....in thinking the cost of weddings is becoming beyond todays young people

[concernedrose]

DS is planning on getting married next year. He and fiance both have good jobs but are paying off student loans, and pay £850 a month in rent for a tiny one bedroomed flat. They also are trying to save for a mortgage. So imagine their (and our) horror at the price of weddings. It seems that to be able to do everything for under £10,000 is virtually impossible in the area we live in. And they have accepted they wont be able to have a honeymoon immediatly after the wedding. This seems a vast sum of money to me, but even calling in favours from friends and relatives, (ie cake making, invitation making, flower arranging) it looks like this is what it is going to cost. Oh well, anyone for beans on toast!!!

[thesnootyfox]

YABU.

There are lots of things that have got expensive and it concerns me. The price of petrol, food, housing and childcare are expensive and it is worrying that people (including me) are struggling to afford these things.

But weddings! Seriously you don't have to have an expensive wedding. I'm not going to feel sorry for someone because they can't afford an expensive bash in the same way that I don't feel sorry for people who can't afford first class plane travel.

[MaxPepsi]

I got married recently. Less than £10k.
I didn't skimp on anything.

Church Wedding
Reception for 80
Evening reception for a further 100
Booze
2 adult bridesmaids dresses
My dress which I wish hadn't got, thereby saving myself even more money
Flowers
Table decorations
Rings
10 suits for the men, 8 adult, 2 kids, yes 10 suits
flower girl
presents
DJ
reception room hire
photographer
favours
frivolous extras like printed ribbon
cake
and we had a honeymoon out of that too!

Easily doable. I don't live in London but the area I'm from is not Cheap

[Ragwort]

Agree with nearly everyone else, don't get sucked into this 'must have a big (ish) wedding' - as another poster comments, all these bland hotel style weddings blend onto one boring event, no doubt with poached chicken as the main course .

Years ago I got married in my parents' back garden in a scout marquee - we did our own catering, an ordinary 'frock' from Monsoon or similar, trip to France to stock up on wine & champagne, it was great!

[5alive4life]

oh and i are in the same situation. we are not engaged but talk about getting married when we can afford it. we pay 850 month for a tiny one bedroom flat and are trying to save to buy our own place in the next 1-2 years. im planning to do the whole wedding for 5k,close family and friends only. its very possible to do it on a budget!

[atthewelles]

I agree with other posters. You can have a lovely wedding without spending thousands. But some many people get pulled into the forumlaic style wedding - the three tiered cake, the ubiquitous strapless wedding dress that costs a fortune and looks like every other bride's dress for the last five years, the bland hotel meal, the loud raucous band, the chair coverings, etc etc etc.

A bit of individuality and creativity would make a day a lot more special to me. As it is every wedding you go to seems just the same as the one before and the one before and the one before ie totally unoriginal and boring.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

I think it's daft to get married before you own a home. We are spending about 15k of our own hard earned money getting married. We already own a property and it's our money that we want to spend.

DPs sister has just got engaged. She lives with DPs parents and they are giving her 20k to get married with. That to me is crazy (and it's not because I'm jealous that she is getting money and her brother isn't) that money could be a deposit on a home rather than wasted on a wedding.

[SaladIsMyFriend]

YABU you do not have to "do everything", surely the marriage is more important than the wedding? A friend of mine did it "all" for under £1000. You really do not have to have all the wedding "everything".

And my wedding was $199 (Las Vegas), honeymoon at the same time, and we will most certainly remember it as the happiest day of our lives even though we didn't have the big do etc.

[curryeater]

The registrar is £550? Does anyone know how much it costs to get married in church, usually? Do you just pay the vicar and (s)he is a registrar too, or do you have to do a separate legal bit?

The only bit (other than the above, which is like, the wedding) I can't see you getting down too much in price is catering. If you want to invite people you have to have hospitality. I know some ways of doing this are cheaper than others but still, it has to be done.

erm, what are "favours"?

[atthewelles]

Best wedding I was ever at:

Fifty guests in a small candle lit church on an early December afternoon

Mulled wine and cocktail sausages at bride's parents' house (also lit by candles) followed by shepherd's pie with loads of wine and beer

Sing song with bride's brother playing the piano

Bride and groom departed at about 10.30.

The End.

I really, really enjoyed every minute of that day.

[Thumbwitch]

Favours are traditionally a set of 5 sugared almonds given to each of the guests - you're supposed to eat them to ensure health, wealth, happiness, long life and fertility. :) Wiki has more info on them. Not many people do the sugared almonds now though - all sorts of other things have replaced them.

