crash on a 10 minute journey down the road with 3 children in the car. I got several "well done's" from the emergency services for having seatbelts on my children. Shame that they will have seen so many incidents where children have been injured NOT wearing seatbelts that this was worth them remarking upon.

GhostsInSnow · 08/10/2013 18:22

YANBU

Last year I was driving DD to her high school, to get there I pass a local primary. Parents can be bloody stupid at times and I'm aware that they stop on the main road and jump out like lemmings so I always slow when I pass. Good job I did really as this particular morning parent parked (a good 3ft from the kerb) and then yanked open the back door encouraging the small kid in the back (about 4) to jump out right into the oncoming traffic. Fortunately I was going slow enough to avoid him but I was fuming.

When I got home I emailed the school, explained the incident and suggested that some parents may need a reminder on road safety and especially telling that really its not the best idea to let a small child out of a car into a main road and that alighting pavement side would perhaps be a bit better in order to avoid a serious accident.

The following day I had a reply, a copy of a letter sent to all parents reminding them not to alight children into the road and to use some common sense.

Never fails to amaze me the risks some take with their kids. I recall when DD was in Primary there was a man there who collected a nursery child and took her home on a contraption attached to his pushbike. Not the proper high vis carriages with warning flags, but a cart on wheels that was invisible to anyone in a higher car. Staff had a word in the end and he grudgingly bought a proper carrier.

defineme · 08/10/2013 18:27

JuiceOrtiz, I know of a child who died getting out of the traffic side of the car...well done for going slowly and for contacting the school.

RooRooTaToot · 08/10/2013 18:27

I'm going to say YANBU as well.

It took a couple of minutes out of your day and it may prompt even one or two more kids to buckle up (even if their parents don't insist).

We regularly have members of the public contact us about bike safety, pavement hogging etc. and it is always acted upon. Pupils are reminded and a note goes out in the newsletter.

Your call may have prompted someone to think "we haven't done an assembly on the importance of seatbelts for a while" and schedule one. Can only be a good thing.

I'm a little surprised at all the YABU's you've received.

Pixel · 08/10/2013 18:57

I'm surprised too. When I was at school we were always having assemblies on road safety etc. Children do pay attention to these things (I certainly remember how to put out a kitchen fire without getting a face full of hot fat!). If the parents can't be trusted to teach their children how to do things safely (not to mention seatbelts are a legal requirement) then the schools should.

FreeWee · 08/10/2013 19:22

Sparkling I agree I'm going over the top to make a point but those who are saying YABU are saying it's nothing to do with the school. So what is to do with the school? What is someone's business if children are being put at risk?

Somanyexcuses · 08/10/2013 19:30

YANBU

It is dangerous to not use seat belts and if your phone call prompts the school to remind children and parents of this it could save somebody's life.

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