JaceyBee, thanks for clear explanation.
It really gets my goat when people try to draw a line between 'manipulative', mentally ill people and 'normal' people. If we define 'manipulative' as 'behaving in a specific way to get what you want', I have never met a 'normal' person who was not manipulative attention-seeker. Even naice people.
Surely the difference is that 'normal' people have learnt socially acceptable ways of manipulating people to get the attention we all so sorely need (reciprocal relationships; a bit of give and take) that 'abnormal' people, through illness or bad luck, haven't had chance to learn?
Two things happen then, which make the situation worse. The first thing is that 'abnormal' people behave oddly, so 'normal' people are even less inclined to be warm towards them - which exacerbates the odd behaviour. The second is that the 'abnormal' person doesn't get 'fed' in the way that we get 'fed', a zillion times a day - by the returned smile, the 'how are you', etc etc. So the need for attention - and hence the odd behaviour - grows.
MH is about relationships, not 'normal' people vs. 'abnormal' people.
That's not the same as saying no one is responsible for their actions.
I think this makes sense.