DD1 is now 18. She is at college doing A levels having wasted a year doing a college course which she had no interest in and which, although now qualified, will never use. All her friends either work full time or have part time jobs in McDs, or local shops, or pubs etc...but DD1 just won't work. She says that she has tried to get a job but can't...that there are none around. However I often see jobs advertised in town and come home and tell her but she never applies for them. The local co op advertises loads of jobs but she doesn't want to work locally...McDs is 'beneath her', she won't ask in the pub up the road because 'they deal drugs', she won't take a job in the industry for which she is qualified bcause she hates the work, in short she just won't get off her arse and work.
Now she has asked if I will give her 'pocket money'. When I said I couldn't afford it she got really irate, she needs money, it's not her fault she can't get a job, as she can't get a job it's mine to fund her life...I have just finished paying out hundreds for her driving lessons resulting in me not having any spare money at all for myself or treats for the other Dcs, I'm a single mum and live literally hand to mouth some weeks.
She wants the money so she can go out drinking (I can't afford to do this myself), and get tattoos...she already has 2.
I was working from the age of 14, and frankly I think she should be embarrassed to be asking for pocket money at her age.
But AIBU?
AIBU?
to think DD is too old for pocket money?
NewPatchesForOld · 08/02/2013 11:14
Thumbwitch yes something has to change and it has to be me who changes it.
I just don't understand her - if I was paying her less attention than the others I would expect this playing up for attention, but she already gets it...go figure!
I actually have heaps to do on a Monday, I am working on several projects to try and get the business growing, but I try and keep Mondays clear. I will suggest the voluntary work to her but I think I know what her response will be (something along the lines of she's not working for nothing)...if she won't get herself a paid job she's not going to do it for the love of it.
Hope you have a good weekend all 
Sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong as a parent can you? 
NynaevesSister I never tell her what I think she should do apart from that she should actually attend college!?!
I buy the books she needs because it is part of her education, and I watch the documentaries because she asks me to. I have no qualms about funding her education, buying the equipment she needs, only with funding drinking and inking. And I said earlier that when she said she was thinking of becoming a counsellor I never told her to do otherwise.
You say I don't think she can do it on her own...on the contrary, I know she can and this is why it upsets me to see her not trying.
thumbwitch yes, she could very well help with some of the projects, so I will see about putting that into practice, thankyou
nynaevesSister...sorry, my mistake . She had to find the books on amazon and then I ordered them, as it was with my card. I didn't source the docs either, I'm actually really interested in criminology so when there is a programme on she will tell me and I'll watch it with her.
Yfronts I've bent over backwards to help her find work, believe me. Even my BF will text me numbers/details of jobs he thinks she'll be interested in but she never really pursues them. She's applied for 8 jobs since November (I had a long talk with her yesterday) and 5 of those were to the same company but different branches. TBH I don't know what sort of job she wants to do - as nothing that comes up seems suitable.
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