friend said i treat DD as though she's terminally ill

[princessj29]

Later in the year we're going to Disneyland. DD, age 5, doesn't know yet and I was planning on hiring a Mickey costume for DH's friend to wear to deliver the tickets and some Disney goodies to announce the trip to DD. My friend said this 'special treatment' is ridiculous and that I treat DD like she's terminally ill by arranging things like this! I just wanted DD to have a lovely memory, that's all. She still totally believes that people dressed up are real characters and would be amazed by Mickey coming to the house. The suit only costs £10 to hire but she'll remember it forever- AIBU to think this is just a nice thing to do and that my friend was out of line?

[elsie07]

Are you the friend, elsie07?

No, but a lot of you are clearly overreacting. Ditch the friend, she's a cunt etc. Maybe she just thinks you're a bit OTT. Like I do.

[elsie07]

Oh formatting is a pile of shite here.

[Juniperdewdropofbrandy]

She needn't have said anything except something positive. She's a cow.

[LittleEdie]

Perhaps she feels guilty that she doesn't think to do these things herself. Maybe she feels you're a bit smug about what a wonderful mummy you think you are and wanted to bring you down a peg or two. Not nice of her though.

[HallelujahHeisRisen]

I think your ideas sound lovely and creative. £10 extra is hardly going ott on the holiday.

[thezebrawearspurple]

Your friend is a jealous, spiteful ball of negativity. Your daughter is so lucky to have such a thoughtful, loving mother, she will have those beautiful memories for the rest of her life

[HallelujahHeisRisen]

was to your friend's notion that you are treating her too much.

[Juniperdewdropofbrandy]

We took dss to Disney World in Florida when dss were small. DS2 was only around 2 or 3. But even he remembers things from it. Amazing what dcs can remember. She'll have a fabulous memory from this .

[flounderscominghome]

well that is ridiculous (the friend not you) what a lovely idea and it is things like that you remember.

[AgentZigzag]

Did your parents do anything to surprise you when you were little Elsie?

They don't have to cost anything, thoughtful things just to see the surprise on your face and know they're doing something that'd make you happy.

[SquirrelNuts]

Thats a horrible thing to say your 'friend' is obviously just jealous that you are such a lovely mummy! Ignore her!

[LilQueenie]

YANBU I do these type of things all the time. Themed Helium balloons for christmas, easter, birthdays etc. Visits from characters on these occasions too because there is a local company that do these events. If parents didnt do it they would not have a business. So many parents do this. Much better than some things Ive seen. Eg: one parent asked their kids what they wanted for chirstmas, got it and left if sitting unwrapped on the sofa for christmas morning. the child was so spoilt she didnt even appreciate it and most of it was left unplayed with in the packaging!

[cumfy]

I suspect as others have suggested that your friend is indeed a little jealous; not all children are spoilt rotten even at 4-5.

I would have bitten my tongue, however, she has a point.

Why are you so very very keen for your DC to have these superlative experiences ?

[TerraNotSoFirma]

I completely understand wanting to do this.
This friend is no friend and I can't understand how anyone could turn the lovely thing you are doing into something negative.
Enjoy your lovely holiday.

[DoctorRobert]

I do think hiring costumes and so on is a little over the top and anything Disney makes me want to vomit however, I would never say so to a friend, I would smile and say how lovely. So yeah, your friend was out of line.

[Ouchmyhead]

YANBU; sounds like a lovely thing to do, it's brilliant went children believe people in costume are the actual character, I can totally understand why you want to do it! These things make amazing memories! Stuff your friend, she's probably just jealous Mickey Mouse isn't giving her tickets to Disneyland (I know I am!)

[Ducklings45]

Your friend is no true friend and is being very unkind.

It sounds like a lovely idea and somehing she'll treasure forever :)

[bedmonster]

Your friend was being an insensitive dick referring to you treating your DD as if she were terminally ill.

However, I for one think it's OTT. A bit like how some people dramatise Christmas further with the invention of a christmas hamper bought by ficticious elves. It's over egging the pudding - a trip to Disneyland is (IMO obviously) a big enough treat in itself and doesn't need extra fuss. But you want to do it, and its your decision. If you were my friend, I would smile and not politely whilst thinking in my head you were a crazy loon

I hope you all have a lovely time. I have been there a few times between the ages of 10-17 and even the last time behaved like a small child!

[AgentZigzag]

I wouldn't hire the suit and not into Disney either, but isn't it a similar thing to getting someone dressed up as Father Christmas to come round?

That's a pretty normal(ish) thing to do isn't it?

[AgentZigzag]

X-posts with you bedmonst, the hamper/elves combo is different to just FC in his get up IMO

[LauraPashley]

This thread has made me think of a really lovely one from ages ago can anyone help me remember it properly/find it?

A mner had moved (abroad i think? canada?) as a SP and with very little cash and was feeling bad about not being able to make things special for her dd- there was a massive thread about all the things she could do, for free or at very little cost, there were some really lovely ideas.

Anyway you made me think of it OP, and I don't understand anyone who wouldn't want to create special moments for their dc. However, I think even more important than that is making sure they feel consistently secure and loved (which I'm sure your dc do btw!). Do you think your friend thinks your dd is spoilt?

[EllenParsons]

Utterly horrible comment. Yanbu. Your friend sounds jealous and just spiteful and nasty. Hope you all enjoy Disney!

[bedmonster]

Agent it's all the same to me - it reminds me too much of weird adults-who-haven't-grown-up-and-still-wear-tinkerbell-pyjamas-and-an-eeyore-watch

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

Oi -

there's nothing wrong with a Christmas Eve Hamper BTW.

It makes PJs, Lush Bath Bombs and hot chocolate exciting.
And buys frazzled parents some all-important peace and quiet.