To not care how 'friendly' your dog is, if you can't control it, it should be on a lead

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I'm neither a lover or hater of dogs but this is beginning to piss me right off rankle.

Near to where I live is a lovely lake. Nice path, children's play area, ducks etc. Popular in this weather.

I was out walking today with DS 2.6 and DD 6mo. As has happened on so many occasions now, we'll be stood feeding the ducks, only to have somebody's dog come bounding along to us, no owner in sight (the path is quite bendy) and start sniffing about. Now, obviously the sniffing I don't mind so much but DS is a bit wary of dogs and today one started trying to lick his face and was licking at DD's feet in the buggy. The owner then saunters around the corner, calling dog's name (to which it pays no attention) and then looks endearingly at the dog and at DS's worried expression and says "oh don't worry she just wants to give you kisses". No attempt to get control of the dog at all.

I gave tight-lipped half smile and turned away resisting urge to wipe DD feet with an anti-bac wipe

[samithesausage]

My ds (age 4) is terrified of dogs, so we ended up changing playground parks (one in a children's centre so no dogs allowed) because I got fed up with "it's all right he's being friendly". Last experience I had, the dog came bounding up to him, ds starts crying and climbing up me, then the dog turns to his baby brother and takes a bite out of his chocolate bar! I'm turning into victor meldrew!

[Wallison]

^^everybody does things that incenses somebody else. The trick being mutual accommodation and consideration

I don't see why I should either accommodate or consider a fucking animal. Humans, yes, but not animals.

[Nanny0gg]

Went to the seaside the other day. Lots of families on the beach, lots of children.

Lots of dogs. Mostly off lead. Bounding up to children, chasing their beachballs, running in and out of seated families. Peeing and pooing where they felt like - including over child's dinghy (tide not due in for a few hours), ignoring their ineffectual owners.

One jumped up to a toddler and (unintentionally) scratched him, as he was bare-chested - it being the beach and everything - and scared him.

Spoilt an otherwise lovely day.

[PenelopePipPop]

"I don't see why I should either accommodate or consider a fucking animal. Humans, yes, but not animals."

Because by accommodating the dog you are implicitly accommodating its owners. Owning a dog and caring for it and enjoying its company really really matters to some people. Not me and obviously not you but some people. So I tolerate it because it is all part of getting along with the diverse spectrum of weirdos around me.

Just as raising a child and getting to enjoy her company gives me intense pleasure but not everyone wants children.

Of course some dog owners are nobbers and some parents are nobbers. But the majority are just normal people like me who for reasons I do not fully understand want to keep a noisy smelly animal in their house. Those of them who do not like children may be equally baffled by my decision to keep a noisy smelly toddler in mine.

[Quenelle]

There's a fabulous park near us, with a big, lake that you can walk round, with loads of footpaths going off it into big, grassy meadows. It's a wonderful natural area in the middle of a large town, but it's ruined by dogs bounding around off their leads.

I'm not scared of dogs, and neither is DS. I've always believed 99.9% of dogs to be friendly and harmless, but recently an old man walking in the park with his wife was bitten on the hand by an off the lead dog and had to have plastic surgery. I won't risk that or worse happening to DS.

I want DS to be able to run ahead of me on the path, exploring and enjoying a bit of freedom, but I won't take him there any more.

[OrmirianResurgam]

My dog couldn't give a stuff about you TBH. You are simply not that interesting. If you are furry and have 4 legs, if you have a tendency to scurry up tree trunks or if you are a stick, he might pay attention. And no, I let him off the lead because I can't run with a dog on the lead and he likes to be able to sniff about. But humans? Nope, not interested. When we pass people I will call him to me and make him walk to heel but only because I know that some people don't care for him.

