We moved in together in June after 2 years of knowing one another. He got on well with my kids (aged 12 and 14) and I got on well with his teenagers (who we have over every saturday night).
Ive never been houseproud, he is. So this is one thing we've had to work together on and compromise about. He's accepted the fact that I'll never play the part of the good little wife at home all day mop in hand and I've accepted the fact that I need to work a little harder at keeping the place as tidy as pos baring in mind that I do work full time too. Housework is probably 70/30 with me doing the majority but he does a lot of diy/gardening etc so it balances.
My kids are also having to come around to the idea that mum is wanting to be tidier and keep a nicer house and have started making progress - putting pots straight in the dishwasher instead of leaving in the sink, taking shoes off at the door etc. DP admitted the other day that they're making progress.
New situation - we have just bought a £2k sofa. It gorgeous but not kid proof so we're having a "no eating on sofa" rule (apart from when his kids are here apparantly but I digress). So the other day both my kids took chocolate milkshakes into the living room and sat with them on the sofa. DP went in and told them to not drink them in there. DS2 said "ok" and took his to the kitchen. DS1 also said "ok, ill take it through there in a minute." he didn't and continued to drink it on the sofa. DP caught him. DS lied and said he wasn't drinking it, just holding it. out of order, I agree. DP was pissed off and they had a little argument about it.
But that was last week. Today DS2 did the same with a bowl of soup. I told him off, ordered him back to the kitchen and banned him from the TV for the rest of the day. Sorted. DP comes home from work, I vaguely mention it (not really thinking it was a big deal) and he goes mad, starts shouting at DS2 and goes all weird and animated and starts dancing about laughing like a mad man. To the outsider it would have looked like he had lost his mind. The kids giggle. He goes mental and starts on DS1 about the milkshake episode from last week!! something that not only was a mountain/molehill scenario from the start but something that I assumed to be last weeks news so to speak. He gets all shouty at him - ds1 gets upset, turns thee defensive on and asks DP why he has to be such a dick. All hell breaks loose. I send DS1 upstairs - DP is shouting up after him "yeah see ya!! bye!!! cya later!!!" wtf??? and he wonders why they laugh at him??
Long story short - mme and dp start arguining in which I say he's out of order having a go at ds1 for something that happened last week and was sorted - he says we're doomed because the 3 of us gang up on him, it's a circus and he can't be arsed anymore. He says he could maybe have coped with my kids when he was younger but not now (he's only just turned 40!) and in light of tonights events - he'll just now let them "do whatever the fuck they want."
Was I unreasonable in all of this?? I'm willing to admit blame if I was.