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stranger giving my child money

246 replies

trackies · 15/05/2013 22:09

Was at a toddler group with my 3 yo. There was a professional photographer there taking pics as approved by lady who runs it. They sit on a seat infront of a white screen. My child had a turn. My child is very chatty and friendly and likes posing for photos, and he found him easy to deal with. Bit later on my child, who likes attention and chatting to people, chatted to him for few mins, whilst i was there. Photographer was saying how lovely he was and he'd made his day, and then he gave him a gift of £2 and told him to buy some sweets with it. This freaked me out. I was a bit stunned. I tried to politely say that we can't take his money (i didn't want it!) but he insisted on me taking it. As i was leaving i tried to prize the £2 away from my child but he was clinging onto it so i left cos i just wanted to get out there! Got home and explained to small child that should not take gifts from strangers, but it wasn't his fault. I should have done something at the time. I was just caught off guard. Told my DH who said this man should have not been giving money to my child, and agreed that it's weird, but it could have been just someone being nice. But he was not happy. I told couple of Mummy friends who said it was weird aswell. DH said i definitely need to talk to the women who runs the group just to say that it made me uncomfortable and give the money back. Do you think it's weird ? or an act of kindness ? what would you do ?

OP posts:

CocacolaMum · 15/05/2013 22:11

he was just being nice?


ShatnersBassoon · 15/05/2013 22:11

Aw, a few strangers gave my children money when they were young. It's just a kindness, they don't want anything in return.


Honeybadgerdontgiveashit · 15/05/2013 22:12

Was he from South / London? Thats quite an old school thing to do, would not immediately alarm me.


Fuckwittery · 15/05/2013 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CocacolaMum · 15/05/2013 22:14

Best place for this is those seats at the end of supermarket checkouts.. my kids clean up there! especially on pension day!! mwahaha


anothershittynickname · 15/05/2013 22:14


The poor guy was just being nice - relax a little!



HazeltheMcWitch · 15/05/2013 22:14

Arf at SOuth / London / North thing.

To my mind, it's a Catholic / Mediterranean thing!


longingforsomesleep · 15/05/2013 22:14

You say your ds chatted to the photographer while you were there so it wasn't like he was doing it sneakily. Why do you need to do anything?


ShatnersBassoon · 15/05/2013 22:15

I think it's an everywhere, everyday thing. It's really not unusual at all.


ForkInTheForeheid · 15/05/2013 22:15

Not weird at all. (The photographer that is). Your reaction on the other hand...


chocolatebee · 15/05/2013 22:16

I was on the bus with DD1 (4) and DD2 (10days old) and a (30ish year old) women give them both 50p. I tried to say no but she got off the bus.

I was shocked and asked MIL about it and she said all old ladies used to give children silver as good luck.

I was very shocked but allowed both DD's to keep the 50p. this thread reminds me to buy DD2 a money box


Doubtfuldaphne · 15/05/2013 22:16

Was he quite an old guy? I think in their day it was quite normal to give some money to kids to get themselves some sweets. It happened quite a bit when I was growing up.
Now we are much more protective or on our guard about strangers and I think, rightly so. When things like this happen its easy to think back about it more and think about what you should've said or done but its done now.
You did the right thing saying it wasn't your child's fault but not to accept things from strangers.


Fuckwittery · 15/05/2013 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 15/05/2013 22:16

Nah its a west Wales/old person thing.


cocolepew · 15/05/2013 22:17

I've had older people give my DDs a ound when they were very young, I just smiled and thanked them.
It's obviously an Irish thing Grin


TidyDancer · 15/05/2013 22:17

It is a southern thing, and it's happened to my two DCs a fair few times.

Never heard of it being a catholic or Mediterranean thing....


freddiefrog · 15/05/2013 22:17

I'd just think it was a nice thing to do

I remember taking DD1 to a tea shop when she was quite young and getting a barrage of tuts and eye rolls from a table of elderly ladies who, I assume, took one look and assumed she'd be a PITA. She behaved impeccably and one of the ladies came over, commented that DD was a lovely little girl and gave her £1 to buy some sweets


Tobagostreet · 15/05/2013 22:17

Not weird, just an act of kindness, which is less common nowadays.


cocolepew · 15/05/2013 22:18



toffeelolly · 15/05/2013 22:18

Do not see any harm in it , I would think not another thing about this .


StellaNova · 15/05/2013 22:19

I took DS1 to have his haircut aged two and the guy in the next chair gave him 50p for being so good - I thought it was nice!


PilgrimSoul · 15/05/2013 22:19

I thought it was an Irish thing. Not weird at all. A bit traditional, maybe old fashioned. But not weird.


MrsBungle · 15/05/2013 22:19

My child has been given "a penny for a sweetie" a good few times. Where I'm from lots of people put coins in the pram. Bit old fashioned but harmless.


Disappearing · 15/05/2013 22:19

I would have said its a Scottish thing, mostly done by older people. I'd also heard of older folks tucking coins into babies prams, sometimes complete strangers and not necessarily just good acquaintances.


Wallison · 15/05/2013 22:20

Aw, sounds like he was just being nice. What possible harm could come to your child from a gift given to him by someone when you were with him and could hear everything that went on?

Or do you think there is a camera hidden in the £2 and the guy is using it to find out where you live and steal your child while your back is turned?

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