To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

[Lira]

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.

Thoughts?

[Hulababy]

I wouldn't personally. It would feel very wrong.
I would however use the vouchers and replace it with the £30 in cash.

We write thank yous for presents and always include what we used the vouchers/money for. I'm not sure a new vacuum cleaner would look great tbh.

However we are in a fortunate position financially and don't need too - if finances are far more restricted then I can see why people may.

[DizzyHoneyBee]

Regifting is OK depending on how it has been done. DS got a book that he already had, I said we could use it for a gift for somebody else and DS agreed and suggested that a particular friend would like it. I offered DS £8 as that was the cover price of the book (it probably cost less) and he put it in his money box and was happy. Later he used the money to buy a book that he wanted.

[FadBook]

Dambamboo - yes. That's what I'm saying. You could go and speak to my nan if you like and check if she's offended that her gift of £30 for dd's christmas gift didn't buy a specific gift but will go towards a number of treats next month such as a swimming session and a day out to the local gardens and play area too.

I really don't see the problem. Especially given that i too am honest about what we've spent when writing thank you cards or when I see relatives/friends that have given money.

[Virgil]

I may be in a slightly different position to some. I earn a lot, so does DH. We put large amounts into their accounts each month which would more than offset a voucher. The DCs have everything they need and would not even notice the fact that a gift voucher had been spent.

I guess if they had less maybe they would notice and I would feel differently about using the voucher. However In the circumstances I am not letting them go out and buy themselves more toys. They still have stuff not opened from last Christmas and it would be a complete waste of money.

My DCs are seven and five.

[DamnBamboo]

But will they be able to spend the money in their accounts when they want virgil or is it for when they're older (i.e. university etc)

If the latter, then it isn't really 'their' money so to speak; no in the same way a tenner in a card is or a gift voucher.

We also earn a lot, DH and myself both.

We have saved our DC money in stocks/shares rather than in a bank account and review it every six months. However, their current account is theirs and I still wouldn't take from them despite money not being an issue for us and saving for them regularly

Fadbook buying your daughter swimming lessons with the money is rather different than taking the family out for a meal no?

[FadBook]

I class it as the same, it's an experience for her.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

I have now decided that in no circumstances will I ever give a gift of cash or a gift card to a child ever again.

Nothing wrong with buying the gift card from the person it belongs to but I'm shocked at the amount of people who feel its perfectly ok to just take it and justifying that by saying that they support the children.

You are a parent that is your job.if I wanted to give you money then I would I obviously didnt want to because I didnt give you any.

[DamnBamboo]

So would she get those treats otherwise or do you rely on the generosity of others to pay for this?

[DamnBamboo]

Paying for yourself to eat in a restaurant is really not the same thing fad. No. And I'm amazed you can justify this

[DamnBamboo]

Actually laughing hard at fad justifying her pizza express gobbling lunch (or whatever restaurant) as an experience for her daughter.

Properly laughing!

Oh my god.

[DamnBamboo]

sock I totally agree with you

[FadBook]

So you're telling me that for a child to go to one of those ball pit places where you eat and kids can run about isn't an experience?

I'm not talking fuckin pizza express am I. When did I me pizza express?

[Bunbaker]

"I'm shocked at how many people think that this ISN'T ok to do"

I'm shocked that you think it is. I give money to my nieces every birthday and Christmas because I have no idea what to buy them. If I thought their parents were using the money for something else I would feel cheated that my nieces wouldn't benefit directly and completely from my gift.

[threesypeesy]

actually amazed the some think money given to a child as a present is entitled to them as they financialy support their child!!! eh thats your responsability to buy food,clothes,trips,activities your not entitled to be re inbursed for it!!

my dcs money is there money end of they buy whatever they please with


totally at some people!!!!

[BertieBotts]

Do it but pay the money back. How you choose to pay it back is up to you - personally I'd put it in a savings account but if you choose to justify it on a class or whatever, you're the parent!

There's no point keeping the vouchers if you're not going to use the vouchers because they expire after 2 years or something.

[DamnBamboo]

You didn't say pizza express (clearly acknowledged in the brackets after that statement).

You said earlier you had a meal out as a family - that's what I'm referring to!

Going to a shitty ball pit place, is certainly experience, granted. My kids love them.

One question, did you buy yourself a large cake and smoothie whilst you were at it, instead of saving the fiver that it cost from your DD's money for her DC to go another time?

Why don't you just ask your nan for a fad snack fund!

[ENormaSnob]

Yabu

Totally agree with bamboo and pixie.

[FadBook]

It's all different parenting though. I'm shocked that you don't think it is ok for the OP to buy a Hoover when she needs one.

I'm shocked that any money you receive as gifts goes in a bank to buy shares?? Or to buy even more toys even though you know they have enough. I'm not a materialistic type of person so for me a walk in the woods with some friends and their children for the morning and then coffee and a nice cake the bakery afterwards back at my house is more beneficial for my dd than another plastic toy. It might not be your parenting style but it is mine.

[fairylightsinthesnow]

I did this with some M&S gift cards the kids got. They are 3 and 1 and do not need anything from M&S. I, on the other hand did. At the end of the month when I had a little more money left than usual they got a couple of extra trips to soft play which is the highlight of their week. It all balances out. Its different if they are old enough to keep track of such things themselves and have ideas about what they want but not when they're tiny.

[AntimonySalts]

I was going to say YABU. Then I thought maybe you weren't, if you were pressed for money. But then I thought of the 'giant party' you gave her, and decided you weren't pressed for money. That took me back to yes, YABU. Agree with all who say you should put £30 into her savings, and use the vouchers in return.

[DamnBamboo]

No, I didn't say money they were given goes to buying shares. I said that's what we do when explaining to virgil that like her I also save.

Their current accounts are theirs - bday money, xmas money, pocket money etc for the put in there if they want to.

Why is your DD birthday buying you some cake?

[threesypeesy]

the op should fund the hoover not a 5 year old child if she threw such a massive party she couldnt afford at the end of the day as she now needs her dc to buy household applience was just silly

[DamnBamboo]

Off out now with my kids, will buy them a hot choc probably after a long scoot round the lake.

Will use my own money, not their money for this.

Toodles

[Bunbaker]

Dear Auntie

Thank you very much for the Argos vouchers you sent my for my biorthday
My mum has bought a new hoover with it
(sob)
Love from
Your niece

[Virgil]

Well this one has certainly riled people up.