to be a sham even though I can't afford it?

[Picoo]

I would really like to stay at home with my DS I don't really enjoy my job and I would like to be a full time mummy. The thing is we could only just about afford it. We would have to pay interest only on our mortgage, give up insurance such as health and maybe house insuranc my husband would have to work longer hours, etc. We would be pretty poor, and we have zero savings, but at least I would be with DS.

Is it crazy to live a poor existence but be there for DS, or should I go back to work and be more financially secure?

[Sokmonsta]

I'm a sahm because we can't afford for me to work! We had twins after dd1 and ds1 and childcare would have wiped my wage and some. So if you would have Ivf, this could be a real possibility for you. I'd think how having twins would affect you financially.

As im only recently a sahm, Things are tight towards the end of the month but with savvy shopping, we're getting there. Savings are currently a thing of the past but we've managed to keep up with all our previous bills. I shall be looking to make cutbacks there soon as there are things we just aren't taking advantage of anymore.

I was insistent that if I sah we would keep up with our content insurance and tbh if you're at home all the time, the chances of needing it or taking advantage of home emergency cover on it will increase. We've had our boiler fixed, drains unblocked and a plumber on our emergency cover, which came with the contents. It's saved us several £000 which we otherwise would not have afforded.

[peteypiranha]

How much does your dh earn? You can get up to 70% paid for you.

[MrsBrownsGirl]

I wonder whether OP's DH would lie on his death bed thinking how glad he was to have worked more? OP being a SAHM will get more time to spend with the DC but presumably they would see their father less if he has to increase his working hours, how would this be fair on the DC or on DH?

[HappyMummyOfOne]

Sheer madness to leave a job that means you have no means of paying the capital on your mortgage, no house insurance and no way of saving should something happen. Does your DH know you plan to inscrease his working hours to fund your choice sacrificing his life and time with his child? Very selfish.

There are lots of other choices you can make, work PT, switch roles, find an evening job etc. Life without any money is awful, why would you choose that? Do you really want your child to grow up in poverty because you dont fancy working?

Realistically, how much do children as adults remember of their pre school years? Not much at all. You can juggle work and raise children easily if you put a little time and effort into it.

The IVf is a red herring, it sounds like you can barely afford one child let alone another.

Add in that years out of the workplace will mean it will be very hard to find employment in future and the change to UC for tax credits sees an end to the state funding a non working adult to stay home.

[NandH]

I'm a SAHM to a 4month old and a 2yr old...mainly because my wage wouldn't even cover childcare costs for the pair of them and dos income covers rent,bills,insurances! And tax credits,maternity pay and CB pay food bills, clothes etc! We can do it, just about, but we don't do many luxuries :)

[MarshaBrady]

The op might be able to afford two children if she works, no idea without more information.

[peteypiranha]

Marsha - She said she needed to pay for ivf if she wants a second.

[MarshaBrady]

Pete I know, I got the impression the savings are there for it so it would be possible if the op stayed at work. But risky to use savings for it if not.

Seems a big thing to not do as a result of not working.

But it's a personal thing, they may be ok with that.

[peteypiranha]

On a wage like 26k you would get most of your childcare paid.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

What does your DH think about this? Is he happy to work longer hours, see less of his family, bear the entire financial responsibility of the household?

I personally wouldn't do this, it is just too much to risk living on a shoestring with no savings.

[peteypiranha]

Yes will still apply. The government want people to work so are definitely continuing with child care subsidies.

[charlottehere]

Don't do it!

[pinkballetflats]

Like many have said if yoy're going to be so skin that things like an emergency fund can't even exist then I think you're pretty insane to consider it. Without an emergency fund what would you do if the car ire boiler broke down? How would your H get to work? How do young intend to payoff your mortgage principle at the term of the loan? What if your DHAKA becomes ill long term and you have no savings or insurance to cover your living expenses fir a few months. These are not bridges to cross when you come to them without the posts bring firmly pinned to the ground!
That being said, have you been to money savings expert and gone through their money makeover feature? It could help you see what you can and cannot afire and would be invaluable to keep you on a budget if you do decide to do this.

[scottishmummy]

ah,the mn deathbed moment.i'll think of a career I love,family I love,life lived
no I won't be melancholic that I wasn't housewife at the schoolgate
at all

[noisytoys]

I dreamt of being a SAHM its not all roses and I was climbing the walls after a few months and was desperate to go back to work. I only work 12 hours a week now but I need it for my sanity. You may feel the same.

[flowery]

Where on earth has the OP gone?

[janey68]

I think you'd be mad to give up work if you're going to be struggling for the essentials.
Being bored or miserable in a job is a wake up call to change things and spur you on to find something better- not simply run away from it.
As for the deathbed regrets... Well I'm totally with Scottishmummy on that- I will have fond memories of a full life which includes a whole range of experiences- family, friends, experiences and opportunities I've had through my career. I certainly won't regret that I kept work going while having children

[Amazinggg]

It's not 'running away' from a job to decide to become a SAHM!

It's a perfectly reasonable thing which many people do - decide they'd rather look after their children whilst they're tiny. I couldn't even imagine putting my tiny DS into nursery, as soon as he's at preschool I'll be looking for work again - am lucky in my field that I can freelance around the hours, I appreciate that's not an option for all. But seriously, so many posters saying being a SAHM is basically for the woman's benefit - er no, I do it because I know that having his mum look after him is infinitely better than being in nursery or with a CM! Isn't that obvious? It's like 2 years out of your career - why do you all think that's in some way a bad idea?

[Arisbottle]

There is no one reason for being a SAHM. Yes my children benefitted, I also loved not having to work long days and then run a home . I loved days spent lost in a book or wandering round galleries and museums.

Clearly I am far lazier than all the SAHMs on this thread

[icklemssunshine1]

Amazing remember that's your opinion though. My DD has been in nursery since she was 10 months old & adores it! I'm a teacher but still choose to put her in nursery during my school holidays as she loves the staff, the other children, the wide range of activities so much. You can't say being a SAHM is infinitely better than working - you'll offend a lot of working mothers!