To get cheesed off with people telling me I should 'get a little job'?

[LukewarmBath]

My youngest child is due to start school in September. I am getting very fed up with people telling me (totally unasked for advice btw) that I need to 'get a little job'. One of the mums at school, who is a total busybody and doesn't know me very well at all, even printed off details about a lunchtime supervisor job that is going at the DC's school because she 'thought I'd like to get a little job as mini Lukewarm is going to school soon'. People constantly ask me if I'm going to get a job. Even family do it.

The fact is, I don't really need to work financially. DH has his own company and I do a lot of his admin work for him as well as lots of cold calling and dealing with invoices. But because it's from home, no one seems to think it's a proper job. I go to the gym, meet up with friends regularly and go on lots of nights out, so it's not like I need the 'adult interaction' from a job either.

I just wish people would mind their own business!

[garlicagain]

Shed, you've just reminded me of some of XH's antediluvian rellies On hearing that we met through my very full-time job and I wasn't retiring upon marriage, they kindly allowed that it's good for a woman to have her own pin money. I was in the top 1% of earners.

I smiled gratefully and said, yes, I do buy a lot of pins.

[comingintomyown]

FFS enough with the "cant even get a job in -insert retailers name- " its offensive to those of us who do in fact work for one of them. Right up there with "little job"

[spanky2]

When people say anything like that to me I tell them dh earns the money and I spend it. They don't know what to say then. There is a constant disregard for how hard it is to look after your family . I miss earning money .

[comingintomyown]

I miss a DH earning the money and me spending it

[Beechview]

I cant believe someone printed off a job for you!

I have a 'little' job in that its a professional role but I only work 2 days a week. I'm always being asked if I'm going to go full time or worse, if its even worth me working after childcare costs.
People should just mind their own business

[Notsurewhattodonext]

My youngest starts school in September and I have just handed in my notice in a senior management role to be SAHM. what would they make of me? My DH is out of the house 15 hours a day and abroad at least a week a month. Both of us working doesn't add up so I am going to thoroughly enjoy shopping, gym and coffee come September before deciding what I want to do next.

[Wilberforce2]

This drives me crazy! I have one DS who is starting school and everyone including random strangers ask me if I'm going to get a job now as if I've spent the last 5 years sitting on my arse. My Sister phoned earlier about a job in her hospital but I said no because its an hour away and I have zero help with childcare, she then started going on about "what am I going to do with my time when ds starts school" like its any of her business!

What they all don't know is that I'm 11 weeks pregnant, cannot wait to tell them and shut them up!!!

[Flobbadobs]

'A little job' always strikes me as a phrase used alongside a pat on the head, a little head tilt and a patronising smile..
Just tell them you work with your husband, or smile and say nothing, let their imagination run a little.. Well someone has to win the lottery don't they!!

[MortifiedAdams]

Id just say "oh no, I couldnt do that - I might be taking the job away from.someone who actually needs or wants to work!" then do a clutches at pearls gesture.

[TabithaStephens]

This thread is descending into stealth boasting.

[AdoraBell]

Tell them you already have a job, admin for the company DH owns.

[bearleftmonkeyright]

I have a little job, I'm a lunchtime supervisor. Tell them to try it and see how little it is! It's not pin money either. Every penny goes into running our household. I am.training to be a TA. Tell them to fuck off, you have a job!

[SixPackWellies]

I recently jacked in my job because with commuting and childcare that cost about £300 per month more than I earned.

I now do freelance, and work with DH in his (getting off the ground) business.

We recently had guests to stay and the husband said when he found out I had 'quit' work 'well, it was not like you were ever going to be a high flyer now was it?'.

and today he sent me info about a local community group who needs someone to take their minutes for them once a month to keep me occupied.

3 DCs. 3 degrees. 1 PhD. A specialist in my field.

tell em fuck em I say.

[PeppermintCreamsSaga]

I have a "little job". I work 2 days a week for local government, and I still get asked when I'm going to be doing a "proper job". I earn nearly the same money working 2 days, now that I did when I started working full time 15 years ago in a "proper job". (Yes, I know about inflation!)

It doesn't matter what you do work wise, someone will think you're doing it wrong. Just say how lovely it is to watch Jeremy Kyle and eat chocolate all day. It will confuse them!

[HappyMummyOfOne]

OP just tell the, you already work for your DH. They are likely to be just making conversation and most SAHM's do return to work once their children are at school as no real reason to be home in the day.

Goodtouch, its a shame you have wrote yourself off so early in life. Putting all your eggs on one basket is a huge gamble. Should you split from your DH you would really struggle to quickly gain work to support yourself and children.

[usuallyright]

there are loads of people out there working round the clock, kids in daycare, juggling different things...and fucking hating every second.
They're not trying to help you find a little job.
They're jealous of you.

[internationallove985]

Well politely tell people to mind their own business, then. You don't owe them anything. x

[gintastic]

Humpf. I have a 'big job' - I get people telling me what a shame it is I have to work. Currently on mat leave with last baby, loving the summer but will be glad of the academic stimulation of my job come September.

Can't win.

[HiggsBoson]

Bleugh. Some of us are married to men who earn less than 20K y'know.

I'm a SAHM AND I work.

I'm fucking shagged and I could do without kept women rubbing their lifestyles in my face

[fedupofnamechanging]

I get annoyed by the idea that a sahp has no justification for sah once the dc have started school. I have plenty to do when my dc are at school. The school day doesn't actually last that long and schools have frequent holidays. In the last couple of weeks before the holidays, I had each of my dc off sick, in turn. I would hate to have to balance family life with a job.

I figure I put in the hard graft when the dc were tiny and now it's my time to do what I want

I, too, would like to know where all these jobs are, that women are supposed to get.

[LondonMan]

OP, make sure you pay national insurance when you're working for your husband's firm. Not that I think the state pension will still be around then!

The OP will know this, but for anyone else who doesn't, it isn't actually necessary to pay any NI in order to get the rights that paying NI brings. Just set salary at the right level, £7696 this year, and you will pay no tax or NI, but will be over the salary threshold where your are treated as if you had paid NI.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

Higgs, dont let them get to you. Remember all the good points of working. Should things go pear shaped a SAHP has no salary to fall back on, is likely to struggle to get a job etc.

You are showing your children you can parent and work, they can achieve anything they want as well as have a family. Its not just financial benefits that come with a job.

[GoodTouchBadTouch]

"I'm fucking shagged and I could do without kept women rubbing their lifestyles in my face"

I didn't see anyone doing that.

"its a shame you have wrote yourself off so early in life"

I wouldn't say Ive wrote myself off. Or that Ive written myself off. We have 3 properties (2 without a mortgage) plus investments and more inheritance to com. My husband makes good money, and would have to be a spectacular bastard to leave me with no way of providing for them.

[GoodTouchBadTouch]

"The school day doesn't actually last that long and schools have frequent holidays. In the last couple of weeks before the holidays, I had each of my dc off sick, in turn. I would hate to have to balance family life with a job"

Exactly. And all for a part time job in a shop?

[x2boys]

well your lucky for not having to work just tell em to bugger off!