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AIBU?

To actually prefer my own company and to prefer being a bit of a loner?

93 replies

Haloqueen · 18/08/2013 23:57

Have I become seriously weird or what? I used to be fairly outgoing and very sociable in my youth etc but I am increasingly finding that people in general ,including my extended family,friends etc just get on my bloody nerves most of the time.I am now 48 and married with 2 teens and far prefer just pottering at home doing things like baking/sewing/mumsnetting/bit of tv than going anywhere socially. Myself and dh often stay up till the early hours watching a movie,drinking wine etc at weekends and the only thing I enjoy doing outside of the house is walking the dog. Obviously I have to do a bit of necessary shopping, school run etc as we are rather rural.Everyone just annoys me most of the time outside of my own little family well they annoy me too but thats different.
AIBU to carry on like this or will I become a complete eccentric,antisocial loon?

OP posts:

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mrsharrystyles · 19/08/2013 09:40

YANBU
I am exactly the same. I gave up work a few years ago and absolutely adore the days at home by myself. My DH will retire in a few years and I am absolutely dreading him being at home all day ruining my solitude. I've told him he's got to get a hobby that takes him out of the house all day.

todaysdateis · 19/08/2013 09:44

I'm a bit like this in that I like my own company and find other people annoying but and its a big but I hate being in my house on my own - I live alone, children have left home, no other half. So I'm on my own a lot.

Just looking forward (ha not really) to two weeks off work. Due to circumstance I will have four weeks off in an eight week period. I hate, hate, hate it!

Mind you I don't particularly like my job but at least there are people there who I can talk to if I want or ignore if I want.

Started going out more recently and it just emphasis that when I go home I am by myself. I try and make reasons to stay out of the house I can just about cope with a weekend but to have all this 'empty' time in front of me is making me feel really down.

meganorks · 19/08/2013 09:47

Jeez, I hope I don't get like you when I'm older. How depressing! And even more concerned with how many people agree with you! Although makes sense now about AIBU. I think you have been spending too long on here. This will give you new ways to irritated by everything.

Most people are annoying sometimes but everyone is not annoying all the time so YABU. But if you are just going to be grumpy and irritable with everyone then probably best be a recluse

Shinyshoes1 · 19/08/2013 09:56

I LOVE it and so hear where your coming from

I do most things by myself , the park , just laying under a tree, the cinema , the pub in a corner with a pint and a good book , I'm off to Belfast in December for the Christmas market , I'm in Essex so it's a fair few miles but unfortunately a friend has invited herself but I was more than prepared to do it myself

UtterflyButterfly · 19/08/2013 10:00

You're definitely not unusual or abnormal OP! I do think it's a bit to do with getting older - I'm 58 and have come to realise that I don't HAVE to go out and make small talk with people I don't care to much about anymore.

I have a few good friends I like spending time with but left to my own devices I wouldn't arrange much of a social life. We did go out to a barbecue yesterday, and I enjoyed it, but I was itching to come home by 9 o'clock (nothing to do with the fact I was driving so not drinking, and DH was getting a little tipsy - oh no!).

As long as you are happy with the way you live, and not lonely, then what's the problem?

DeWe · 19/08/2013 12:15

Pom I feel like that too.

Lavidaenrosa · 19/08/2013 12:49

I feel the same and I am 28 years old.

orangeandemons · 19/08/2013 12:51

I'm the same, I hate people sucking off my energy, I my energy for me.

quesadilla · 19/08/2013 12:58

YANBU
Solitude is one of the most under-rated things. The older I get the more I enjoy it.

farrowandbawl · 19/08/2013 12:59

OP there are loads of us just here

farrowandbawl · 19/08/2013 13:00

Orange you need the thread I've linked to as well.

chirpchirp · 19/08/2013 13:43

YANBU, I enjoy my own company. I get shit from my friends because sometimes I like to do social stuff by myself too.

