I'm due in May. DH and I know the sex but would like to keep it to ourselves. (I want to have the big "it's a boy/it's a girl" moment in the hospital. 
)
My mother keeps asking me about it, sending me emails of things that are stereotypical "boy" or "girl" things and asking if she should buy them.
She has a friend who does exquisite linens for nurseries and has offered to make some for me. My mom said on the phone "I haven't even messaged her about anything recently because she'll want to know about the bedding and I don't know what color to tell her!" I said "can't you tell her in May? The baby will sleep in with us for awhile anyway so I'm not concerned about the nursery." Apparently not, though. 
My brother, whom I have a difficult relationship with anyway, hates secrets or surprises of any kind. He sent me a few Facebook message saying "I don't get it" and "is this some "thing" people do now?" This is his way...he tries to make me feel stupid until I agree with him or do what he wants.
Even my best friends are talking about how they'll "get it out of me" and the general consensus seems to be that I'm being selfish. :(
AIBU not to tell? I just want to keep it between us and the few random mumsnetters I've told for awhile. Plus our pfb has been an only for almost six years and we are trying to include him as much as possible, so we were thinking he could make the announcement.
AIBU?
to not want to tell people the sex of my baby?
CheerfulYank · 16/01/2013 22:46
If they're not interested then why should I tell them? 
So let me get this right.
If I were to have a big gender reveal with people biting into little pink or blue filled cakes, then demanding all sorts of blue or ruffly pink gifts, then making a big deal about what I named the baby and announcing it well before birth...that would BU.
But choosing to keep it to ourselves for a few months after trying and failing to not let on that I knew, so that we can make our own decisions about names/nurseries, and then letting DS feel like an important part of the process by getting to be first to see the baby and then letting our close friends and family who are gathered there know that he's got a little brother or sister is also BU.
So anything other than a quiet word beforehand is sort of "oh for fuck's sake you tacky American", is that about right? 
So it's mostly your mum then Cheerful.I can understand why you don't want to tell her to be honest with what you've said about her on this thread and previously.But no matter when she finds out by the sounds of it she will be awkward.
Like I said my mothers comment wasn't great and I've had many mean comments.I also got an 'oh dear what a Shame'
and many more.I think if you are going to get nasty comments from your mother to start practising the comebacks now.Ive got mine down to a fine art and I've left people very red faced 
Ahh if that's the case and you would only be bombarded with comments now then no YANBU.
We had to tell the ds's about their new brother straight away.Main reason for finding out was Ds1s Autism.They now tell everyone we see and I mean EVERYONE
I think human beings are just nosy. I hate "not knowing" stuff.
I found out with DS, because I was nosy. Nothing more than that. If the information is available, I like to have it.
When we went for a scan for DS2, I wanted to find out for the same reason. And because everyone kept asking me if I wanted a girl as I had a boy already, I thought I'd get those annoying comments over in pregnancy as I was happy with either. Then I could just say "oh yes it's a girl" or "oh yes it's a boy".
I think it's fine not to tell people, CY, as it's your body and baby. (Your mum sounds very annoying about how no other baby can match up to DS; are you doing it just to drive her mad? )
But I also think that people are naturally curious so if you know the gender, they can't understand you keeping it quiet. Doesn't mean you should tell them but don't bother getting annoyed - people aren't good at being denied information!!!
This is the very first time I have heard of a Gender Reveal Party - thank fuck. Not keen to hear of it again tbh. It's enough to make you vomit frankly.
CY - I have 'known' you for a long time on MN and you are lovely. I think the idea of DS telling everyone is great & it's lovely to include him. I think your Mom is completely nucking futs and I can see why you have ended up feeling the way you do - so I do have some sympathy. However, generally speaking I think people who find out (and make it known they know), but don't tell - end up making people feel excluded and then have no-one, but themselves to blame when people aren't as excited when the baby arrives, cuts its first tooth, takes a step etc With your Mom, that might not be such a bad idea anyway I like the idea of DS telling everyone the sex now and the name later - that way you stop the angst and DS gets two reveals! Win/win.
If people feel excluded, tough.
It's not their baby.
As for baby reveal parties, I wonder how long it'll be before they come over here?
I bet there's already MNers rubbing their hands in glee at another idea to introduce their forthcoming PFB and get as much attention as possible.
Yank, you've started something here.
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