To actually prefer my own company and to prefer being a bit of a loner?

[Haloqueen]

Have I become seriously weird or what? I used to be fairly outgoing and very sociable in my youth etc but I am increasingly finding that people in general ,including my extended family,friends etc just get on my bloody nerves most of the time.I am now 48 and married with 2 teens and far prefer just pottering at home doing things like baking/sewing/mumsnetting/bit of tv than going anywhere socially. Myself and dh often stay up till the early hours watching a movie,drinking wine etc at weekends and the only thing I enjoy doing outside of the house is walking the dog. Obviously I have to do a bit of necessary shopping, school run etc as we are rather rural.Everyone just annoys me most of the time outside of my own little family well they annoy me too but thats different.
AIBU to carry on like this or will I become a complete eccentric,antisocial loon?

[Aprillygirl]

In the nicest possible way you've become jaded in your 'old' age. I'm the same now, especially in the winter. I like my own company and when I don't have to go out I'm more than happy pottering around the house doing my own thing. I'm sure it's quite normal.

[Petloverann]

I'm not a new mum but I am a mum I have 6 children 7 grandchildren 4 great grandchildren and been married 51 yrs . My problem is I find it hard work to socialise with folk I dont enjoy it . I'm much happier being with my family then other folk . We have place aboard in a small complacent and I hate going round the pool because someone will always come and chat ! I just want to be left alone but folk just cant leave u in peace . I was reading my book and someone says that must be i interesting? Yes it is bog off . This area of tenerife is full of expats who all live in one another's pockets . Well I'm not like that but my husband said I'm acting standoffish. When we go out to local bar / reasturtant folk say hi how long u here for ect and are you coming up next Tuesday? Yes my husband says ! I hate it just leave us in peace .

[TobyLerone]

So with you on going out with the girls, farrow.

DH and I have barely spoken to each other this evening because we were both socialising separately this afternoon. We're both definite introverts and are just 'talked out'. So we've sat quietly together watching tv.

[digerd]

I too find crowds all talking at once exhausting. Much prefer a 1 on 1 interaction and always did.
Retired, widowed and orphaned with no grandchildren, but have a little dog now. Have always loved the peace and quiet and open air, but didn't have it until I was 40.

[guiltyconscience]

YADNBU imho this could also be me I don't even like going away on hols! I do have a very close family however so they more than make up for any friends I may miss out on.

[farrowandbawl]

It may be depressing to you but not to others.

For example, nothing depresses me more than knowing I've got to go out with the girls. It irritates me from the Monday before, by Friday I'm almost crying. It's nothing personal, and nothing general...it's just the way I am.

It's sad to you because you are not like that. To someone else, it's prefectly fine.

Keep your pity, we don't want it.

[Buildingamystery]

I find it a little sad too. Sure I enjoy my own company but some of the comments here are depressing. Sad not to enjoy the pleasure of the company of others.

[whitecloud]

This thread is great. I find I freeze at social occasions and can't think of a thing to say. I sometimes think we introverts think hard about what we say to people and listen and it does make it more tiring - you are right. I crave solitude sometimes. I have never, ever been interested in drinking to excess, parties, social chit-chat, small talk, getting dressed up, thinking about how I look.... Am telling my dd to find like-minded people when she goes to university by joining clubs with a common interest - not everyone is going to be wildly social or drink or be party-minded. It is tough when you are younger and you aren't an extrovert.

Really agree with your sentiments over entertaining. Have never seen the point of it - if you want to catch up with someone, far better to go to the pub or for a meal when you'll actually have time to talk to them, rather than slaving over cooking and spending your time in the kitchen with no time to see your guests properly anyway.

IMO an awful lot of the done extrovert thing is a way of people trying to show other people how great, rich, pretty, successful they are..... yawn!

[RubySparks]

I agree BeastofBurden, social interaction is exhausting, I suspect I concentrate more and listen actively which is very tiring and better done 1 to 1 than in party mode. I did used to be better at parties but that was due to alcohol intake! Without it I find it hard work.

[Haloqueen]

Thats ok norks,my pleasure . Its heartwarming to engage with such lovely like-minded souls.
Its weird actually with me because in the past few years both my dcs and my dh have been diagnosed with Aspergers so they all struggle to different extents socially so on the one hand I have to really make an effort to encourage them to socialise,go out with friends etc but inwardly I am railing against it.Tomorrow,for instance,dd16,is going into town shopping with a few schoolfriends and I have arranged to take ds13 swimming with a friend of his and I am dreading it already.No idea why,just wish tomorrow was over and we were back home all nice and snug.

[encyclogirl]

Loving this thread more and more. I work as an account manager so I need to have my game face on for clients and co-workers all the time.

The very nature of my job is relationship building. As a result I have a lot of colleagues and customers that invite me to all sorts of events and social activities.

I have to try and balance that what I really want and need - to retreat into my family/home bubble.