For instance, I always book a week off work at the beginning of August to go and enjoy the Edinburgh Festival. Although I do arrange to lots with friends I also make sure I have at least a full day to myself to be selfish and go and see the comedians I want to see. They think that it's weird to go to a gig by yourself. I also love going to the cinema on my own, no one whispering oh it that that guy from thingy or noisily eating beside me.

PoppyAmex · 19/08/2013 13:58

One of my favourite authors once said he doesn't tend to like people who hate being alone.

His logic was "if they can't stand themselves, chances are I won't either". He also said the best companionship is made out if two good loners.

I like that.

mignonette · 19/08/2013 14:06

I much prefer to have most of my time to myself. I don't socialise generally with work colleagues as in my profession that way lies unhealthy work/life balance nor do I confide particularly in the friends I do have. I enjoy talking to the MNers I have got to 'know' but my DH and I prefer to spend our free time together. In fact if we do not see each other 'enough' we both feel pretty unsettled.

I am pretty insular and if God forbid something happened to DH I would likely become a complete hermit out of work and I am as certain as any Human can be that I would never be interested in another relationship. My job is essentially a verbose one, from patients if not myself and so I do crave total self indulgent alone time. I would adjust very well to life in a far flung place devoid of human one to one interaction although people tell me I am a warm person (which sounds a little self aggrandising, I know.)

I need a lot of reading time too.

farrowandbawl · 19/08/2013 14:33

I've noticed that people who need to be around others all the time tend to call themselves "social butterflies". I call them exhausting.

TobyLerone · 19/08/2013 14:42

YANBU at all.

I like it when it's just me, DH and the (teenaged) DC. I actively avoid social occasions most of the time, even with immediate family.

Now I am pregnant with DC3 and am suddenly dreading the thought of having to be home alone all the time with a baby and no friends in the same situation. I am starting to think that forcing myself to socialise will be the only way to stop myself going insane. I don't know which will be worse.

encyclogirl · 19/08/2013 15:01

Love being on my own love it. I have a lot people wanting a piece of me on a day to day basis, and the times that I am just with dh and the dc are fantastic.

I love being around both dsis?s and dsil. They are brilliant company and easy to host/be hosted by. I have fab friends too, and (once I go) I love our nights out.

But I much prefer my home, my lovely family and me. I would choose that over anything else.

Shrugged · 19/08/2013 15:08

YANBU in the least, but you know that. I'm not annoyed by other people, I just enjoy solitude more than the company of all but my dearest friends, and they are spread out around the world these days. However, now I have a frenetically sociable toddler, I have to spend more time out there....

LimitedEditionLady · 19/08/2013 15:42

Nah its not an age thing,i am in my twenties and mostly find people a bit too stressful

Haloqueen · 19/08/2013 18:46

meganorks you are just annoying me now!.
I am pleased to see so many others feel likewise and I am not as weird as I thought.I do think with me it is an age thing though.I guess I just dont have the patience any more with people.Probably more to do with the fact that I no longer care what people think.Thanks to all of you for your replies.

OP posts:

NorksAreMessy · 19/08/2013 18:54

I would just like to point out that meganorks and I are not the same person, despite our Norky names.

I am proud to have started The Introverts Thread and welcome all of you who find the pace of day to day life to fast, or feel that your own company is just fine thanks.

Shelly32 · 19/08/2013 20:19

People can be hard work! When I moved 40 mins from my hometown, friends/acquaintances that I would have made an effort with kind of dropped out of my life and although I'm still very close with 3-4 friends, my life is happier and pretty much drama free.
I also like my own company (and that of my husband and kids of course) and find lots of people have annoying opinions and habits that I can happily do without. I am pretty opinionated and have some odd habits too so maybe the people I'm referring too are relieved by this situation too !

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Shelly32 · 19/08/2013 20:19

To, not too!

UnexpectedStepmum · 19/08/2013 20:44

Me too! I am beyond relieved to hear from so many kindred spirits, and the Introverts thread is gold. I really thought I was quite strange and anti-social but I'm an introvert.

farrowandbawl · 19/08/2013 20:50

Unsocial not anti-social.

Anti-social makes us sound like we all need ASBO's.

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