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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this may possibly, perhaps, could be perceived as Bad Form?

82 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/09/2013 19:28

DD2 brought a school trip letter home yesterday - 10 places to bexawarded on a first come, first served basis.

She was 8th in the queue, the pupil before her handed in her slip and 3 extras for friends.

It takes a lot for her to get out of bed early, and she really wanted this opportunity - one that her sister experienced 2 years ago, and I really wanted then tu have the same chance.

Gah

AIBU to be a bit miffed?

OP posts:
flowery · 19/09/2013 12:03

There's two things, there's complaining about the process, and in terms of that, it should be a general feedback, possibly at a governor meeting, that perhaps it might be sensible to reconsider that, and using a 'name in the hat' process next time.

The second thing is that bearing in mind they had decided to follow a first come first served process, this process wasn't actually followed as two of the children being served didn't bother to come. This is a complaint as a parent that they are publicising using one process but then not following it.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/09/2013 12:06

Agree with whoever said about 9th and 10th child. If you can get one of them to complain then you can go too and nod in the background.

However, if that is not possible, then being a governor does not mean your child should lose out. What if they were being bullied? Or a teacher assaulted them? You are still a parent first and a governor second.

mrsfuzzy · 19/09/2013 12:13

you could say that you've had 'complaints' about the system from parents, get in there, woman up and do something about it.

WorraLiberty · 19/09/2013 12:14

Part of a governor's role is to tell them straight out if they aren't following procedure.

Just make it clear that you're pointing it out on behalf of all the parents/children and not just yours.

ThisIsMySpareName · 19/09/2013 12:17

Actually, I think as a Governor it is your duty to speak out as it is a rubbish process that unfairly disadvantages the majority of children, not just your own.

You would be unreasonable NOT to say anything - you can use your DD's experience as an example, but be sure to point out that you think it is negative for all of the children not just your DD and that names in a hat would be fairer.

FastWindow · 19/09/2013 12:32

Hey! I call offside. Yanbu.
Miffed? I'd have steam coming out of my ears.
Team up with numbers 9 and 10 so it doesn't look like you're trying to pull rank.

AbiRoad · 19/09/2013 12:36

I agree use of hat would be fairer. But in relation to whether they have applied their existing first come first served policy correctly, it depends what the school said. If I was relying on someone handing in a form for me, I would definitely check with the school whether that would be ok. If they did that and were told it was fine I dont think it would be fair to take their places off them in favour of the next 3 in the line.

Spatsky · 19/09/2013 12:43

It is an unfair system, but suspect OP would not be considering complaining if her child had made the cut for the trip, therefore I think it is much better approached as a parent than as a Governor.

I think approaching the problem as a Governor only really has credibility if it doesn't arise as a result of that Governor's own child missing out on something - rightly or wrongly.

stayathomegardener · 19/09/2013 12:48

Grill your child for names of No's 9 and 10 and then stand right behind those parents and nod at appropriate times whilst they complainGrin

jennycoast · 19/09/2013 12:48

I used to be a governor, and we often discussed things which had come up because of our experiences as parents in the school. In fact some of our more robust policies came about as a result. It is one of the reasons why they have parent governors. You're not saying "my daughter ought to be going because I'm a governor" are you. It's more "I've seen that some processes are not fair, and it is our responsibility as governors to ensure that all pupils have fair access".

stayathomegardener · 19/09/2013 12:48

Sorry fast...Great minds

nickelbabe · 19/09/2013 12:51

It is definitely not fair.

you in your position of governor should be stamping that one out.

in what world does "first come first served" mean "if your fried gets there she can bagsy your place so you don't have to bother"????

If they couldn't be bothered to stand in the queue, then they shouldn't have been allowed to have places - the next time they do this, then it should be "you have to be there yourself - no friends handing in forms for you"

Seriously Chaos - complain to the hills on this one.

LeGavrOrf · 19/09/2013 12:53

I would complain about this. Your role as governor has nowt to do with it. You have got a genuine reason for grievance.

Agree find out who children 9 and 10 were and get support from those parents if possible.

Silly teacher should have only accepted the name of the child and not the friends.

nickelbabe · 19/09/2013 12:55

and this:

  • Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 19-Sep-13 11:54:22

I don't think the fact that you are a governor has any bearing on this. My Mum was a governor for eight years at our secondary and was openly critical of school process where she felt it was poor and worked hard to get things changed.

A governing body is supposed to hold the SMT to account, not just sit there nodding along while poor decisions are made and poor process allowed to continue.

