to give this to dd for Christmas?

[We3bunniesOfOrientAre]

I had bought something for the kitchen, the company sent the wrong item, I was going to send it back (all agreed with company). Now I have discovered that someone has taken it out of it's packet, I don't think I can return it now. The place that I put it is one where I think it unlikely that anyone other than dd1 did it - she is nearly 8 but prone to fiddling with things which aren't hers. Ds couldn't get it and dd2 wouldn't be likely to do it, it is also right by where she sits. It costs about 5 pounds. It will not be her only present, but is it unreasonable to tell her that as it is because she opened it, it will now become hers and she might have less other things as a result?

[MerryChristmasEverybody]

Wait a second, hold on hold on. If the COMPANY sent the wrong thing then it's up to them to send the correct item. They shouldn't expect you to send the wrong thing back to them first.

[WitchCrafter]

OP will get refund as wrong item was sent. It is dd that is being discussed- methinks.

[BarceyDussell]

Bloody hell.

At that age, in the run up to christmas my teacher mum used to receive tons of boxes of quality street and the likefrom her pupils.

I used to open the boxes from the bottom, pinch some sweets then glue the bottom of the box back together.

My mum got so many of them she used to re-gift them, not always realising they were half empty

Id love to know what you would have done to me!

[ll31]

So you lined them up and asked them to confess. .. and they didn't... but you know it's her cos she was grumpy ... I'd be grumpy living in your house to tbh. .. agree with mrs dev its annoying, I know, but Not really bad. .

[spoonsspoonsspoons]

"My mum got so many of them she used to re-gift them, not always realising they were half empty"

Suddenly those 'what's the worst Christmas present you ever received' threads start to make sense

[fuzzpig]

Barcey that is GENIUS!

[Pantofino]

Barcey

[StinkyWicket]

My DSS is very like this. Fiddles with something then tells me it's broken like I didn't just see him pull the loose bit off.

It is annoying, but I don't tally them up. I would explain to her again, and tell her that next time, she will lose a privilege or something. Don't just spring it on her now, although I totally understand why you would want to.

[Pantofino]

As I alluded to earlier. My nan sent me £20 for my birthday. It was on the side. Dd got some scissors and chopped it in to little pieces. She was about 5 at the time. To her it was just paper. I never punished her - though I might have shouted a bit, and learnt the lesson that if it is precious you put it out of the way.

[GhostShip]

Wait a second, hold on hold on. If the COMPANY sent the wrong thing then it's up to them to send the correct item. They shouldn't expect you to send the wrong thing back to them first

The company I work for do. It ensures we actually get our product back. Postage is always refunded of course.

[Pandemoniaa]

You don't break the habits of a "fiddly" child by using Christmas as a rather cruel opportunity to teach them the error of their ways. Ds2 was another child who had to touch/explore/experiment with everything. But I'd never have waited 2 weeks to present him with the consequences of his actions either. Let alone choose Christmas to do so.

There's nothing wrong in expecting an 8 year old to try and curb their lack of impulse control but there's a time and a place. This isn't either.

[MollyMurphy]

hmm...I had a mum who would over-react to such a thing as fiddling with this and that, minor accidents etc. I resent her pettiness to this day. Your child might not recall the stupid spatula thing down the years but she'll remember how you made her feel about meaningless nothing's if this OTT thing is an on running issue.

[NumericalMum]

I would feel humiliated if I was the child. On Christmas Day. Lovely.

[WitchCrafter]

Xmas is a magical time for kids. DO NOT ruin her chidhood.

[WitchCrafter]

Please let her have a sleepover at mine over Xmas if its too much trouble

[IneedAsockamnesty]

I hope you feel better soon why don't you get a few books from the library on positive parenting you may find them helpful

[KitchenandJumble]

Please do not use this incident to punish your DD on Xmas Day. Really, please do not do that. She may be "guilty" of this crime. Or she may not be. It could have been one of the other children. It would be wrong to single her out in this way (even if she is to blame, and you don't even know that) and cruel to use a lovely holiday like Xmas which should be a magical time for a 7-year-old.

Remind all the children to keep their hands off things that don't belong to them. Give your DD something to fiddle with. And forget about it. It's not worth all this over-thinking and fury.

Try to see it from her POV. You really don't want her looking back on her childhood and thinking, "I could never do anything right. My mother made such an issue out of a cheap kitchen tool. I had innocently played with it [or worse: my sister was the one who played with it but I was blamed for it] and my mother was furious about it for weeks. On Xmas morning, when I thought it would be forgotten, she actually wrapped up the scraper as though it were a gift. I was humiliated and hurt and didn't know what I had done that was so wrong."

[PearlyWhites]

Is this a joke ? If not yabvu she is a child and it cost a fiver, regardless of cost is cruel to deduct Xmas presents

[givemeaclue]

A pack of wooden spoons is £1 in poundland.

Please don't give yourself wooden spoons for Christmas, just buy a pack.

[givemeaclue]

I don't understand about the melted fish slice?

[Floggingmolly]

It was op's fault it melted, therefore she can only have a replacement as one of her Christmas presents apparently. It's family wide . Time it bloody stopped now, though.

[imaginethat]

No no no... it's just wrong to mix punishment with Christmas.

Christmas is about loving and giving, not punishment.

[givemeaclue]

Op, are you in an abusive relationship? Do you need help?

[YouCanBe]

You seem to want to be cruel to your daughter to change something about her that irritates you. I don't think cruelty is a great parenting tool to employ.

1.
You don't know whether she even did it.

2.
Why is it such a crime for a child to open a new scraper in the kitchen of her own home if she was interested to see it? How would anyone else know you planned to return it?

3.
The idea to partially spoil her Christmas as part of the punishment is plain nasty. Why would you want to take away something special for a child, something that should be a happy time for her, over a poxy £5 kitchen item misunderstanding a fortnight earlier?

[quirrelquarrel]

It's not fucking cruelty.
Do you know what actual cruelty is?
Doesn't seem like you do.