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AIBU?

To think you should give a friend a lift home if it's raining?

336 replies

eggsy11 · 08/02/2013 12:33

This may be more a chat thing, but think I need the harshness of AIBU to see if I do have the right to be mad at my friend!

Have done A LOT of favours for this friend, but won't include that in the argument since I didn't do them to be paid back... but it is what is annoying me about the situation.

Another mum at DS's nursery saw me and DS huddling under the doorway until the hail past. Said hello, grabbed her DS and drove home. DS was screaming because he was scared. He was under his raincover in the pram, and it was a 15 minute walk so it was only me that got wet. But it was still horrible and I was literally soaked to the skin.

I know the mum would of had to drop us home (5 min drive) and come back for her DS, as there was only 1 car seat. But there is no way i'd walk past my friend like that! She is always early to pick up her DS so it wouldn't of been an issue since it's daycare, not like at school.

Am I being unfair? Is it our fault we don't have a car? I just think it would of been nice!

(btw she wasn't in a rush. pictures on facebook of them cuddled up watching cbeebies etc when they got home!)

OP posts:

Report

TheSecretCervixDNCOP · 08/02/2013 14:24

YABU. If there were indeed 2 hours left, why did you not go back inside till the storm passed?
Failing that if it was not actually option, your son was warm and dry in the pram under the raincover, why not just knuckle down and run for it (as quick as is possible of course when pushing a pram). All you'd have needed at the other end is a couple of towels.

Drivers whether you have done them favours in the past or not are not everyone's personal taxi service!

Rant over.

ZZZenAgain · 08/02/2013 14:24

well if I was driving past a friend who lived in my direction and it was pelting down, I would stop and offer a lift if I had space in the car. I would not have thought to do so in the situation in the OP (i.e. drop OP and her dc off at home and then drive back to pick up my dc).

Floggingmolly · 08/02/2013 14:25

Your post was perfectly clear, WorriedMummy, not an entitled phrase in it . Don't know why you've been held up as an example.

WorriedMummy73 · 08/02/2013 14:27

Flogginmolly - thanks! I suspect it was my response to MrsMangel that people are taking the hump with....

eggsy11 · 08/02/2013 14:28

I understand where you're all coming from with the 'she might of had stuff in the boot' she 'might of been in a rush' 'might of been lots of traffic'. I suppose I can't tell our whole relationship story on here but she's actually probably my closest freind. So I know full well she had an empty boot (DS has a tiny umbrella buggy anyway), a car full of petrol and it literally would of taken her much less than 10 minutes for a round trip.

This is in terms of driving, but I would of tried to help a fellow stressed mum out in anyway I can, and I do. It's not just drivers vs non-drivers.

OP posts:

PureQuintessence · 08/02/2013 14:28

If OP was appropriately dressed, I am sure she would not have minded a walk in the rain.

eggsy11 · 08/02/2013 14:29

I was doing shouty captials because it's annoying when so many peoples entire posts are about something that's not relevant. (ie, her son getting upset that he would be put back in nursery). That's not part of the situation so it's irritating to read a judgment based onsomething that's not even true.

OP posts:

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/02/2013 14:29

As a non-driver and a parent of primary school and pre-school age children I agree with the majority op - yabu - we have walked through rain, hail, snow etc to get kids where they need to be as I have 3 children it is complex to fit us all in a car (we have a car but only dh drives) so I would never in a million years expect a lift.

I have definitely been in the op situation, crying child, harsh weather, a walk home, people blithely getting into cars all around and it can be hard; but it is certainly my own responsibility to get from a to b with my children nobody elses. I certainly do not feel sorry for myself or resentful of others in that situation (well not for long )

ZZZenAgain · 08/02/2013 14:30

don't take it to heart, if it is generally a good friendship. If it is otherwise balanced and you help each other out, try and get past it.

KatoPotato · 08/02/2013 14:30

I couldn't tell you the contents of my closest friends boot or petrol tank?

