To wonder how having two kids is easier than one?

[superstarheartbreaker]

My friends tell me that two children is easier than one because they play together. I only have one and I find it really hard work. I do want another in the future but worry I won't cope.
It sounds a lot harder logistically and financially.I think it is lovely to have more than one but then I love the lifestyle I have with one. I am in no position to procreate anyway atm as am single and this is purely hypothetical. Thought I posted this thread earlier but I lost it!

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

For the first year two kids are three times the work of one, but it gets easier after tha.

[ILoveDolly]

You should try three! Some lying bint told me it got easier with each child but its. Not. True

[Ilovemyself]

We find it easy with 2 18 month olds and a 6 month old. They can be trying at times, as can any child. But generally they play together, keep each other company and have a close bond. Our 6 month old is desperate to playbwithnour 18 month olds.

acrylicplexiglass are you being serious with the comment that it is not fair on your child to have another so close in age? There are equal ( if not more) good reasons for them to close in age.

[FixItUpChappie]

To wonder how having two kids is easier than one?

um....its not. To suggest otherwise is a massive generalization.

[whitesugar]

My experience is the same as LondonMother. The first 3 years with 2 DCs were really hard. The the next 7 were pretty tough as well. They went through a phase of killing each other when DD was 11 and DS was 9. That seemed to abate a bit as time went by and now at 16 and 14 they are great friends. Their friends are friends and hang about together, its lovely having a lot of children in and out of the house. I think having a sibling gives them a bit of confidence. Well it does if they get on with one another. Two close friends of mine have one child each and they say its hard work keeping them amused and they always have to invite friends over. I suppose there is no ideal situation. I always wanted lots of children until I had two and decided that that was absolutely it. I don't regret that decision.

[LongTailedTit]

This is not great reading when pg with #2!
DS will be three when DC2 arrives if all goes ok.

At least I won't have the 'people are less willing to take two' thing - no one has been able to help in that way since DS was born anyway

[MrsCakesPremonition]

You know some children struggle with the idea of sharing toys? Well they also struggle with the idea of sharing Mummy, Daddy, bedtime, mealtimes, the car, the TV and everything else. They constantly monitor everything that is going on around them in order to ensure that they do not "lose out" to the other.
They only play nicely together when I have completely removed myself from the situation, they cannot play nicely if I am in the same room - the temptation to vie for my attention is too much.

They are also lovely, funny, entertaining, loving, kind and gently children but there is a dark side to their relationship which I find hard to cope with - probably because my DSis is 10 years younger than me and was beneath my contempt while we were growing up so we never fought much (I think she if rather fab now ).

[SoleSource]

Have your second baby when the first child is six. Upon the second child reaching the age of two, first child is eight. Babysitting and housework sorted!

[Zoe900]

It has not been easier for me. It has been more than twice as hard. they are so competitive. they fight. I have to make time to spend time with both on their own. I have to make sure everything is fair, but they are both the judge of what is fair. it is really really hard having two. Having one was easy. if I knew then what I know now...........

[Zoe900]

Agree with posters upthread, having just one child with you is almost the same as being childfree, so calm! I don't know if I've adjusted to having two children yet (7 years in)

[MurderOfGoths]

"having just one child with you is almost the same as being childfree, so calm"

Damn, I picked the faulty one didn't I?

On another note why oh why did I read this thread while pregnant with a second child????

[SoupDragon]

Anyone who thinks having one child with you is anything like being child free probably hasn't been child free for a while :)

[marriedinwhiteisback]

A lot depends on what you want. I found the first four months of that first baby the hardest. Two for me were physically demanding (3.5 year gap) but was the end of a journey to get what I desperately wanted and the birth of no 2 brought me inner peace and emotionally I found inner peace.

If you want two, can afford two and have stable circumstances then have two; if not stick at one.

[cory]

The trick, of course, is having a second child who is easier than your first. Entertain those fairy godmothers lavishly! If necessary, order in some new crockery!

I did find that in a sense having a second baby made life easier, because I had to spend less time worrying about him and I also had less time to worry about no 1. It did make me realise how much of the stress and exhaustion was actually created by me, not by them; once I didn't have the time to do that, life did in some ways get easier.

And if you are lucky enough to have two children who get on well then a lot of your entertainment problems will be solved- at least in the longterm. We did go through a horribly rough patch during the early weeks, but that has been outweighed by years of them amusing each other, comforting each other and (lately) being able to go out shopping together while I put my feet up.

[Thepowerof3]

Any amount of kids are hard work but so worth it

[Wilma123]

I had 18 months between the 1st two and 11 months between the second and third wasnt always easy, but we had a great time when they were little we painted - play doughed - it was like living in a nursery - my Friends who left big gaps struggled with activities because there children were at different stages. Now they have grown up they still get on great they have the odd spat but nothing bad x

[PoppyAmex]

cory I think I love you.

Thanks for that post.

[HolidayArmadillo]

I get the poster who said they wouldn't consider having another until number 1 was at least 5 as it wouldn't be fair because personally I couldn't cope with 2 at home all day, at least when one is at school you get that 'break'. I have a 6.5 year age gap between my two as it wouldn't have been fair on either child to have a smaller gap as I would have been a terrible mum to 2 kids at home all day. Just ask my two now at the end of the summer holidays

[SHarri13]

I found 1-2 an absolute breeze and they still are now but they have their moments. Imagine a friend over to play, they just entertain each other.

Number 3, however, has pushed me over the edge and I don't know if I'll ever come back. It's terribly hard work!

[FloraDance]

My BIL put it well I think when he said that one is a full time job and so is two. I did find two mentally much easier but it was physically exhausting.

[NiceTabard]

I have two. I remember by brother and I playing loads when we were little and thought that sounds good for parents and children. The risk is that they might not get on.

Anyway they are 6 and 4 now and they do get on very well and that is a real bonus as they will go off and play together and we only need to intervene when there is a row or something. But generally the pressure is off. Also the older one will do stuff like helping the younger one get dressed, putting the toothpaste on the toothbrush for her and so on.

When they were younger it was bloody hard work though and at that point I felt that having 2 was more than twice the work of having one, and I found it really difficult.

[MsVestibule]

I found having two babies 20 months apart incredibly difficult and was off and on Prozac for two years. I'd never suffered MH problems in the past, and was suffering from stress rather than depression.

Having said that (to reassure those pregnant with their second child!), I think it was the stress of looking after a very difficult toddler full time - well, I found her difficult to look after; a more competent mother would have done a better job! Obviously throwing a newborn into the mix didn't help, but with hindsight, I'm not sure that having 2 DCs close together was the main issue.

They are now 6 & 4, generally play together well and enjoy doing the same things, so I'm now very glad I had them close together. Most of the time.

[IvanaCake]

Having 2 is easier in some respects but damn hard in others. So much depends on the age gap too imo.

I have a 23 month gap and the first 2 years were bloody hard work. Now that they are 3.5 and 5.5 though they play together loads so I no longer have to sit and play barbies/tea parties for hours.

I do find the bickering, competing for my attention and endless talking waring though!

[Groovee]

I found the early years hard. Now they are 13 and 10, they have been so much easier since ds was 5 and dd was 7. It's had it's ups and downs but I don't regret any minute of it. They get on fairly well and have their moments. I get equal alone time with them now and they have great personalities it's great.

The arguments can get on my nerves big style. I was brought up and only child as my siblings were teens when I was born, so not used to all the arguing.