Go in and complain as a parent, just as you would if you weren't a governor.*

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 19/09/2013 13:35

Thanks you lot.

I have spokedn to head of MFL who is organising trip, although the slips were handed into the finance office.

9 and 10 were her best friends, so I can easily speak to those parents.

Mrs A was agreed with me that FCFS was not the ideal system, but had always worked out ok in previous years. Hmm

To give a bt more info - the pupils visit one of 3 European countries next June - 35 to each country - there are 4 MFLs at the school - thse doing Japanese are guaranteed to go to a certain country (their second MFL), leaving 10 places open for the other pupils. The reason I would really like DD2 to go to this country - this is the language that she'd like to do to GCSE, this is the country DD1 went to (as one of the predetermined places, so I haven't experienced this before) and I would like them to have the same opportunities. Also, the city which she would be visiting as her second choice, is where we spent our annual holiday a month ago, so she's already had that experience, iyswim.

Mrs A understood my concerns and said she's investigate on Tuesday which is the cut-off point for the slips to be handed in and review it then. She also said that as the system was advertised as a FCFS it would be difficult to alter this, although sje would consider a different system in future.

I then felt I had to point out the child handing in3 slips, which she agreed was unaccpetable. But did not really clarify how this would be addressed. I said that the fact that a pupil was handing in for other children emphasised the unfairness of the system, as perhaps they had other commitments in school/travel arrangements etc.

I don't think Mrs A knows I am a governor, and I certainly didn't mention it - I will address this as a parent, but I am determined to raise this at the next meeting as a process that may need reconsidering - particularly from the potential discriminatory POV.

Thanks again, everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 19/09/2013 13:36

reasonS

Blush
OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 19/09/2013 13:54

Names in a hat always fairest.

DDs school used to let this shite happen, one year they even let the girls choose who they wanted to go with. Angry

ThisIsMySpareName · 19/09/2013 14:11

We always did names in hats for our residential trips at school, although I do remember when they were trying to organise the skiing trip and only about three people had put their names forward, we all got hauled into the hall and asked why none of us wanted to go skiing - teachers couldn't understand it as it had always been really popular and if they didn't get enough interest it wouldn't go ahead.

Turned out someone had started a rumour that if you went skiing it reduced your chances of going on the French trip which everyone wanted to go on, so no-one opted for skiing.

Teachers kept trying to re-assure kids that it wouldn't impact on their chances of getting on the French trip, but I'm not sure whether people really believed them. Don't know whether the skiing trip ending up happening or not (as I had absolutely no interest in being cold for a week whether I got to go to France or not!)

MrsOakenshield · 19/09/2013 14:20

nothing wrong with FCFS but there have to be ground rules. The libraries in my borough were handing out free tickets for the viewing gallery for the Shard. It was made perfectly clear how many tickets per library there would be, and how many tickets per person (I think it was 2 or 4).

It doesn't sound like this was the case here, and Mrs A sounds a bit feeble to be honest - whoever was taking the slips should have said to child 7 'sorry, I can take your slip only, as your friends aren't here in the queue' and that would have been that.

Hurumph on your behalf.

kali110 · 19/09/2013 19:01

Dont think fcfs is a very good system and certainly not fair. Really should be names in a hat.
I dont think its unfair for a student to hand forms in for others as you dont know the circumstances for why the other studrnts couldnt be there.

jeee · 19/09/2013 19:04

Was the system the same last year when your DD did get a place? Because if it was, I don't really think you can complain.

bundaberg · 19/09/2013 19:07

no, that's really unfair. would they have thought it was ok if number 1 in the queue had handed in 10 slips for other people?

kali110 · 19/09/2013 19:21

If ops child hAd had their form handed in i bet it wouldnt be unfair then. Its an unfair system to do things on the whole.

WilsonFrickett · 19/09/2013 19:22

bundaberg despite my earlier, serious posts about how this system is unfair and potentially discriminatory, I would have loved the first kid in the line to have just handed over 10 slips then skipped back to her seat. Then 9 of the class to stoat in late after the bell Grin.

I think I have an odd sense of humour because I am sitting here giggling away at that Thanks

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 20/09/2013 10:22

kali, that's a bit insulting really.

I am certainly able to see the unfairness of a system whether my child us disadvantaged by it or not. FWIW, I'm pushing for a fair system to allocate places - if that means thst my DD misses out, then so be it. I think it's reasonable to be irked Iif she misses out under an unfair procedure,

Thus us the first time I have become aware of this procedure as, as mentioned in a previous post, my eldest was predetermined her place, and didn't have to apply for the short supply places.

OP posts: