To not care how 'friendly' your dog is, if you can't control it, it should be on a lead

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I'm neither a lover or hater of dogs but this is beginning to piss me right off rankle.

Near to where I live is a lovely lake. Nice path, children's play area, ducks etc. Popular in this weather.

I was out walking today with DS 2.6 and DD 6mo. As has happened on so many occasions now, we'll be stood feeding the ducks, only to have somebody's dog come bounding along to us, no owner in sight (the path is quite bendy) and start sniffing about. Now, obviously the sniffing I don't mind so much but DS is a bit wary of dogs and today one started trying to lick his face and was licking at DD's feet in the buggy. The owner then saunters around the corner, calling dog's name (to which it pays no attention) and then looks endearingly at the dog and at DS's worried expression and says "oh don't worry she just wants to give you kisses". No attempt to get control of the dog at all.

I gave tight-lipped half smile and turned away resisting urge to wipe DD feet with an anti-bac wipe

[FloJo151]

totally agree op, my ds1 and ds2 had a bad experience with a dog - in park playing with a ball each. dog comes up to ds1 and starts barking and circling (prob wanted to play with the ball) ds1 trys to run away but trips and falls, dog continues to circle him barking. Mil (who was with them at the time) goes over shoos dog away and picks up ds1 who is balling his eyes out by this time. turns around as hears ds2 screaming. ds2 is now somehow on the floor with the same dog circling him and barking. owner nowhere near. Mil finlly finds the owner and has a go but now have 2 ch who are petrified of dogs. Iv worked really hard over the last few years to change this and we have finally come to a point where they are able to do the standing still ignoring the dog til it goes away and can even stroke some friends dogs! After the incident they would become hysterical when a dog came anywhere near them.

the other thing tht annoys me is not putting signs up to warn you have a dog. dh was delivering leaflets and was being very careful when delivering to houses that had dog signs. He went to one house which had no signs, lifted the letterbox and pushed the leaflet in and suddenly with no sound of warning got bitten quite hard by a dog(he had to go to the docs to get it bandaged and was on antibiotics)

please if you have a dog put a sign up warning people, ds1 was with dh helping and it could easily have been his finger bitten off as he was only delivering to houses that didn't have dog signs

[PenelopePipPop]

"I don't think YABU OP, but also I don't think dog owners can't win sometimes!"

I'm not sure that is true. You and a lot of the dog owners on here sound perfectly considerate. The key thing is you realise that your dog's behaviour could upset people and you do what you can to control it. You don't think the onus is on parents to just stop their children having a fear of dogs.

Having a dog bound up and be friendly can be a positive experience for a child if all the adults around are reassuring. When we were on holiday at an aire on a French motorway my 3 year old got a faceful of golden retriever saliva after a very very friendly hound bounded over to her when stretching his legs during a long car journey. She very sensibly stayed still but was obviously freaked out and I picked her up to reassure her whilst saying 'No' firmly to the dog. The owner raced over, put the dog on a lead and apologised very sincerely to my DD whilst explaining that the dog loved children and was being too friendly. He then walked the dog away to another part of the aire so my DD could play and so could the dog. I then praised DD loads for responding calmly even though she was frightened. So what could have been a horrible hostile experience was actually something that built her confidence around dogs because both the owner and I took her feelings seriously.

Both dog owners and parents have a duty to help children feel safe around dogs. It isn't either/or. The dog owners who get defensive and imply that it is a parent's duty to make their parents tolerate dogs unilaterally annoy me because I think they are too blinkered and their 'It's not my fault you haven't taught your kids not to be frightened' attitude can translate in to not taking appropriate consideration for the feelings of small children when out and about. But dog owners who take time to hold their dog's collar whilst saying 'Do you want to say hello?' are lovely. Thank you.

[arabesque]

YANBU. Some dog owners are incredibly gormless and seem to see nothing wrong with smiling idiotically while their pet terrifies a small child or slobbers over an obviously uncomfortable adult. And no, inane remarks like 'he's very friendly' or 'he's just playing' are of no help whatsoever.
Just keep your dog under control and away from strangers in public spaces.

[northlight]

Perhaps if thoughtless dog owners could imagine being the size of a small child or imagine their dog scaled up in relation to them, they might understand the child's apprehension.

I'd like to see how some of these 'my dog's just being friendly' would cope with something the size of a small pony jumping on them.

i'm bitter because one morning a dog with muddy paws jumped up on me. I got the 'don't worry' speech to which I replied, 'I'm on my way to a job interview and your dog has just smeared mud all over my suit.' 'Well I didn't know that,' was the witless response.

[GrimmaTheNome]

YANBU, and all responsible dog owners will agree.

I've never been hurt by an out-of-control dog but my last dog was - basically stood on by a much larger friendly dog who really did only want to play.

[catpark]

My DD1 is highly allergic to dogs. Her skin reacts terribly to it. Looks like a burn. it was worse when she was little and had excema as well, it would end up weeping.

So I don't care that your dog is friendly, trying to say hello as it licks and jumps on her. And you as the owner stand there telling me not to be so silly and not moving the dog. I ended up shouting at one owner who told me I was making a fuss about nothing, and that I needed to get Dd1 used to dogs as her giant dog stood with it's paws on Dd1's shoulders. Even after telling her Dd1 was allergic she still insisted I was being silly, until she saw Dd1's face swelling up. She then pulled her dog off and hurried of still muttering about silly mothers !

DD2 was knocked over by an overexcited dog who charged into our garden as the gate was open. No apology from the owner, just a 'Oh he's being friendly'

Get a fucking lead.

[Flobbadobs]

I am a dog person, don't mind being licked at all and love seeing them out enjoying themselves, DH and the DC's are the same but I worry when unattached dogs approach us. The main reason is that at the moment Dd2 is at the poking and prodding stage, we control it by holding her hand and encouraging gentle stroking, getting her to hold her hand out etc but she's 18 months old! Toddlers are not known for gentleness..
The other reason is really just because as a childminder I usually have a large group of children with me. The calmest friendliest dog that approaches would not stay calm for long in the middle of a lively group of primary age children, nor would I expect it to.when it's happened before I have intervened on behalf of the dog, tried to find its owner to be told "he loves children". Good, I'm glad, they love dogs too but dogs, like humans have a limited supply of patience!
spacegoat the first thing we taught the DC's was to approach the owner not the dog and ask if they can stroke it. It's usually apppreciated by the owners.

[spacegoat]

spacegoat the first thing we taught the DC's was to approach the owner not the dog and ask if they can stroke it. It's usually apppreciated by the owners.

Absolutely! It is very appreciated!

[Flobbadobs]

Bleeding hard work enforcing it at time though! DD1 is convinced that every dog is smiling at her and tries to work out what it's saying

[Canidae]

I'm a dog owner and the words 'he's just being friendly' make me cringe. Many dogs need off lead time to run and sniff and just be doggy but owners must take the time and effort to train good recall and manners. I have worked bloody hard to ensure my dogs don't go too far and stop on a whistle/come back with a call and sit by me when bikes/people/horses pass.

I have a GSD that likes to lick children so if he is approched by kids I will give warning. If I have said that he will lick and parents still let their kids pet him then it's not my fault right?

Flobbadobs I would love to know what your DD would think my dogs were saying!

[PastelMacaroons]

Ah the famous last words:

"He won't hurt you, he's friendly". Just before the Alsation sank its teeth into my mothers leg as she cycled into her own drive.

A well trained dog wont even bat an eye lid if you walk past.

Last night at a village pub, three huge dogs, one a dog de bordeax dominated the out door area.

When my DD walked past one, it was straining on the leach after her.

We sat behind them and then they let the lead go.

So we had to then modify our behaviour because I was wary of the dog.

Then the other dog owner saw our baby and was watching his dog like a hawk and gripping its lead as they walked past. Which was great....but why did he have to do that?

[PastelMacaroons]

the first thing we taught the DC's was to approach the owner not the dog and ask if they can stroke it. It's usually apppreciated by the owners

I am a dog owner and I am quite strict now about saying to dc who have not ask to stroke - to ask, and praise the ones that do.

I also tied up my dog in a quiet spot to then find, about 8 pre shcoolers all crowding her, she was looking distressed and the parents happily watching on all chatting!