RedToothBrush · 08/02/2013 14:30

Worried, but drivers don't think like that. Thats the problem and actually my point. They ASSUME the bus will turn up and will turn up relatively on time. Plus they don't want to go out their way driving in conditions like that as its difficult and dangerous for them, themselves.

For the record my DH sometimes gets the bus if he doesn't feel up to cycling to work and I need the car. There have been occasions where he has got very pissed off because they have been so unreliable and not shown up when they should.

But one of the reasons he get so annoyed by that, is precisely because he has it so ingrained in his head that the bus should turn up. Its almost impossible to him as a driver/cyclist that he should be so at the mercy of poor reliability on the part of someone else. Its a concept he just doesn't get.

eggsy11 · 08/02/2013 14:30

It was sunny all day, I had a coat on. Got to nursery and there was a sudden ridiculous hail storm followed by rain for a few hours. I don't go to work with wellies and water proofs every day.... a coat is usually enough. This is abnormal weather.

OP posts:

PureQuintessence · 08/02/2013 14:32

I see where you are coming from in terms of helping out a stressed mum, it has to be a bit of give and take.

Today, I am transporting 5 extra kids to somebody's party after school. I am also making another drive bringing in some stuff for another mum. BUT, my child will be dropped home here after the party, so I wont have to go out again (by bus I might add, as by then dh have the car with our other son at a different activity).

I think often you have to ask, and negotiate favours. Like this morning, I was saying Ok, I will drop off 5 kids. Can YOU drop off my son after party.

Jins · 08/02/2013 14:33

It wouldn't have crossed my mind to have offered a lift if I'm honest but if you'd asked I might have dropped you home. Assuming I hadn't got something else on that you didn't know about.

RedToothBrush · 08/02/2013 14:33

So I know full well she had an empty boot (DS has a tiny umbrella buggy anyway), a car full of petrol and it literally would of taken her much less than 10 minutes for a round trip.

Wow so you are good at the old mind-reading yourself then. Make a career out of that and you'll be able to afford a car.

SamSmalaidh · 08/02/2013 14:33

Well, she didn't offer - but you didn't ask.

She wasn't to know your DS was crying because of the hailstorm.

You could have gone back into nursery and waited for the hail to stop or called a taxi.

WorriedMummy73 · 08/02/2013 14:33

Redtoothbrush - ummmmm, what's your point? I don't get what you're trying to say to me or why you're saying it? I know about buses, our service is pretty crap. I've been responding to people having a go at me when all I've done is say it's annoying waiting in the snow (which is completely true) for the bus with cold children and I've said the op WBU. Not sure what I've said to offend you.

RedToothBrush · 08/02/2013 14:34

It was sunny all day, I had a coat on. Got to nursery and there was a sudden ridiculous hail storm followed by rain for a few hours. I don't go to work with wellies and water proofs every day.... a coat is usually enough. This is abnormal weather.

Its FEBRUARY. In MANCHESTER.
Give me a break.

eggsy11 · 08/02/2013 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Whoknowswhocares · 08/02/2013 14:35

Crap weather in February???? hardly abnormal!

McKayz · 08/02/2013 14:36

RedTooth has a point. It is February and I assume you are in the UK. It rains, hails, snows etc. So I always make sure we have waterproofs as it can and does starting raining out of the blue.

valiumredhead · 08/02/2013 14:36

It was 15 mins, then you were home and got dry OP. I can't count the number of times I have got wet on a school run that was double that!

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DuchessFanny · 08/02/2013 14:36

I don't even know what's in my car boot or tank

You're not being U about the weather though, i hate the way it always seems to turn ridiculous at pick up !!

@ worried i knew what you meant !

RedToothBrush · 08/02/2013 14:37

I'm trying to make the point to other people and defend you a bit worried.

VitoCorleone · 08/02/2013 14:37

I dont even know how much petrol my DP has in his car or what he has in his boot, and he doesnt know whats in my car either.

So how do you know her boot was empty and she had a full tank?

And maybe she fills her tank and it has to last her?

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