EVIL MILs - WHY DID YOU MARRY SOMEONE WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE THEIR MUM??

[Hullygully]

Why??

What did you think would happen?

[Loa]

it started that mil didn't like me not the other way round

I think my MIL thought she got to pick her own DIL. She certainly thought and told people how many DC were allowed - we ignored that one to.

The longer I was around and the more committed we got the worse her attitude. I didn't bugger of when she expected me to.



Thus all decisions that don't fit into her expectations are my fault somehow and I am the evil one . The fact DH had ideas of his own does not compute.

18 years together in various forms and no hint of anyone else on horizon for either of us - I think she starting to accept me - I think it helps the DIL she had picked out who showed no interest in DH or DH in her hasn't lately made decisions MIL approves of.

[TuftyFinch]

Well Maryz I gave her a sofa, so she could put that in there to drink her gin on.
I didn't meet MIL until I'd been with DH about 4 years.

[TuftyFinch]

DrGarnett I'll be your MIL with those sort of bribes.
I'd be a great MIL. I'm kind.

[jayho]

My Dsis's MIL sobbed loudly throughout their wedding. It's all you can hear on the video and her blotchy face intrudes onto almost every photograph. It was hilarious. BIL was 45!!!!!! Oh, and she wore black.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Loa

I've just read Daughters in Law by Joanna Trollope (yeah, I know, I'm so hip it hurts ). In that book, the one of the three DIL who the PIL 2chose" is the one who disappoints them the most.


It's an interesting read. Reminds us that MIL are people too.

[TuftyFinch]

It's ok about the swearing DrGarnett, I also do swear but not in front of the little children.

[flippinada]

I know what you meancraving

I think of it a bit like customer service :) - probably most people have warm or (at worst) neutral relationships with their in-laws and therefore don't post about it on here cos it simply isn't an issue; if people have difficult or nasty in-laws (and you read some absolute shockers on here) they are more likely to complain, for want of a better phrase.

Thinking about awful parents producing lovely children, I can think of at least two people I know very well where that's the case.

[Hullygully]

I don't have a view or an agenda, this musing was brought about by other threads, but isn't about them iyswim

No critism etc, jus tinterested in what people think.

[Hullygully]

My MIL was already pushing up daisies when I met dh, but by al accounts we wouldn't have got on at all. And he is not overly fond of her. I don't know what I would have done had she been around and difficult.

[Januarymadness]

if you are not intending to criticise I definately read the shoutyness of the title wrong.

[SirIronBottom]

I married my DW, not my MIL. My MIL is very, very damaged - PTSD, probable (denied) anorexia, profound martyr complex, extremely passive aggressive, prone to huge mood swings - but she's also a delicate flower with a brilliant mind who means well.

[EggRules]

I didn't marry my DHs family and he didn't married mine. I don't think the situation with in laws is the same as step children.

I don't hate my inlaws; I do think they are a crazy bunch of bananas. I disagree with them 90% of the time but I don't think it means we can't get along. I love my DH and DS and they love them to bits which is good enough for me.

[TuftyFinch]

Hully I didnt meet my MIL until I'd been with DHABI for 4 years. It wasntbuntil the boiled egg for Sunday lunch episode that I realised I may have made an error of judgement. It's a good job I'm so kind.
.
DrGarnett you go and have a nice bath dear, I'm quite happy cuddling baby and drinking gin. As long as that's ok with you? I'm happy to drink something cold and non alchoholic if you'd rather I didn't mix baby care and gin.

[Loa]

JamieandtheMagicTorch

It would have been nice if I could have been smug - the perfered candiate just wasn't mentioned any more by MIL. Had to get gossip from others.

I can see things I like about MIL - her determined happiness and up for a laugh - with people other than me - compares starkly with her own parents and my parents constant downers and that come through to at least one of our DC which is nice.

[exoticfruits]

I didn't marry my DHs family and he didn't married mine.

My DSs are not foundlings-they come with parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, old family friends etc etc -only a very controlling woman would want to cut them out. Luckily DH2 is far more generous-we also have DH1's family as part of our family. It is all one family. I have my own relationship with ILs-I don't have to do it all through DH and DH can see mine on his own.

[2rebecca]

I see my inlaws far less than I see my work colleagues and many people just have a brief interview before deciding where they'll work.
I get on with my inlaws fine, although I only see them every couple of months (I don't see my family any more frequently as they live several hours away.)
I think if your husband isn't a mummy's boy and you don't live round the corner then they don't have to be involved in your life that much if you don't want them to be. Most inlaw problems are caused by weak husbands who won't stand up to them and not moving far enough away.

[EggRules]

I stand by my statement that I didn't marry my DHs family and he didn't married mine. I don't agree that my partner and I married "a package. Like stepkids etc".

We get along well enough but I am not my ILs child and have never been treated as such. We are very different, have opposing values and agree to disagree. It doesn't mean I cut them out or that I am controlling. It is very important to me that my DH and DS have a close relationship with them; that doesn't mean I have to.

I have a large step family from GPS generation to my own with foster children and we are all one family.

[2rebecca]

When I got divorced I rapidly realised that my exes family were definitely not my family but his.
They are still my kids' family, but not mine.

[PoppyWearer]

I didn't really know MIL before we got married, because she was living abroad at the time.

She lives here now. I don't dislike her as such, but our opinions and tastes on about 95% of things are chalk and cheese.

Oh boy.

[gotthemoononastick]

Just wanted to remind all you gels,that if you hit your mum,your hand will stick up outside your grave on some dark nights.If you speak ugly and nasty words to and about her your tongue will hang out over your grave.Just go and check on Halloween eve oh brave ones!!!!

[ripsishere]

I met my ILs once before we got married.
I am not saying I wouldn't have wed DH had I known them (her especially) better, but certain ground rules would have been put in place which were difficult to instigate after marriage.
It's all academic now. The cunt is dead.