To have said no to this request RE: DD's birthday party?

[muminthecity]

DD is turning 8 next week. Money is very tight at the moment so we are having a party at home, on a shoestring budget. We live in a 2 bed flat so space is an issue as well. DD has invited 12 children from her class, I am expecting 8-10 to turn up.

One of the girls invited has a younger sister in the year below. DD knows her but isn't particularly friendly with her. Anyway, this girl's mother sent me a text in reply to the invitation saying "Hi, thanks for the invite, X is really excited about the party, but as the girls are too young to understand that they don't always get invited to the same parties, I can't possibly bring one without the other. Is it ok if I bring them both?"

I was a bit taken aback by this tbh, the girls are 6 and 7 so not babies and surely at that age they should be able to understand that they can't always go to the same things? Also, many of the other children invited have younger siblings who are not invited.

I replied to her saying "I'm so sorry but I just don't have the space to invite siblings." She then replied saying that her DD would not be attending as she would hate to upset her little sister. She also mentioned that both girls were "very disappointed" with a sad face at the end.

So, AIBU? Should I have just said yes and let them both come? I'm feeling guilty now that X has to miss out, but also think that it would be unfair to invite her sister but none of the other siblings. Not to mention the space/money issues!

[QuintessentialShadows]

Oh, you have woodland to host parties in, lucky you!

[WetDog]

You missed the bit about the hired woodland Quint

[kali110]

'You know, nice parties' ?wow. Op had a budget and could barely fit the guests that were invited.
Bet the other guests would have been bit disappointed that their kids siblings couldnt come but this girls could?
None of this really matters though, op had a guestlist. The mother has ruined it for the invited daughter, not op.

[Saffyz]

YANBU

[coldwater1]

YANBU i have 8 kids they all get invited to friends parties and it has never been an issue with the younger siblings, they'll have their turn when they get an invite to a friends party. Its life.

[IslaValargeone]

Still laughing at midori's party guests engaging in a lord of the flies experiment

[exoticfruits]

Don't feel guilty and don't change your mind!

[hettienne]

Well I threw a party for 100 people and it cost £500 and my party was significantly nicer than yours.

[muminthecity]

'penny pinching sour faced misery'

I can assure you I am not a sour faced misery. Unfortunately, as much as I love a good party, I have bills to pay, and food to buy. They get priority over parties at the moment. £300 is way more than I could possibly afford. I think the party will still be 'nice.' I'm not planning on serving bread and water and lecturing the children on the importance of frugality in the current climate . I'm not charging an entrance fee either .

There will be all the usual party food plus games, and my sister is a dab hand at face painting and balloon modelling so I'm sure the children will have fun.

[FrussoHathor]

Who has a £300 budget for a child's party?

[muminthecity]

Having said that, midori, I'd hate for you to be worrying about all these poor children suffering at the hands of this sour-faced misery, so for your sake I will PM you my paypal details and you can pop £300 in there for me, so that my party can be as 'nice' as yours. You're welcome.

[mameulah]

YADNBU

[EastwickWitch]

You should not feel in the least bit guilty.
It's such bad manners to even ask to bring a sibling. It was absolutely the right think to text her & say no.
I'm sure your DD will have a lovely time with the friends that she actually invited.

[midoriway]

I am standing by my penny pinching misery comment- Look at the vitriol this mum has attracted for daring to ask if her other kid can join in-

"The cheeky cow just wants free child care for the afternoon."

"Emotional blackmail irritates the life out of me."

"What an ill bred woman"

"those types of people don't tend to learn anything from being enlightened about their behaviour"

"She was being lazy, and using you for childcare"

"He is know as the party bag thief in our house.- super mature comment from a grown adult about a young kid there.

How precious are spaces at your parties? Are you giving out Faberge eggs in the party bags?

But yeah, screw me, with my blinging 15quid an hour community garden hire, lording it over everyone else. Goodness me.

[LaVitaBellissima]

You can't hire a garden in at this time of year though!

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

Limited space at party. You invite who you want. Not the rest of their family.

[Chippednailvarnish]

So Midori what happens when each child attending wants to bring their siblings and the OP hasn't got the room nor the money to entertain them?

[InsertBoringName]

"You know, nice parties" Meow!

[BlackAffronted]

midori, I am surprised you have any friends to invite

[GlobalWarning]

Midori, are you the other mother?

[Floggingmolly]

Do you take every invitation your children receive as a bring the extended family free for all, midori? If so, those comments you find so distasteful apply equally to you.

[muminthecity]

midori - None of those comments were made by me. In fact, I haven't said anything nasty about her, all I have done is point out that I'm skint and don't have much space. I don't see how that makes me a 'sour-faced misery!'

[PTFO]

YADNBU. I'm sure your daughter will have a lovely day!

[Bunbaker]

"I can see i am in the minority here, but I subscribe to the "more is merrier" school of party invites, and so do explicitly invite siblings on the invite. Parents are also invited, and there is beer or wine for everyone. I throw the kind of parties I would like to go to, you know, nice ones. I had my 8 year old's party last week. We ended up with about 35 kids plus parents. It was a blast. probably total budget of 300 quid. BBQ dinner for everyone, plus the hire of a local community garden/woodland that we had all to ourselves. Kids ended up creating some kind of lord of the flies experiment, and mums and dad's happily ignoring it all having a chin wag and a drink. I am not rich, and I live in a in a one bedroom flat, but I like to have big parties and cut my cloth accordingly."

Midori You obviously haven't read the OP's original post. She specifically stated that she couldn't afford a large party and didn't have the room in a 2 bed flat. Besides, it is also a big risk organising an outdoor party at this time of year. £300 is a lot of money for many people. Please have a little more understanding.

Or are you the other mother?

[Bowlersarm]

Midori, are you the dd friend mother?