To hate the term full time mum

[Dylanlovesbaez]

I hate it! Just because I have to go to work does not mean I stop being mum on those days! I am a full time mum and a part time worker.

[pommedechocolat]

Yes, its her trying to feel superior. Point out that technically she's unemployed.

[MoleyMick]

It makes me do an inward eye roll but doesn't bother me too much. I've a full time job and I'm a mum. When I freelanced from home when they were babies I was a stay at home mum.
For people who say I'm "not a full time mum" because I work, I just assume that they are people with whom I would have very little in common/would probably not get along with, so why would it matter what they think?

[Forgetfulmog]

Yanbu, I bloody hate the phrase too. I'm a sahm but I don't think of myself as anymore or less of a mum than a wohm.

[NeedSomeSun142]

there are jobs that are school time hours

[HappyMummyOfOne]

Full time mum is a rubbish name used by those who dont work and trying to avoid saying they are unemployed. Unless they HE and their child never leaves their side to go to friends, school, clubs, grans etc then all parents have time away from their children.

Full time or part time relates to hours in a job or college course, nobody stops being a mum or dad whilst they are out providing for them.

[HumphreyCobbler]

'also when children are at school age there is no reason not to get a job apart from lazyness'

Gosh, I have not worked for the last year because I have enough money to afford not to do so, not because I am lazy. I have spent my time looking after a large and complicated garden (because I love it), looking after lots of animals (because I am lucky enough to own them), volunteering in my local school and preschool (and being extremely helpful to them as I am a qualified teacher) and looking after the house. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to live this lifestyle but I am not bloody lazy

As for the full time mum description, it is just a shorthand way of describing what you do and means you do not have paid work. It is not a slur on mums who work

[charlottehere]

Don't like it either. I am a stay at home mum, don't do paid work.

[HumphreyCobbler]

When I worked I would not think of being offended by someone describing themselves as a full time mum. I think people must be terribly insecure about their choices if this bothers them.

[Dylanlovesbaez]

It's just the way she says it and the fact that she's always got time to get a massage or get her hair done! Yes I am a bit jealous. She just makes me feel guilty every time I see her but unfortunately I can't avoid her as if I did I wouldn't see anyone else as she is part of 'the group'. I'm the only one of us who works so that's another thing that makes me feel crap!

[treaclesoda]

Mums who work usually do ALL the housework etc? Really? Single mums presumably do, but in homes with two parents present why on earth would just the mother be doing the cooking and cleaning etc? I don't know anyone whose husband expects them to do all the work

[IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat]

What about me and DH then? We both work part time to share the parenting of DS between us. Does that make us both part time parents? Or does it not count as we're not paying someone else?

It's a wanky term. OP YANBU.

[MissBeehiving]

Okaay, so only paid childcare makes you less of a parent?

What about people whose children are cared for by relatives for no payment whilst the parent works, are you a full time "mum" then?

Babysitting is paid "childcare" - so conversely you're not a FTM if you go out in the evenings?

Do you become a FTM once your children are at school?

[charlottehere]

I don't class myself as unemployed... I have a job... SAHM.....otherwise I'd have to pay someone to do my job.

[HumphreyCobbler]

So it is actually one person who is annoying OP, rather than the blanket term?

[diddl]

"also when children are at school age there is no reason not to get a job apart from lazyness"

Ooh, I'm happy to be lazy then!

Just walked the dog & am now going to bike to the local Lido for a swim.

As I have done every day this week, & will probably do every day next week...

[Yonionekanobe]

kilmuir that is one of the most ridiculous and frankly offensive things I have read on MN (which is saying something).

[NeedSomeSun142]

you should feel better not worse! what do they do when children are at school? household chores that you have to do after finishing work.

[Dylanlovesbaez]

Humphreycobbler I am insecure about my choice but after sitting down and carefully going through our finances there was no choice. I don't criticise those who stay at home, good for them, but as a working mum I feel criticised.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Thing is if you look at it from the POV of the so called "Stay-at-home" Mum they may not see that as a good description for themselves either - maybe they don't actually stay at home much but like to be out and about with the children ?
Purely in terms of their own experience they may well feel that "full time Mum" is the most accurate description for their life role ATM.
It isn't (by most people !) meant to cast any aspertions on other people's mothering/worklife balance.
I'm surprised anyone would say to you that you're "only a part-time Mum" (because you also have a job) - that's very rude and clearly ridiculous !

[charlottehere]

I don't think it is necessarily lazy to not work when children at ft school.disclaimer I am lazy my DS is only a baby though.

[Dylanlovesbaez]

Yes it is mainly one person but she has led me to hate the term!

[HumphreyCobbler]

Surely it just means they are looking after children all the time?

It is very hard to describe yourself when you do not work, I found myself floundering around as people just want a short description rather than a full on list. I usually just said I didn't work at the moment, which was blatantly not true as I was busy all day, but it was a shorthand term. As is full time mum.

[Flobbadobs]

Have you ever tried to get one of these jobs needsomesun? They are like hens teeth and go within days.
Aside from that many families work very well with one parent, mum or dad at home to cover sickness/inset days/holidays etc. it is not laziness! It is a choice for the most part, I agree with you there but it is a choice that is made, in general, very carefully and is fully thought out on both sides.

[onedev]

Totally agree Janey. I do like the idea of Working Time Directive Regs being implemented!

[treaclesoda]

Dylan don't feel insecure about your choice. Look how stay at home mums get bashed too, it doesn't matter what you do, someone will tell you you are wrong.