[Dickwhittington]

you most certainly are not
pet hate of mine

[stopgap]

YANBU. Where I live now (NYC) the leash laws are far stricter concerning dogs. Dogs can only be off lead in city parks before the hours of 9am and after 7pm. This makes for a far more pleasant experience at the park for the majority, in my opinion.

And I say this as an owner of two dogs.

[jeanmiguelfangio]

YADNBU my dad does this with his dog, I bloody hate it. Not everyone likes your dog, I'm not overly keen to be honest. I certainly don't want it round my 4 month old either.

[Dickwhittington]

my child's behaviour around dogs is nothing to do with what I have taught him and everything to do with the irresponsible behaviour of dog owners in the past

[DiseasesOfTheSheep]

As a dog person who'd rather meet loose dogs than children ( ) I agree. If you have a dog, you have a responsibility to keep it under control in all environments. The risk of it scaring a child, or chasing a horse, or destroying ground nesting bird nests, or getting onto a road, depending on the circumstances, are too great.

My current dog is always off the lead because he's great [smug]

My previous dog OTOH once gate crashed a wedding as he was a slightly more "independent" beast

[Madmum24]

I just hate this! Dog owners thinking that everyone else shares their passion for their dog.......

Several years ago we were having a BBQ in a nice beach which is popular for dog walkers (signs up everywhere that dogs must be kept on leads) Anyway this boxer came bounding over to our BBQ and started licking the meat, dh starting trying to shoo it away frantically and then the owner appeared without a care in the world, not even an acknowledgement let alone an apology! DH then not very calmly told the owner what happened, owner exploded and said it was the dog's right to enjoy himself!!!! I despair....

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I think some dog owners just don't understand that some people just don't like dogs.

I don't want a dog slobbering over me or my DS. I don't hate dogs at all but I wish that when a dog decides to come over the owner would come and get it rather than standing half a mile away ineffectively calling it.

Plus I hate the 'oh it's just being friendly', thing. I don't care. I've seen enough dog bites on children to know that a family pet can still bite a small child. It happens.

[Mhysa]

Yanbu, my DS is terrified of dogs and we now have a dog, but it's not helping his fear of strange dogs, I think the owners attitude sucks when they just say 'don't worry, he's friendly' I don't bloody care how friendly it is, how whould you feel if my DSs pet spider was all over you? He's very friendly you know! Grrr.

I used to spend a lot of time in Richmond park and had some awful experiences there, one Labrador very 'affectionately' grabed DSs drink from the pram and bit through the bottle, so DS was without a drink for an hour untill we got home, owner couldn't careless that a toddler was dehydrated midsummer

And some wonderful Staff owner who threatened to punch me as I politely asked him to call his dog away from DS, he said she friendly, just wants to play and got agro when I said, well DS doesn't as he is terrified! Plus numerous picnics ruined

[Mhysa]

Also would be terrified of my kids being knocked into water if was near a pond.

[5Foot5]

I have yet to encounter one who call their dog back with any success

Exactly! But you see this all the time and the owner must know the dog is not going to respond but presumably they think if they do some ineffectual calling it will make them look like they are responsible and in control.

We were recently out for a walk on a public footpath that crossed fields. A woman and girl were walking some distance away with their two dogs off leads. The dogs came tearing up to us barking and circling furiously. I am not afraid of dogs and these dogs did not come quite close enough to be really threatening, but they did not go away they continued to follow us and snarl at us. DH is not very comfortable with dogs, better than he was but never totally at ease.

The woman kept calling them and of course they didn't take a blind bit of notice. When we finally met them on the path DH challenged her, not aggressively or shouting, just "Do they always behave like this?" She didn't answer and looked quite miffed and I presume went away talking to her daughter about the awful man who didn't like Candy and Yappy or whatever they were called.

But I think for a child or someone with a genuine fear of dogs this would have been a terrifying encounter. They were completely out of control.

[Minifingers]

Well, YANBU

My dog doesn't jump up or lick - I think this is completely unacceptable and I've done everything I can to train her not to do this. She always comes when she's called unless she's enjoying a good roll in fox shit But her eyesight isn't great and it impacts on the way she approaches people. Anyone who looks vaguely like me or any member of my family she runs towards grinning at, veering to one side at the last minute as she realises it's not us.