To be sad about my three year old's constant requests for telly and the overwhelming tide of plastic and electronic crap? And WIBU

[Sockywockydoodah]

...to take all the annoying flashing stuff to the charity shop and start again?

Has anyone successfully done this?

Or weaned their toddler off constant requests for the telly?

Or got them to be interested in playing with their own toys (as opposed enthusiastically playing with friends' toys when round their houses, but ignoring their own)?

[BettyBottersBetterButter]

Good luck jimmy . We instigated some new rules last year after we felt our DC we're getting to fixated by screen time & it's worked really well.
No screen time before school. Ever.

Game playing (wii/ps3) once a week usually Saturday but can swop a day.

No screen time 2x a week - both days we are busy with clubs but they still used to squeeze in half an hour before bed whereas now they'll play lego or a game.

No free access to family laptop. Supervised & limited to half hour at a time each.

[BettyBottersBetterButter]

MrsK I think the problem usually starts with a sibling arrives and what goes from catching the odd Cbeebies programme to sitting for prolonged periods to keep them occupied whilst you tend to newborn. Also, in my experience (as mum of 2 and childminder to many), most children do seem to zone out when the tv is on and don't just dip in & out. They can then become fixated on it and that's usually when the behavioural problems people are talking about seem to occur. You may be lucky and have one of those DC who will carry on playing with the tv on in the background but most of us don't hence the need to regulate viewing time.

[Lottapianos]

MrsK, your 1 year old just won't be able to tune it out - his attention skills are not well-enough developed yet. Little children can only focus on one thing at a time, and having something else going on in the background is incredibly distracting for them.

The official advice is no screen time at all for under 2s because of the problems it can cause with attention and listening development, which is a really important part of later language development.

[HometownUnicorn]

sticking to a routine helps avoid any tantrums
rather than limiting to a number minutes, my nearly 3yo's viewing is restricted to certain times of day ie before breakfast, and after her nap.

She knows not to expect TV at other times, and although she might ask for it from time to time, she knows what the answer will be.

When we turn the telly off, I do try to make an effort to engage her in play for 5-10mins, and then quietly disengage and MN all afternoon get some chores done

[Ilovemyrabbits]

My dd watched telly from being born. It was the only thing that kept me sane when she was little. She never watched alone. I endured years of kiddy telly. Now she's 12 she watches next to nothing, shuns X Factor and Hollyoaks, unlike her school friends, and enjoys a good book and her music beyond all else. I understand the cries of 'why so much telly?' in this modern day and age, but I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.

And in terms of electronic and plastic crap I embraced it. Loved it. Pushed it on dd regularly with the knowledge that she'd be young for just a short time then I'd be worrying about short skirts and cheap alcohol. DD promptly turned into the kind of child who loved teddy bears (God I hate teddy bears) and never really bothered with toys at all much. She's not looking too fond of short skirts yet either, but I'm not counting my chickens.

Kids seem to find their own way despite regardless of what we do as parents. Admittedly, using the tv for babysitting duties is a bit of a worry, but age appropriate, suitable tv programmes don't do any harm in my experience.

[Feminine]

I followed an 'old fashioned' time table for my eldest. We didn't have a computer till he was 8.

That was it! by 10 he was fixing vintage macs and installing programs. Fixing x-boxes...old hi-fi equipment ( that he found in the street)

He was very drawn to it naturally

There is nothing "ugly" about it.

I agree that it is calmer and more pure during the early years, if we are able to limit tech.

[Vintageclock]

YANBU to find it all sad. I really hate all singing all dancing cheap plastic toys that children demand and then lose interest in after ten minutes. A few well loved well crafted toys would be the ideal but it doesn't seem to work like that these days.

Likewise with television. When I was a child there was only a couple of hours of programmes aimed at children every day and they were, in the main, pretty good quality - Blue Peter, Jackanory etc. Nowadays there's an endless supply of kids' programmes and while some of them are lovely there's an awful lot of crap in there as well.

Oh, to roll back the years .

[MrsKoala]

Cheer Betty and Lotta. I don't really know what i would do with him without TV. I don't have it on all the time (anymore) and i know he loves being with people more and running around, but he wont play with any toys. Sometimes i just sit with him on my lap watching baby jake and singing and he sings and dances too. He seems to love it so i put it on for him. Of course we do other stuff, but after 4 hours of running from room to room and playing peebo - i really need to do something else and thought it would be better for his development too. At the moment i have a chest infection and bad period and the house needs a clean so to tv will be on probably more today than normal. I also live somewhere very rainy, don't drive and don't know anyone - so outings are limited.

[JimmyCorkhill]

We did it !!! Thanks for all the good luck messages.

It was surprisingly easy. I didn't really miss the tv at all. Nor did DD1. In fact, it took her till the evening of day 1 to ask about it. She did tend to ask everyday but we told her it was broken and she accepted it (probably because all our stuff tends to break - woe is me emoticon!)

Again, the laptop was not missed either. Apart from when I was at a pre school committee meeting and everyone had read the emailed policy which was being discussed except for me . Felt like I was at school without my homework!

I made sure I put an activity/toy on the rug each evening ready for the next day and this worked amazingly well. Old ignored toys got played with, like the car mat and the baby dolls.

DD1 seemed much calmer during the week. Mornings and bedtimes were less hassled and tantrums were fewer (sadly not eradicated!!) I really enjoyed not having the tv which is amazing because I am the worst offender in this house.

Like someone said upthread, I tended to play for 5-10 mins to start DD1 off then she was okay and I could do other things if necessary. But we also did much more together and she concentrated for much longer.

Unfortunately, DD2 barely slept so I felt like a zombie everyday. I had imagined extra hours appearing but I didn't really achieve much more. The house has not been spring cleaned but I did keep on top of the washing up!

I think the real test will come now. I'm basically an all or nothing person. I need to be able to have the tv on for a short time then say that's it and deal with the whinging. To be honest, DD1 is watching a Peppa DVD as I type this and I can feel myself getting ratty with her as she clambers over me/the sofa/leaps onto the floor. It's like a step back so I'm going to post this then switch it all off again.

Thanks OP, you've really made me think about how we live. Hope you have had some success too .

[fuzzpig]

That's fantastic jimmy, well done!

If you keep going, it won't take long before they are all accustomed to it. We are in week 4 I think of no telly mon-thurs and neither ask anymore.

And as you've found, it may be that when they do watch something it is a much bigger contrast in behaviour, which acts as a great incentive to carry on.

[fuzzpig]

BTW I brought home a book called 'remotely controlled' by Aric Sigman which is about the tv issue. Might be worth a look

[dogdaysareover]

Million, I have just bought an in-car dvd player. I previously viewed these as instruments of satan, however when ds started escaping his car seat (he is 2) and I had exhausted story cds/singing/playing spot the tractor, i had to take desperate measures. I take many long jouerneys alone with him as my family are all a two hour drive away. Yesterday en route home from a weekend with gps, he sat an watched 'the gruffalo' on repeat. Did I feel guilty? Hell yes. Did ds attempt a death defying escape whilst I was doing 70 mph on the motorway? No. So, I consider it a parenting victory. Sometimes you have to just swallow your principles and let technology be your friend. Sometimes.

[JimmyCorkhill]

dogdays I think if the DVD kept your son safe then don't feel guilty at all.

Thanks fuzzpig. I like your idea of Mon-Thurs being tv free. Well done for doing it for so long. I'm going to check that book out too.