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AIBU?

to feel mightly annoyed that everyone forgot my DS 1st birthday

97 replies

mandoo · 04/01/2013 18:28

He only got 6 cards. Only one of my friends remembered and even his uncle forgot. I am a stickler for remembering peoples birthdays and sending cards. One of his gifts was wrapped in christmas paper, surely this is just not on? I feel I may now 'forget' everyone else's birthday this year!!

OP posts:
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IsabelleRinging · 07/01/2013 09:58

It doesn't matter that the baby is only one and he won't know. Sending a card to a baby is about acknowledging the parents/family as well as as the child, especially a milestone birthday as the first is. I remember being hurt when my dd was one and close family couldn't make her birthday party. The party wasn't for her in particular as she was still a baby, it was about celebrating as a family the changes and steps made in that first year. It doesn't become about the child until they are a little older.

On the note of using Christmas paper as wrapping, it just shows a lack of thought, a carefully chosen and bought paper shows care put into the present, a piece of leftover paper demonstrates that it was an afterthought. That is all.

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MyBaby1day · 07/01/2013 09:44

YANBU, they should have remembered, I'de be angry too. Hope he enjoyed it anyway and at least he won't understand what's happened.

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BackforGood · 06/01/2013 23:40

YABU. I can't see how he received 6 cards if "everyone" forgot ? Confused

Generally, the invitation to the party acts as a reminder, and then people bring them with them.

.....that is, if you invited them to help you celebrate his very special day..... ?

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fluffypillow · 06/01/2013 23:31

My DDs birthday is on the 4th Jan. This would piss me off too. Kids birthdays are special.

YANBU.

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Uppermid · 06/01/2013 23:21

Oldpeculiar think we're going to have to agree to disagree. I think it rude and thoughtless to use Christmas paper for a child's birthday present!

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JustFabulous · 06/01/2013 16:09

YANBU, you are hurt. You put a lot of store by remembering birthdays and sending cards and it casn hurt when people appear to care less. Think about the people who you would expect cards from. Do they show they care in other ways or are they 100% not interested?

I like cards so I send lots. I have a birthday calendar and weddings/new baby are written on it straight away. I wouldn't remember everyone's birthday so I write them down. Isn't difficult if it is something you want to do.

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HappyAsASandboy · 06/01/2013 15:53

It is a shame that people you thought would remember didn't send cards.

I think part if it is the time of year. My birthday is around now too, and you get used to a random set of people remembering each year, and to Christmas paper too! It is just one of the perils of a Christmas birthday.

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oldpeculiar · 06/01/2013 15:41

'If you know that birthdays / wrapping paper are important to someone, then you should acknowledge that rather then dismiss them and say that they're being stupid. '

I think it is precious and ungrateful to take umbrage at the wrong wrapping paper, I really do!

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Uppermid · 06/01/2013 10:13

Well just goes to show that as usual different people have different views!

If you know that birthdays / wrapping paper are important to someone, then you should acknowledge that rather then dismiss them and say that they're being stupid.

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IsabelleRinging · 05/01/2013 09:24

You should have announced his impending birthday on facebook.

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amillionyears · 05/01/2013 09:13

op, are you ok?

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WinterWinds · 05/01/2013 00:25

Would you use christmas paper for a July birthday?

Yes i did once for a birthday party that DD had been invited to and had run out of birthday wrapping paper, but to be fair it was baby pink and had little fairys on it so looked like birthday wrap!!!

Op it really does depend on how many cards you were expecting for your Ds.
My DC's only get a maximum of 5 cards each, may not sound alot but they are from the people who matter most and thats what is important.
Although DH is from a large family we are not particularly close to most of them. The Dc's dont miss out at all, they are greatful for those that they do recieve.

I didn't as a child and still wouldnt mind getting my birthday present wrapped in christmas paper. I always associate my birthday as being part of the christmas period and christmas is not officially over until i have had my birthday!!

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TreadOnTheCracks · 04/01/2013 22:54

I share your frustration. My second child has a birthday very near christmas and receives only a fraction of what my summer birthday older child does.

He is nearing an age when he will notice now.

I compensate, he has a "royal" birthday about 6 months from now. It is annoying.

I do take the point about not being uptight about it. I will try to take note of that sage advice too.

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squoosh · 04/01/2013 22:48

Am hooting at the outrage over birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper. Who knew people cared so much about bloody wrapping paper! People have gone to the trouble of buying you a gift and you are still sniffy because it has snowmen on it? Seriously!

How many cards were you expecting? As others have said as long as the important close relatives remembered that's all that matters. You say his Uncle forgot, without wanting to be shockingly sexist, it's my experience that men aren't the most diligent with keeping up with family member's exact birth dates.

So basically YABU.

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GreenShadow · 04/01/2013 22:48

I wouldn't use 'Santa' paper for a birthday, but would use gold or similar Christmas paper.

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Essexmamma · 04/01/2013 22:46

Yanbu at all! I'd be very upset if people forgot, especially a first birthday. Parties are definitely the way forward and lots of hints on your Facebook! Hope ds had a lovely day

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Uppermid · 04/01/2013 22:44

Yes it does matter green. Would you use christmas paper for a July birthday? It just shows general thoughlessness, that you couldn't be bothered.

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HollyBerryBush · 04/01/2013 22:43

I'm always in awe of people who have other people who forget.

We have no family left so my kids only get 2 cards, one from us, one from the NDN.

We and our friends are way beyond cards for all the prodigeny we have produced over the years!

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GreenShadow · 04/01/2013 22:31

Honestly, does it really matter whether the wrapping paper is Christmas or birthday! At least they were wrapped.

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marriedinwhite · 04/01/2013 22:25

OP YANBU. Our DSis a Christmas day baby. It has always been hard work and I have always gee'd people up. His God parents have alwys remembered as has my stepfather's sister. His own aunts don't always remember and this year I bought him a card for DH's mother and got her to sign it. He was 18 this year and we have always done our best to big it up.

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sweetkitty · 04/01/2013 21:39

YANBU my brother texted me to say he couldn't make it to DSs 1st birthday party as he was working and needed the extra money as he had a baby on the way, he was actually going to the football :S

First birthdays are special, I know a few friends who have DC with Christmas/New Year birthdays (we've been to 2 parties already this year) and they always make an extra effort to make it special for them.

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flumposie · 04/01/2013 21:31

YANBU it is my daughter's third birthday today, we are miffed at the family member who gave no Christmas present, birthday card or birthday present when we have spent years remembering her children's and yet clearly knows when it is as has been commenting on my face book page .

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montage · 04/01/2013 21:24

TBH I think the reason that they sell Christmas wrapping paper and birthday wrapping paper is so they can make more money?

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Loshad · 04/01/2013 21:20

good point rhubarb, ds2 has his birthday in june and has had an exam on his birthday every day for years - he has an A2 exam this year the day after his 18th Sad so will definitely by deferred pleasure there.

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DeWe · 04/01/2013 21:20

Personally I don't expect, nor ever did, friends to give my dc cards/presents. For most of my friends if they gave mine each a card, it would probably in the upwards of 20-30+ friend's children they would need to do so.
Godparents usually do, but my friends, not as a general rule, only if they're coming round on that day or something.

Bil has never remembered my ds' birthday. Not once in 5 years. I considered getting him a "dates to remember" book for Christmas, but I doubt it would make any difference.

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