[PenelopePipPop]

It is the nature of AIBU Buffy that people who have had bad experiences post first. I don't think anyone is actually attacking you and I agree that you are a responsible dog owner. Some people are understandably venting. I don't think you need to get a grip but some of the more aggrieved statements being made on here could be taken with a pinch of salt. I've probably said grumpy things about other people's irritating small children after long train journeys in the past and only now I have the 3 year old who Will Not Stop Talking do I realise that these things do not come with a sodding off switch.

The overall thread has been dominated by dog owners and not owners agreeing that its is reasonable for dogs to be under control in public places. Which you agree on too. There is the problem that what 'control' means varies from dog to dog. And people only notice the dogs that are not well-controlled. Dogs which are on leads in parks, rarely bark and come immediately when called are invisible.

[Wallison]

PenelopePlipPlop, I don't see how you can compare raising a child to having a dog. One is human, the other isn't. One has or should have priority, the other shouldn't.

Quenelle, that is a real shame. So many areas are made unpleasant by off-lead dogs (not to mention the piss and shit they leave behind) - we should start to reclaim our open spaces.

[PenelopePipPop]

I'm not saying dogs and children are equivalent. Nor is anyone else on this thread. I'm saying that if we want to try and get along with other people we accommodate the fact that different people have different priorities. We don't accommodate dogs because they are important per se. We accommodate dogs because they are important to other people.

I don't like motorbikes much. The road I live on is popular with bikers, and noisy and dangerous as a result. But riding motorbikes gives other people pleasure so I would never seek to ban riding motorbikes. For the record this does not mean I think motorbikes are like children.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

When I was young I only ever met very well trained dogs - working or retired working dogs (from the police or farms). So I am definitely not afraid of dogs. I also have the confidence to block a strange dog who tries to put his face in my pram or picnic.

That said, I am cautious of dogs locally because here they are family pets owned by amateurs and the range of training is vast. I'm cautious of dog owners, really, as I don't believe any individual animal is born dangerous/antisocial.

The rule we have for our DC for all animals is "don't scare it". In effect that means giving it plenty of space and approaching calmly and with caution. It also means they no longer bring me spiders .

[Wallison]

I think there is a bit too much accommodating going on though. Sure, if you want a dog, get a dog; makes no odds to me. But I don't see why my enjoyment of open public spaces should be compromised by other people and their desire for their dogs to run around off-lead, pissing, shitting, barking and biting as they go.

[BeCool]

not read whole thread - but even if it is the friendliest dog in the world the chances are this dog has just eaten another animals faeces or worse, right before it "kissed" your DC.

[BeCool]

it's seems apt to post here what I just posted on another thread:

my DD is fearful of dogs and DD2 looks like she is learning from her sister. it's dreadful. I support her to get to know friendly small dogs etc but she isn't having any of it. I've done this since a young age - no change. (she is also frightened of kittens, puppies and cats but has no problem at all with snakes, spiders and bugs).

people who let their dogs off the lead and then give me and the DD's dirty looks because we don't love their dogs fuck me right off. I used to be a dog lover - but the attitude of dog owners in this country is a huge reason why I am now indifferent to them AT BEST.

Except when I stand in dog poo when I openly loath them all

I get really angry/upset with the patronising looks, the oh dears, the head shaking and tutting the DD's and I get from dog owners because DD/s react to dogs either off the lead, or on a long lead bounding everywhere. Like there is something wrong with them. FFS not everyone likes dogs!!

Shove your freaking dog up your patronising arse I want to scream at them. But I don't - we just keep as far away from them as we can - which can be rather difficult when someone's smelly hairy bundle of bounce is unrestrained.

The amount of times I've heard "don't worry he wont hurt you" - which spectacularly misses the point! So we should be grateful the dog won't bite us???? and be so grateful we should be ok with the slobbering and bouncing and unrestrained behaviour. FFS they have no idea.

Rant over - cheers

[BeCool]

We live in zone 2 London. In a flat. There is a small park across the road with grass and a play area. Except the children can't really play on the grass area as it is a dogs toilet.

Every day I walk passed and will see several dogs doing a crap, and no children playing on the grass. Local parents don't want their DC playing in a dogs toilet.

Couldn't' the 'considerate dog owners' get their dog to poo in the gutter or some other hard place where they can easily pick it up. Why do they take them to the only local grass to crap on? Especially when this grass is part of a small park and playground?

[Wallison]

Similar story here in lots of areas, BeCool, although not in London but another city. Precious scant green spaces ruined for people by dogs shitting all over them and running around off-lead. It's entirely different in the countryside - country dog-owners train their animals properly so even when they're off-lead they will go back when called, and a lot of them just roam around farmland and don't bother anyone anyway. But in urban areas, especially around here where having a fierce dog and never using a lead with it is seen as a status symbol, they are not to put too fine a point on it a dangerous menace and they spoil the few green areas that we have.

[Wallison]

Although, having said that, there are small gains being made. For example, there was a grassy area next to a footpath leading to DS's school, where the local rough types used to let their dogs off-lead to fight and shit all over the place and scare small children on their way to and from school. After much wrangling with so-called dog-"lovers", the school got permission from the council to turn it into a forest school, so now the area actually is being used for a good purpose for the community, and the kids can walk down the path without having some feral fucking hound snapping at them. Good.

[PenelopePipPop]

"country dog-owners train their animals properly so even when they're off-lead they will go back when called"

Seriously? Where did you pick up this impression? At least in rural Derbyshire where I live it is not true. Dogs that live in relative isolation and see far fewer people are much more likely to be hostile and bark at strangers because they don't see many of them. Working dogs will always come when called, but only a minority of rural dogs are working dogs and every year round us sheep get destroyed by dogs that get loose in fields and will not come back. There are farmers who shoot dogs who get on to their land but most of my farmer friends are dog-lovers and would rather do anything but this if they can.

And country people often don't pick up because they assume no one will walk the same way as them.

When I lived in cities I met fewer badly trained dogs, although I appreciate picking up is a big issue because if only one person fails to do it in a small park it can screw things up for loads of people.

[BeCool]

YY re lots of fierce breeds of dogs not on leads around here too - often with teenagers.

Thing is I used to class myself as a dog lover. I was crazy about dogs up until age about 30. I've had several wonderful dogs. But living in a big city has changed my outlook on pets such as dogs and cats completely. The issues esp re their waste, are massive. And it's not just about the pet owners as we all have to deal with these problems.

At least cats do keep rats and mice levels down - shame about the birds though.

I do know a few people with really well behaved well looked after pets and I still enjoy contact with those animals - but I am increasingly anti-dogs in the city.

[Pizdets]

My puppy used to come back 100% of the time when called, but since the sun's come out and the park's full of sunbathers and families it's a nightmare. Not because he's after food, or because he jumps on people (he will usually trot over and keep a safe distance as he's a bit nervous) but because he's soooooo cute, people can't resist calling him over.

It drives me mad, they'll hear me calling him back and will offer food or try to call louder to tempt him to come to them instead. Yes he's small and yes he's cute, but my mum's allergic to dogs and I was brought up to believe dogs shouldn't get into anyone's personal space unless they want them to. However, because most people encourage him now, he believes he's adorable to everyone and it's getting harder and harder to get him back. I don't disagree at all if you're upset by dogs in your personal space, but if you're the kind of person who calls to a cute puppy to stroke it without the owner's permission, then bear in mind you're contributing to the problem for other people!

[ZolaBuddleia]

I challenged a man recently whose dog frightened my DD, and told him directly that he had no control over it. His face was like this:

I'm not normally confrontational, but I was with a friend and felt a bit braver. Unless people actually say something that is clear and direct, these people will think that their witless uttering of "he's just being friendly" is enough.

[Lambsie]

My son doesn't understand how to behave around dogs and due to his very severe learning difficulties may never understand. I cannot take him to places where dogs are allowed to run free. What really annoys me is taking him somewhere where dogs are supposed to be on leads but selfish owners are letting them loose, frequently out of their sight.