Of course my teenagers are on a mission to ruin this for me with their burgeoning social lives, so any chance I get to be on my own, or on our own I grab it.

When I'm done with this job I'm taking about 3 years off to just be at home and potter. Oh my God just thinking about that makes my heart beat faster!

[Beastofburden]

Those posting here, are any of you from the US? I have a theory that it is harder to grow up there as a true introvert, as the norms there are so fiercely extroverted, in education especially. Be interested to know if I am wrong about this.

If I had to go to North America it would be Canada for me... Do we have Canadians here?

I like people and am very interested in what makes them tick. That's why I like to see them one at a time and talk properly. But it's also what makes social interaction tiring at these parties. If you skate over every social interaction and listen to half of what's said, you can tolerate parties etc much longer. If you listen and pay attention, you will quickly be overwhelmed. I don't think introverts dislike people at all, it's just we pay more attention to what is going on, so it's more tiring.

[orangeandemons]

Xmas, I have plenty of people in my life I want to spend time with. But I choose to limit them as much as possible. The best person I want to spend time with is me

[ConfusedPixie]

I disagree about it being an age thing, I've never really been into people. I'm 24. I go to mn meets and I'd like to meet afew locals so that iI have a couple of friends, but other than that, happy alone!

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I blame things like Facebook, magazines and soap operas. You see cliched stereotypical behaviour portrayed as if it is the norm and that you're wierd if you don't so those type of things yourself. I'm talking about 18-30s holidays to Magaluf, hen nights/weekends away, big events for 40th parties etc. what you never see/ hear about is people choosing to NOT have wild hen nights or who just went on a nice meal out with their other half for their 40 th etc. All of which are actually very common, only no-one wants to admit to it for fear of looking like a weirdo.

[LimitedEditionLady]

Yeah i have a job were you have to have a smile plastered on and talk to everyone even when you arent in the mood.At home i have a child to entertain and focus on and so i just like my time to myself.Some people want to go out in their free time i do attend things but prefer to be on my own.

[NorksAreMessy]

halo thank you for starting this thread and allowing me to high jack :) and I LOVE 'continuing down that lovely quiet road'

To have a whole peaceful, gentle, day is a blessing. My job requires me to be upbeat and jolly and friendly and I do love it, but I couldn't do it if I couldn't also be peaceful and quiet and creative.

I have a theory that most quiet, gentle people are kind. I would love to research the theory, but that would need me to meet lots of people...so I am happy to accept anecdote as data in this instance :)

[Thecurlywurlymum]

YANBU. I live in the middle of nowhere, no neighbours and miles from anywhere. I love the peace and quiet. I also love my dh and dc (15 and 20). I enjoy spending time with the dogs and my horses. I have a lot of friends in town but my worst nightmare is anyone just 'dropping in' unannounced I not that keen on having anyone here at all to be honest, just feels like an invasion. I decided several years ago that I had put up with being around people I didn't like, respect or have any respect for me so I don't anymore. Don't give a toss who I've offended. Dh's extended family mostly who saw this place as a good holiday destination. Buger the lot oh them I think. Sad old loner? Maybe

[Monty27]

Xmas it's not sad, its choice.

I like spending time with people. When I want to.

[TobyLerone]

Xmasbaby, I think you'll find that none of us introverts are 'sad' about being introverts, nor do we need you to be sad on our behalf. But thanks.

[daisychain01]

I love the home bubble idea. I enjoy pottering around.. With my pots, actually on the patio and making the house look nice with a few bits of cross stitch. That probably sounds antiquated, with all the cut and thrust of modern living, but that's me.

We don't own a TV so I think that must make me a luddite! I prefer one to one relationships, cant abide those hectic parties, with crowds of people, where you realise you havent really said anything meaningful to anyone the whole evening. Much prefer to 'put the world to rights' with one special person, or two at most.

Quality, not quantity!

[farrowandbawl]

I dream of earning and saving enough to buy a big field in the middle of nowhere with lots of trees and build myself a house - my dream house. With no neighbours, no people, long tall grasses, trees, evergreens, snow, a stream and one of the rooms will be a massive library, full of books and one big, overstuffed chair, by the window with a side table that has a large lamp on, and a basket of warm wool blankets on the other side of the chair. And a dog. A big lazy furry lump of a hound.

I may even have a large shed for pottering about with my hobby in.

[ConfusedPixie]

YANBU, I'm exactly the same. Me and DP and a film or something and I'm in my happy spot! Or just me and whatever I want to do!

[Fakebook]

I like being alone too. But I have two very active children and one very sociable little girl which means I'm having to leave my comfort zone more and more because of her. In the past I've been known not to answer the home phone for days at a time to avoid talking to people including family. I got told off for that so now have caller ID.

Before meeting DH and having dd, I used to dream about buying a wooden hut in the middle of the woods and living there alone forever.

[Monty27]

I do work full time, so need head space :(