It was my daughters 8th birthday recently and I envited all the girls from her class. Most of them replied and one asked if she could bring her sister. I said yes, then kind of wished I hadn't, because I thought now I can't say no to any other siblings and there could be loads.
Anyway, we had all the replies, so I bought the right nomber of party bags, specially made cup-cakes etc and set a pretty table with the right nomber of chairs. Then 3 siblings turn up. There parents hadn't asked me if this was o.k, if they had, I would've set extra places etc. The siblings sat at the table and so there wasn't enough room, which caused 3 tearful girls. I had to squash them in on the corners. Then the uninvited siblings were waiting for party bags. (With their parents!!) The parents even expected that the siblings that hadn't been invited should get a party bag. 
When I said "I'm really sorry, but I only have enough for the girls I invited" They looked rather disgruntled.
Is this quite the norm when it comes to parties? I thought I was very rude, but is that just me??
I put so much effort into this party as it's the first one since she's been at the school, and felt it was a bit of a flop. My daughter has SEN's and became quite overwhelmed and tearfull. She's never had a party with that many children before. (I know that's my fault for inviting too many)
I think next year we'll just have a little party at home with one friend.
AIBU?
To expect only the guests I've invited to turn up to my DD's party?
mummyloveslucy · 03/03/2013 12:50
Re siblings left at drop and run party - I always make sure I have a mobile no for parents who leave a child , I tell them it's in case of accidents.they always looks at me in surprise, as if its never occurred to them that kids at a party MIGHT bumps heads and need stitches etc.
If someone left spare kids I would be on the phone ASAP to get them back.
I remember the mums netter who had an ( invited ) child dropped with no contact details or inhaler for her asthma. The child had an asthma attack , they couldn't get hold of the parents so they called an ambulance. The hospital contacted social services and the father was furious. I expect he I would be more furious if his child was dead
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Some soft play venues are good at checking on the door whether children are invited guests and charging parents for children that are not. I remember taking my children to a soft play place once and there was a party going on there. The staff were asking people as they went in if their children were invited guests and a child piped up that he wasn't so the dad had to pay extra. The dad was ranting on the phone about how the child should have kept quiet to get in free. Presumably he preferred the party host parent to pay extra for his uninvited child! 
at some of the cheek described on this thread.
yy to named party bags. I often put slightly different stuff in - esp because we know children with allergies so need to put the right sweets in the right bags.
I don't invite children if I don't know the parents, so I can speak to them all to find out very precisely if they need siblings to come. Many take the opportunity to do something with just one of their DCs. We haven't got to "drop and run" yet though.
For DS1's last party, at soft play never again one mother said very apologetically that that was the day she had both her DCs and a cousin, so was it ok if she brought them along and obviously paid for them and didn't bring them into the party room... in other words she did it right.
Recently DD1 went to a party where, a invited and her 2 siblings got dropped off at the door. No conversation with the host, she just had 2 random children thrust upon her.
The parent obviously saw it as a free childcare session for all, only didn't leave any details of how to contact. Poor children took it i their stride, obviously used to it.
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Tiggytape - good for you and OMG at that mother!! What the actual fuck was she on, expecting everyone else in the world to indulge her already-spoilt daughter as much as she did?!
When DS1 was 4, he was invited to a 2yo's 2nd birthday party (playgroup buddies). At the end of the party, there was a mass present opening - DS1 wanted to join in. I, in horrified tones, said "Of course you can't, DS1, it's X's birthday, not yours!" And then X's Dad said "oh it's all right, he can if he wants" but I still wouldn't let him. What a precedent to set! X has a baby brother now - really hope Dad doesn't keep up that sort of thing or X's brother and X are going to have interesting problems, I think!
DS1 did get to help DS2 open his Christmas presents this year, but only because DS2 was only 7wo at the time - next year he won't be allowed to unless DS2 wants him to.
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