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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that this may possibly, perhaps, could be perceived as Bad Form?

82 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/09/2013 19:28

DD2 brought a school trip letter home yesterday - 10 places to bexawarded on a first come, first served basis.

She was 8th in the queue, the pupil before her handed in her slip and 3 extras for friends.

It takes a lot for her to get out of bed early, and she really wanted this opportunity - one that her sister experienced 2 years ago, and I really wanted then tu have the same chance.

Gah

AIBU to be a bit miffed?

OP posts:

flowery · 18/09/2013 22:18

Indeed. First come first served means you have to actually come in order to be served.

Tuppenceinred · 18/09/2013 22:47

As a governor you and the school need to appreciate the separation in your roles. You go in to complain about this as a parent, at no point do you refer to being a governor. If someone from the school does you just point out that you are raising this as a parent, not a governor.

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 19/09/2013 09:20

Ok.

I'm going in.

I'm just worried it's going yo sound like a whungey "it's unfairrrr" like a 7yo.

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 19/09/2013 09:23

It's also potentially discriminatory which may be a better route to go down Mrs Madam Guvner .

Children with SN who don't like being out of routine, or who would prefer to arrive at school just as the bell goes so they don't have to cope with a chaotic classroom, or kids who are taxi'd in, would have no chance of being 'first come'. I think it's a pretty shit system tbh.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 19/09/2013 09:28

YANBU, that's unfair.

MistyB · 19/09/2013 09:31

I would love to know what ideas people have about making this fairer. (we have a similar problem regarding limited places for after school clubs)

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 19/09/2013 09:33

Names in a hat gives equal chance to all entrants.

OP posts:

ChasedByBees · 19/09/2013 09:36

Hope she can go. That was unfair. Will they remember which people were on the three extra slips though? The 9th and 10th in the queue would also have been affected - the extra spaces should go to them. It could be difficult to sort out.

Editededition · 19/09/2013 09:38

Chaos I would tread with caution, and re-consider saying anything.
Basing this solely on your original comment that you don't want to be seen as a Governor who is now criticising school process.

Realistically, that is exactly what will be perceived.
Because you are a Governor.
And you are going to criticise.
On paper, it is fine to say that if you don't mention being a Governor when you go in, then you are not complaining as one. In reality, the school knows who you are. They know you are a Governor. And you are about to tell them you are not happy with something.

I think the process they use is not reasonable. I would let it go, and (sad as it is) help your child accept that life does throw these sorts of unfair things at us. I would wait until the trip is over & done, and then I would have a quiet word with the Head about the system they use and why you think it is unfair .....citing personal experience.
The fact that you waited and did not complain on a personal level will add far more impact to the push for change.

Just my spin.

3birthdaybunnies · 19/09/2013 09:39

I don't have a problem with the concept per se but it should be one slip per child. Pulling out of hat would be fair as long as it is done in front of children and they see that all the names have gone in - otherwise some names might accidentally be lost or at least school is open to that allegation.

Hope you get a satisfactory solution - I think the same should apply when I have to line up to rebook swimming lessons - one person per family.

Latara · 19/09/2013 09:40

How unfair! I feel annoyed for your DD. I would complain... except it's difficult with you being a Governor.

YANBU to be cross.

DameDeepRedBetty · 19/09/2013 09:44

Both primary and secondary schools that dds have attended have always had a random draw for oversubscribed trips and clubs. The secondary also has a policy that anyone whose attendance has been ropey (lates, not genuine off sicks) or who has picked up demerits will be removed from the list before the draw.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 19/09/2013 09:44

Why is there a trip not everyone can go on? Hardly fair at all most the kids never had a chance through no fault of their own. Bus times/car pool arrangement etc.

WilsonFrickett · 19/09/2013 09:45

Names in a hat is much fairer and doesn't penalise children who may not be able to be first in to the classroom due to circumstances they can't control or help.

The more I read this I'm actually getting quite . It is disadvantaging a lot of groups of children. What about the kid who cares for his disabled mother and consequently is 5 mins late every day? There was a little girl with CP at DS last school who had severe difficulties negotiating the stairs, she is never going to be first in to the classroom, nor should she be.

I take the point about not complaining as a parent but I actually think you should challenge this as a governor.

hackmum · 19/09/2013 09:47

That's outrageous!

I don't think being a governor should stop you saying anything. In fact, it gives you the opportunity to bring this up as a general principle in the governors' meetings.

There are two things wrong. One is that first come, first served, is a really bad way of making the allocations. The other is that they then operated in way that was really unfair, by allowing one girl to hand in three slips. Nothing wrong with complaining about lack of fairness - after all, doing things as fairly as possible should be an important principle in schools and anywhere else.

Poledra · 19/09/2013 10:03

DH is thinking about complaining about a similar thing at our school (at which I am a governor ). There was an after-school club advertised which was first-come-first-served. You had to go to the website of the company offering the club to sign up. So, Dh and I both work. We got home at 5.30pm, DD1 is desperate keen to go to this club. DH goes online - yup, all places gone. Most probably to parents who don't work therefore could get online at 3.30pm and sign their child up. DH thinks it would be fairer to advertise the club for a couple fo days before registration opens, then everyone gets a fair go at registering.

Could your DH speak to the school rather than you?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/09/2013 10:34

Do you know who was 9 or 10th in the queue? You could ask their parents to complain as they are affected too.

HawthornLantern · 19/09/2013 10:53

YANBU but I think Editededition's point is extremely good advice. In a way it is a pity that the first child in line was not carrying 10 names - that would have made it immediately obvious how flawed the approach was.

treas · 19/09/2013 11:21

The school my dc go to would have stated a return to by date and then pulled the 8 names out of a hat

sophiedaal · 19/09/2013 11:28

That seems really unfair, but I don't see why being a governor means you can't have opinions as a parent. Surely if any other parent had a problem with this, they'd bring it to you as a governor to raise at a meeting? Can 'a friend' have a child who was 10th in the queue?

BlackeyedSusan · 19/09/2013 11:47

crap.

hat is better.

hate wwhen schools do this.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/09/2013 11:54

I don't think the fact that you are a governor has any bearing on this. My Mum was a governor for eight years at our secondary and was openly critical of school process where she felt it was poor and worked hard to get things changed.

A governing body is supposed to hold the SMT to account, not just sit there nodding along while poor decisions are made and poor process allowed to continue.

Go in and complain as a parent, just as you would if you weren't a governor.

stealthsquiggle · 19/09/2013 11:58

It's a shit system, but if they are going to do it then it definitely means that you have to actually be there - otherwise it's really really shit.

As for being a governor - that shouldn't stop you. Friend is wife of headmaster and that doesn't stop her complaining when the school get stuff wrong not that the staff aren't scared of her. You are pointing out the shitness of the system, not saying "I'm a governor, I am, and my DC should get to go"

boschy · 19/09/2013 11:59

Agree with those who say complain as a parent. I'm a (secondary) governor and have complained about certain things.

You just have to be careful not to abuse your position, to follow the normal line of reporting etc.

And your role is not to agree with everything SMT does, but to question them!! (which I'm sure you know anyway)

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 19/09/2013 12:02

Definitely not a fair system. If a child can't get there early through no fault of their own, should they miss out?

Definitely try to get them on the names in a hat route.

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