[Ashoething]

We had a very small wedding. Registry office and a meal for 25 guests after.No party,band or dj. It still cost us £3000. Although tbf £800 of that was for my dress

We could have done it far cheaper. My friend is getting married this year and her reception alone is costing £2000. But she is inviting all her extended family and their dcs-madness imo.

[MWBBE]

When DP and I get married we have already agreed that we will spend less than £5K. And we both have good jobs, are already on the property ladder etc and have savings so if we wanted to then we could spend £10K or even £20K.

However neither of us think spending that much money on one day is good use of money (for us personally) and we would rather save the money to pay down our mortgage, save for later if we have kids and I become a stay at home mum, or blow it on holidays even - anything rather than just blow it all on one day!

To me what makes a good wedding is family and friends being there, good music and dancing, booze and food. You can do the booze and food on the cheap (have a BBQ, buffet, picnic, afternoon tea, get all your friends to bring a dish and get down the cash and carry to get the booze or do a run over to France). Just make sure you have a venue where you can bring your own food and drink.

Of all the weddings I have been to two of the best were (1) a barn dance in the local village hall, food was a buffet (everyone brought something with them) and bring a bottle and (2) a slightly hippie-style party in a field which again had a buffet and bring a bottle policy.

[Ragwort]

Does anyone REALLY enjoy going to these bland, hotel style weddings? Genuine question. The last one I went to was one of the most boring days of my life .

[pictish]

No. I've only been to four of those fancy hotel weddings in my time, and they were not my idea of a celebration.

I'm a scrappy informal type though. I always prefer things to be at a base level.

[DeepRedBetty]

I've been to an awful lot of weddings now. The country house hotel type ones have blurred into a mixture of long queues for tepid wine while waiting for interminable photo sessions to finish, but two slightly different ones stand out.

One was a wedding in a Salvation Army hall, with only soft drinks served as both bride and groom were recovering alcoholics. It was actually terrific fun and it was lovely not to have a hangover. The bride wore (amongst other things) bright blue DM's and looked radiant, and everyone brought a dish as part of the feast afterwards. That was fifteen years ago, they're both still dry, still married and have three children. I think that totalled £1200.

The other took place at a register office on the Saturday morning followed by an informal outdoor ceremony and buffet in a pub's private room. It was timed to take place during a major street theatre festival (Winchester Hat Fair, if anyone knows that one) and the outdoor ceremony was witnessed by lots of random strangers as a piece of performance art. Since the 'celebrant' was a comedian, I'm not sure how many of them actually realised that the couple really had been legally married that morning! But it was a fantastic atmosphere. Again each guest brought a dish for the buffet, and I think the whole shebang came in at about £800. I did have a hangover after this one...

[squoosh]

My thoughts on weddings:

Some expensive weddings are great fun.
Some budget weddings are great fun.

I feel the need to point out though that you don't win a medal for having a 'my wedding dress was just my old apron, for food we gave everyone half a stale bun and a lick of a yogurt lid, we shared 2 litres of Merrydown cider and for music we borrowed our next door neighbour's radio. Everyone said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to'.

Cut your cloth to suit your whatsit, if you don't have it, don't spend it.

I prefer weddings that aren't held in hotels. Hotel weddings are the last word in bland, boring and soulless.

And please can I ask that people stop with the hog roast craze? Every wedding I've been to in the least couple of years has had a bloody hog roast. They look great when they'e cooking, they taste dry and bland. Desist at once!

Thanking you kindly.

p.s. No more twee bunting or mismatched china nonsense either!

[gail734]

Sad to say, but four years on, I regret my wedding. Not regret getting married, you understand... well only sometimes, ha ha! No, we spent £15K give or take. I was always too scared to add it all up. We paid for it all up front, paying it up month by month throughout our engagement. Now, we're really broke and I can't believe we spent so much on one day. We have a baby now, and that money would be so helpful. Have a nice, cheap and cheerful wedding. It might even be a cute story to tell the kids one day - "We got married in a recession, we had to bake our own cake etc..."

[squoosh]

Also, what is the POINT of wedding favours? No one wants bloody sugared almonds!

[Ashoething]

Have been to 2 hotel weddings which were boring and the food was shit. Couples disappeared for hours getting the photos done. Went to an evening reception in one but it was a buffet of bacon and sausage rolls which was great and a good dj. Another good one I went to was a ceilidh-only spoiled by dh's refusal to dance

This thread is making me want to get wed again!!

[curryeater]

Oh god I quite like mismatched china, am I one of those people?
I would never have big wooden letters in the kitchen tho saying "EAT". (like I need any encouragement)

[squoosh]

curryeater.

As long as the teacups are full of vodka I won't be complaining. I'm kind and thoughtful like that!